Ireally wanna a ciggie !!! My daughter has had a breakdown i think she wanted to die where she is so fed up,they wanted to section her but are now postponing till thursday? Ihave the children 9yr and 3yr. icant talk on the phone coz older earwigging.Please excuse me for using this forum for my very dirty laundry.Ithink the realisation of the day and its events are just hitting me,im sorry but im gonna be dramatic now excuse me,ihave really got torrents of tears at the mo.sosad she tx me to say going to bed coz she doesnt trust herself.im saying to myself the fact she has said that she wont?my breathing has become panicy im not hyperventalating,but feel out of breath if that makes any sense.Part of me is scared icant cope with the kiddies,the other is of course i can,and i can mentally,physically a little different.the eldest chid is of great concern he has half an idea of something and has expressed his concern bless his little heart,the younger is a she devil lol bless her.I think she takes after her nannie.ihavnt had a ciggie but could cheerfully stickfive in at once. why do things always seem so much worse at night.iguess its coz ive stopped and just taking it all in.This is very cathartic,has made me able to breathe deeply again this is good. Im not wearing the f.....g patch tonight my god haha oh its a funny old life and then you f.....g die,haha not really folks will get through this.tomorow is another day.thankyou for listening.Janexx
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