About a hundred years ago!my husband and I were going to The New London Theatre to see a show which was going to be televised.For the life of me I cant even remember what the show was? I only remember 'the moment' I do remember that royals would be attending,red carpet laid everywhere oooer!
I was really looking forward to the occasion.Before the show we went to a bar across the road from the theatre to grab a bite to eat.I was dressed in a maroon fine crepe gypsy style dress very floaty little number, my husband wore an obligatory grey suit looking quite debonair ,i can remember thinking 'yes your definitely do bless him'.Well I had the scampi in a basket and Rob (my husband)had the chicken in the basket.I gently reminded him not to have too much too drink as once they went on air nobody would be allowed out for a wee!so I had a wine and lemonade and greedy b------s Rob had 3 pints of lager!!! Not wanting to upset the applecart we were enjoying ourselves after all,but I could feel my jaw grinding furiously at the thought of his weak bladder in the theatre !Why he no wristen to me? MEN!!! "right we had better start making tracks " i said .So we both went and powdered our noses haha! and across the road we went.
Oh my! there were photographers everywhere waiting for the royals to arrive!!! We needed to drop our coats in the cloakroom so i suggested he have another wee and i'd do the coats.With my back to the wall I watched everyone in their refinery and smiled at peoples effort I also looked to see where we needed to go?which was up the escalators and turn right.The foyer was packed with press and officials.Come on Rob where are you time was marching on,. getting a little grr i was?Then he was there and we walked quickly to the escalator,I stepped on first, both feet on and Rob poked me in my back i kinda half turned "what?" i said turning back "Jane your dress is in yer knickers!!" and then giggled.So i ignored him! muttering"yeayea". Then he poked me again a little more insistent this time but laughing as he spoke "you really have im not joking haha" Oh my hes pissed the lagers gone to his head.I turned quickly towards him scowling and said "just belt up will you,your not funny!!!"What I did notice was the noise level had gone up everyone seemed to be laughing then Rob not laughing said"everyones looking at your arse! pleaseee listen to me!" I turned reaching behind with one arm before i felt i saw a sea of smiling teeth twinkling as all the cameras lights flashed .. at my rear end ,my hand then feeling not my dress but my bulging tights that now housed my floaty dress scrunched up inside them!!! Oh my god in a flash my hands groped for my dress yanking my dress out as quick as I could trying not to be too conspicuous ?? Far to late Jane everybody had had a right old birds eye view! I was as red as my dress so very embarrassed !!
Fortunately for me the VIPs arrived and all eyes were off my botty and looking down into the foyer at the very glamorous arrivals phew what luck.When the show finished we went back to the bar where I had copious amounts of alcohol and both of us laughed like drains at my most embarrassing moment! Oh Jane....