A Scottish Fairy
I am a wee little fairy
On tap o' the Christmas tree.
It's no a job I fancy,
Well how would you like tae be me.
AW tarted up wi' tinsel,
It's enough tae make ye boak.
An a couple of jaggy branches,
Rammed up the back o' your frock.
An these wee lights aroon me
I canna get Nae sleep.
An there's the yearly visit
Frae Santa - the big fat creep.
On Christmas Day I'm stuck up here
While you're a' wiring in.
An naebody says "Hey, you up there,
Could ye go a slug o' gin?"
The Christmas tree's a bonny sight,
As the firelight softly flickers.
But think of me - I'm stuck up here.
With pine needles in my knickers.