Log in
British Lung Foundation
37,748 members44,802 posts



..........................Turkey story

A new young bride calls her mother in tears.

She sobs. he doesn't appreciate what I do for him.

''Now ,now.'' her mother comforted,'' I am sure it was all a misunderstanding.''

''No , mother you don't understand . I bought a frozen turkey breast and

he yelled and screamed at me about the price,''

''Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate,'' says her mum,'' Those turkey breasts are only a few quid,''

''No mother it wasn't the price of the turkey. It was the aeroplane ticket,''

Aeroplane ticket......What did you need an aeroplane ticket for?''

''Well mother ,when I went to cook it, I looked at the directions on the packet

and it said cook in frozen state, so I flew to Alaska.''



''I'm dreaming of a white Christmas''


~It's a cracker

Good King Wenceslas phoned for a pizza.

The sales girl asked him,''Do you want your usual ?

Deep pan,crisp and even?''




The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.
34 Replies

Hi King very funny. I am not happy though. My Husband has gone into hospital last night. We went out for the day. He was very cold. I put my scarf and coat on him and he felt a little warmer. I thought it was because he was in a wheelchair. When he got home he could barely make it to the door. I took his temperature and it was 38 degrees. I called what I thought was the out of hours Dr. But you now have to ring 111. They said they would send a Paramedic with no flashing lights. An ambulance turned up with flashing lights. They said they would take him in this time and try to bring him back. I don't know what that meant. His temperature was by then 39 degrees. They put him on a nebuliser and took him in. I have spoken to him this morning and they have him on IV antibiotics and paracetamols. He sounded a little better. So not feeling happy. Hope you are better though. X

He is being well cared for Mavary so do not worry.I am ok as long as I don't cough then I hit the ceiling!

Thanks King. I saw him this afternoon and he is so much better. He is on IV antibiotics for two or three days. The amazing thing is they have got his oxygen up to 96 per cent. I can't remember him ever having it that high. They were on about taking him off of it. Lets hope it stays up.

Fingers crossed

High King. Just to say my Husband is probably coming home tomorrow. It depends on the bloods they took today. X

I am so pleased for you both.xxx


Good news Mavary. I hope he is on the mend. x

Hi Mavary,so pleased that things are better,it must have given you a scare though,poor girl!

Hope he makes it home tomorrow xxxx

Mavary, I'm so sorry. That must have been very scary for both of you. I hope he improves very soon. Sending hugs and best wishes.

Kath xxxx

Hi Poemsgalore. Thanks for your post. He is much better today. He is on IV antibiotics and continuous oxygen. His oxygen this afternoon was 96per cent. That is higher than I ever remember it. They are on about taking him off now. I must admit I have been very stressed about it as I know the outcome of what he has. Thanks again for your wishes. X

Sorry to hear about your hubby Mavary, hope he is slowly improving with the drugs. He's in the right place as you know , take care and look after yourself as you need your strength to support him.Best Wishes

Hi Katie oxo. Thanks for your post. He was much better this afternoon. His oxygen levels are brilliant. 96 per cent. Higher than it has been for a very long time. They are talking about taking him off of it. He is also on IV antibiotics for two or three days. I am so glad he went to hospital. They nearly left him home for the Dr to sort out. He wouldn't have had the IV antibiotics and it would have been a slower recovery. Anyway thanks again.

That's good news and you sound a bit happier now your hubbys improving x

Hi Katie. It's much better than the ambulance Paramedic made me think. When she listened to his chest she said she had never heard anything like it and she even got her other colleague to listen. She told me outside that it was going to get worse yet and he would feel like he was choking. To be honest when she said that I didn't think my husband was even going to last the year. I have been at my wits end. He is much better now and I am feeling better about it. The trouble is I know it is going to happen again. The Paramedic said they would take him this time to see if they could bring him back. It suggested to me they won't do it too often. I've never had an ambulance person that is so negative before and I called them many times for my Mother and Father. It's a horrible world out there. Anyway I've had my rant. How are you? I put my Christmas trimmings up last night. I didn't go to bed till one o clock. I am shattered today. My Husband said to put them up while he was away. I said I was going to put them up three weeks before Christmas which is later in the week. He may be home tomorrow as it is two or three days IV antibiotics. So it will be a surprise for him. I will ask my son to come and put the lights on before he gets there. You take care and thanks for your posting.

Well Mavary, have to say paramedics are usually less negative, but maybe they didn't want your hopes risen only to be deflated later. It is very hard when your hubby is seriuosly ill, Know and understand I have been there myself. Anyway all is good this time and you are busy getting ready for Christmas. Me to,have done cards for post and wrapped great grandchildrens presents. Hope your lights look pretty when your son does them. I have a fibre optic tree as cant do lights.Well done to you to do your hubby's request and enjoy your time when he gets home X

Hi Katie. Apparently someone else has complained about her manner. The good news is he is probably coming home tomorrow. X

Hope hubby is settled back home by now X

Hi Katie. He is home and looking much better. I got my son to put on the Christmas lights before we got home. He hid in the kitchen with my two and a half year old Granddaughter. It looked lovely when we walked in. I am shattered now as I have worked really hard to get it all nice. I woke at four o clock this morning and I had to drive fourteen miles there and fourteen miles back so I'm ready for bed. I'm pleased he is home though. Take care Mavis. X

Glad to hear all is well hope you had a good nights sleep. Your message brought a smile to my face, can just imagine your granddaughter and the tree with lights. Take care of yourselfX

Hi Katie. I think I overdid the last few days. I went to bed so tired I couldn't get to sleep. I also had a bad head that I still had this morning. In the end at one thirty I took a sleeping tablet. I try not to take them as they can be addictive. I was just desperate. I suffer with migraines anyway. I've had a little easier day today. We had a lovely roast beef dinner that I cooked. He really enjoyed it. My son turned up tonight with my little Granddaughter. She is so gorgeous. I have some Russian dolls which she likes to take apart so I hid half a dozen chocolate drops under them. She thought that was great fun. She didn't want to go home and wanted to stay with Grandad. My husband has had quite a good day today but I think he is a little tired tonight. Well must go I have a cup of tea that must be cold now. Take care. Mavis. X

That was a cracker KOTC to start the day, thought you were on the mend, so sorry to hear you still have a fair bit of pain. Take care with time you will soon be better.

1 like

I'm ok as long as I don't cough

I can appreciate what you are saying

nice to c u back KOTC,

Thanks bubbles

LOL was the young bride a 'blonde' perchance KOTC? I'm allowed to say that as a blonde myself xx

I thought it but better not say it as I am a redhed. Another good laugh.

I did alter things a little so as not to upset the apple cart

Blonde maybe, name not known but could it be !!!!!!

not me KOTC - never been a bride - which is either remarkably smart of me, or remarkably dumb - no answers please lol xxx

I would say remarkably !!!!!!!!!!!!! undine

you meant smart didn't you,- didn't you? ----- thank you xx

But of course, as if I could have meant anything else

Sorry to hear about the pain King, just dont laugh to much! Maybe we will have some serious thoughts of yours?! xxx

The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.

You may also like...