This is one of mine, oh dear Jane!

About a hundred years ago!my husband and I were going to The New London Theatre to see a show which was going to be televised.For the life of me I cant even remember what the show was? I only remember 'the moment' I do remember that royals would be attending,red carpet laid everywhere oooer!

I was really looking forward to the occasion.Before the show we went to a bar across the road from the theatre to grab a bite to eat.I was dressed in a maroon fine crepe gypsy style dress very floaty little number, my husband wore an obligatory grey suit looking quite debonair ,i can remember thinking 'yes your definitely do bless him'.Well I had the scampi in a basket and Rob (my husband)had the chicken in the basket.I gently reminded him not to have too much too drink as once they went on air nobody would be allowed out for a wee!so I had a wine and lemonade and greedy b------s Rob had 3 pints of lager!!! Not wanting to upset the applecart we were enjoying ourselves after all,but I could feel my jaw grinding furiously at the thought of his weak bladder in the theatre !Why he no wristen to me? MEN!!! "right we had better start making tracks " i said .So we both went and powdered our noses haha! and across the road we went.

Oh my! there were photographers everywhere waiting for the royals to arrive!!! We needed to drop our coats in the cloakroom so i suggested he have another wee and i'd do the coats.With my back to the wall I watched everyone in their refinery and smiled at peoples effort I also looked to see where we needed to go?which was up the escalators and turn right.The foyer was packed with press and officials.Come on Rob where are you time was marching on,. getting a little grr i was?Then he was there and we walked quickly to the escalator,I stepped on first, both feet on and Rob poked me in my back i kinda half turned "what?" i said turning back "Jane your dress is in yer knickers!!" and then giggled.So i ignored him! muttering"yeayea". Then he poked me again a little more insistent this time but laughing as he spoke "you really have im not joking haha" Oh my hes pissed the lagers gone to his head.I turned quickly towards him scowling and said "just belt up will you,your not funny!!!"What I did notice was the noise level had gone up everyone seemed to be laughing then Rob not laughing said"everyones looking at your arse! pleaseee listen to me!" I turned reaching behind with one arm before i felt i saw a sea of smiling teeth twinkling as all the cameras lights flashed .. at my rear end ,my hand then feeling not my dress but my bulging tights that now housed my floaty dress scrunched up inside them!!! Oh my god in a flash my hands groped for my dress yanking my dress out as quick as I could trying not to be too conspicuous ?? Far to late Jane everybody had had a right old birds eye view! I was as red as my dress so very embarrassed !!

Fortunately for me the VIPs arrived and all eyes were off my botty and looking down into the foyer at the very glamorous arrivals phew what luck.When the show finished we went back to the bar where I had copious amounts of alcohol and both of us laughed like drains at my most embarrassing moment! Oh Jane....

84 Replies

  • Brilliant what a corker, red cheeks. Ha ha xx

  • haha red cheeks indeed :) Janexx

  • Really wanted the floor to open up Jackie!Janexx

  • Well that's something you will never forget :D lovely story Jane...i love it xox

  • Firmly in my memory bank! Glad you enjoyed it Coccobo :) Janexx

  • A site to behold


  • Jury's out on that one KOTC :) jANEXX

  • ll am still debating on it,as a mp let you no nxt summer after reses

    ,or if im on long vacation ,ur on a wing and a prayer,hold ur breathe girl,lollol hows u then and family ok yeh,bernicexx

  • Lol hi bernice its her birthday today,she seems a lot better now she has caught up with her sleep,the crisis has past thank heavens.Still lots for her to get to grips with but defo going in the right direction.Thanx for asking bernice. Janexx

  • thank u for tellin us,as that's the 1st step on the ladder to recovery,open talk,good ear no pressure,,bernicexx

  • That was well told, L.L., I felt for you. But what an exciting evening.

    I must try and think of some embarrassing moments that I have had. I was staying with my sister in Wash. D.C and sitting in an antique bed, when one of the back legs broke. The following day, I got into sister's car and broke a door handle. There must be something of more dramatic whatsit, in my life. Might come to mind overnight.

  • Its always awkward when your at somebody elses and something breaks! The host replying "dont worry really accidents happen not a problem?!" Red faces all round eh? Janexx

  • Hi longlungs, what a relief when the the dignitaries arrived. My kids still talk about my mother coming down the stairs trailing toilet roll behind her like an Andrex puppy, completely unaware what was tucked into her knckers. No one could tell her because we were all screaming with laughter. :-) :-) Alison

  • Ohh nooo lol bless her.Ibet she laughed aswell when she did know haha.Janexx

  • lol

  • Hehe, how funny :o)

  • Always funny after the event lol. :) Janexx

  • An embarrasing moment for me was when I attended my then fiances works Xmas do. Party games were arranged and I was pushed into joining in with a game of musical chairs.. I always seemed to be next to a chair when the music stopped., and won. They made a big thing about presenting me with a prize in full view of everyone including my future mother and father in law. It was a copy of the latest book which was causing a lot of publicity LADY CHATTERLEYS LOVER. My face was crimson. Found out that I had been deliberately set up by one of the managers, My future father in law took the book home and it was some time before I got it back, then my father borrowed it to pass around his mates.

  • Now it would be 'Fifty Shades of Grey'!!!

  • True joyce

  • Haha rotten sods!I bet you felt as hot as the colour you turned eh? Janexx

  • Absolutely I was only 18 and everyone was laughing. Joyce

  • Ahhh you just want the floor to swallow you up!18 is not the age to appreciate jokes like that at all! Jane

  • ll our age groups the best ,we can take and we can give back,and still be friends,bernicexx

  • Your not wrong there bernice very true my friend.Janexx

  • 2 sides to the coin,heads up all the way,i can be serious as well but a laugh is a must do,we live for the day but we do it in style,bernicexxxX

  • Couldnt agree more bernice.Janexx

  • Some good laughs here!

  • Arnt there loads of moments love em !Janexx

  • When I was around 25, enjoying life to the full and in the pub every night, I regularly used to loose my bunch of keys. I was locked out of my newly attained flat many times and had to force an entry with a borrowed screwdriver leaving a little gap on the front door closure. I had learned that if I could find a ‘lolly-stick’ and sharpen the tip by scraping it along a brick wall I could then use it to get in. The school-kids used to drop them on the pavement on their way to school.

    Anyway, on this occasion I found myself at my front door so reached into my trouser pocket for my keys and found to my horror no keys, no pocket, no trousers, if fact no clothing at all.

    It was then I realised that I had been sleep walking, God knows where to at 3am or for how long!

    My brain snapped into emergency mode and I realised I needed a lolly-stick and quickly, but the only thing around to cover what was left of my dignity was a tiny front door-mat, not ideal but all that there was.

    So there I was, 3 o’clock in the morning, flitting around between the trees and street-lamps trying to keep this little door-mat in position with one hand and searching around the tree bases with the other for a discarded lolly-stick. Try explaining that to a passing policeman !

    However the Gods were smiling on me (or at me) that morning, I duly found my lolly-stick after about 5 minutes, sharpened it on the garden wall on the way in and successfully forced an entry.

    Lesson learned, I made sure that there was always a collection of lolly-sticks under the little door-mat in future, it never happened again but I often wonder just how many nights I had been wandering around in the buff previously.

  • Oh my Dukes thats very worrying haha can see you now,I bet your eyes have never searched so avidly lol! Do you still sleep walk? where do you live haha.Janexx

  • Cant compete with this although I did lose my knickers in the high street, and started to side down my legs. Crept in a corner and removed them.

  • Remember that feeling when the knicker elastic used to snap especially in public. Joyce

  • Ohhh annie haha sorry, how very very embarrassing for you, was this a recent moment? haha so funny now,not then Im sure.Lol Janexx

  • it was ive found them ive hung em on bus stop post,ha bernicexx

  • What are you like bernice you made me spit my coffee out! so funny hahaha Janexx

  • hahaha,well im not cleaning up u dope,hun,xxx

  • ll u need a bib ,1 comin threw,ha bernicexx I use em so don't be shy,

  • Thanx ihavnt until now !haha Janexx

  • I do love your quick wit bernice just so funny thanx for making me smile lots.:) Janexx

  • my pleasure,its called hair of the dog,rough night but im standing,1 was down 1 was up and I was up,1 down bless er we let er sleep it of,i am nice arnt I,threw er a bowl ,haha,

  • hahaha so modest too!lol here comes the bowl,duck before it hits your head haha Janexx

  • er head went in the bowl,i draw the line at somethings uno.she drew the short straw,no food for er,4am we fed er,u see we care,hun,have to have a laugh jane it helps,got the bowl I,,ll hang on 2 it ,might need it for xmas sesh.only got so many bowls so all helps.xxx

  • im hear stitch haha,bernicexxx

  • Yes Yes open it id love one any ice ? :) Janexx

  • open wide say aww,wait bib on 1st ur a dope,close ur eyes comin now with ice,haha

  • haha alright dont spill it aww mmmmm lol Janexx

  • oh well im on the wagon,haha

  • Im happy with the Baileys bernice can be fussey haha! Janexx

  • have read that again,contact found,if its free im ok,as long as its wet,haha bernicexx

  • You lot are completely mad, but you make me smile! M

  • it does help the madness M,we can be ill but have a sence of humour,with it,when ur with people in same boat its all good,take it easy,bernicexxx,

  • Had to look this up - exuberance of youth!

  • Like the sound of that annie good word.:) Janexx

  • al get the dictionary out ,haha

  • haha whats it say? :) Janexx

  • hang on lost my contact ,haha 2 mins wait

  • its to do with youth and parents,so we are out,were to young lollolxx

  • oh good im slowly going round the twist here lol Janexx

  • my food haha

  • haha my curser is flying round this page your all over the damn place i cant keep up, how very funny :) Janexx

  • you have ate it ,havnt you,no free drinks of me again,i will have chicken and rice,followed by ice cream,and you can whistle,haha sleep and take it easy ,jane xxbernicex

  • L.L. = I worked hard to remember that word. Bit of a word snob but hard work getting the right word and the spelling!! Good for the brain.

  • true,

  • Its has a nice feel to it as you say it sounds rounded some how.Janexx

  • Oh Jane, how many wines had you had ;) how embarrassing.

    one time I was so pie eyed that I had become numb with alcohol and went to the loo, I was in there ages hovering and waiting for my bladder to empty. After about 10 minutes I decided to pay more attention to the sound of water I could hear. It was the water in the cistern making the piddling sound not me ha ha he he LOL wot an irrriot.... I was giggle so loud at myself when I came out of the loo, to a very long queue of ladies standing with crossed legs and gritted teeth but I quickly tried to straighten my face as not one of them looked amused.

  • I no that feeling,ha bernicexx

  • the crossed legs or the numb Bernice ;)

  • hahaha am not saying,bernicexxx

  • haha good calf muscles BC,! Its good to laugh at our selves.I was getting my munchy tray ready for bed and turned thinking my cat had jumped onto the side could hear his purr, no cat so started to completely turn coz i could hear this purring getting louder just before iwas thinking i had a ghost or something there was such a loud purr i stopped breathing and so did the purring haha it was you Jane and giggled all the way to bed. :) happy days BC Janexx

  • weres mine then I shared the drink,urry up a no you ,will be gone in a tick,pass us some,ha bernicexx

  • Theres two people in this world the quick and the dead im lively me what about you haha Janexx

  • very lively now send the food,stop eatin itxxx

  • Oh my ive got the hiccups its coming through,theres enough dont go fretting now.Haha Janexx

  • well serves you right,sleep well hope stomachs not to full,hate to see you get indigestion,but if you do you do,xxxhaha bernice

  • Oh nice good to know who yer friends are huh lolSleep well my friend.Im fine dont you worry about that Ive got the rennies. Sweetdreams Janexx

  • Really enjoyed that Jane, Could see the picture, Thanks, love Heather X

  • Haha yes memorable it sure was.Glad you enjoyed my special moment lol.:) Janexx

  • That was a really good, memorable event!

    Yes, I have one too. I had to go to Belgium by the next plane in the afternoon from Liverpool. I had packed consciously everything with the help of some friends. The luggage was sent by train to Belgium and i would pick that later when arriving there. I looked for my Belgian passport ... in my pocket, in my travel bag. Where could it be? I grew quite anxious. Especially when I realized we had packed it and sent it ahead to Belgium!

    Oh gosh! I dashed by taxi to the Belgian embassy, told my story to a poised lady. She told me to wait and she would see if the ambassador would be prepared to do me a favour. What if he couldn't? I saw the time ticking, getting near the time I should be in Speke airport, as it was in those days.

    The lady came bursting out of the ambassador's office. She had a laissez-passer that guaranteed I was bona fide. wow! No time to go back to say good bye to my friends. I took another taxi to the airport. The custom officer looked cautiously at the paper, but since it had the mark of the ambassador of the Belgian consulate, it was alright.

    I jumped on the plane! I was still under shock. In Belgium, they accepted the paper too! Phew! That was an anxious moment!

    And yes, I found my passport stuck with other papers in an attaché case which I had sent with the parcel!

  • Oh helingmic what a hair raising time for you ,id have felt terrified of them saying no ,step over here etc etc .Glad it worked out though,bet your heart was thumping! As you said PHew! Janexx

  • Oh well done Jane, do you remember those dresses that had the boob tube part at the top covering the bust then the either straight of floaty skirt. I had one, and after an evening out I needed taxi, and leaned across the desk to kiss the operator for finding me a cab, that had not been available for at least two hours, but had suddenly appeared from nowhere, and there I was with my boobs, hanging out the top of the elasticacted boob tube. Such a laugh, untill a few days later and I needed a taxi to take me to work, yeah you guessed the driver was the radio operator from a few night earlier. We all dinned out on that story for many years after, and I continued to use the taxi company, on a regular basis. Even had a best customer discounted account. Still chuckle about it now. June.

  • Hahaha oh June how funny aswell as embarassing and to still be seeing the person who had the eye popping view yikes, glad you get discount.lol :) Janexx

  • Yeah but I never had to wait long for a taxi, just a shame that the boobs have gone a little now, but I'm working on the exercises to improve that, ha ha

  • hahaha what do they say " I must I must improve my bust" thats better do you feel uplifted now lol :) Janexx

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