A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Christmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate. The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint.. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note:

Dear Sir, Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part. The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint..

A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, let it harden, then stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.

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10 Replies


  • Hi Annie, Brilliant already passed it on.Matt

  • That hit the spot Annie! :) :)

  • Hi Annie that really made me giggle :) how are you and hows hubby doing? Janexx

  • Working towards a more peaceful existence!B. has been on his new drug for a month and is to report to Addenbrooke's chemo tomorrow. And we are moving to be near daughter in Lymington. A big step after 45 years here, but I am told, being near the sea, the air is good. And I know L'ton to be a very familiar place with happy memories.. Thanks, L.L. xx

  • Thank you Annieseed, good laugh. :-) :-) Alison

  • Loved it!

  • Right up my!!!!


  • Hilarious Annieseed, just told my son it and he's laughing too. xx

  • lol thanks xx

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