I dont know how or why but i very happily find myself in a speeding sports car sat next to Jason Statham,:) mmm this is a good start.I soon realise we're speeding coz we are on the run ??? We come screeching to a standstill where Jason tells me to get out quick and run too the house over there in the corner,they are apparently expecting me and know what to do and will keep me safe until he gets back .!!"what the.." "quick hurry up RUN " "RUN you are having a laugh i can hardly walk!!?? I hadnt even got one leg out of the car and my breath had gone i started to gasp now getting scared PANIC pulsed through every fibre of my being, my heart felt like it was going to explode!!IM just gonna collapse and die right here right now? " GO GO GO " Jason screamed at me. "NO I CANT " i screamed back "why cant we just go home whats happening??" Jason shouted angerily at me "NOT NOW JUST BLOODY GO" he kinda pushed me out of the car ! i gasped and ran as quick as my poor old longlungs would allow! I fell on to the font door banging,as it open isaw what looked like the whole of the Mafia all pointing machine guns at me!" icant breathe" and promptly collapsed to the floor i heard someone say" get her out the back the shits hit the fan its all gonna go off in a minute bloody hurry up, somebody dragged me to the back of this house and left me " Crying and hyperventalating all over the place I noticed an open window, right ive gotta go home and get as far away from hear as lively as i can, so i climbed out of the window and started to run (lungs are not an issue for some reason lol)and run and run...I look up "oh no what now?" down at the bottom of the road one then two,three black cars screech round the corner towards me as they get closer ican now see more men all hanging out of the windows with more machine guns!!!???" what the hells happening sod this for a game of soldiers, and with that I quickly fosbury flopped into the bushes next to me muttering to myself " please dont shoot me ive done nothing wrong, wheres Jason the bastardy?? omg omg omg please someone help me .................

Then my front door knocked and I woke up !!!!!! How mad it seemed so real stayed with me all day.

Need to take the patch OFF before i snuggle me thinks ?? Heres to happy

57 Replies

  • haha, sorry to laugh but it's the way you told it :D xxxxx KEEP IT UP THOUGH (I'm laughing even more now I've noticed the last of your tags :D :D )

  • hi peeg no you laugh away anything that makes us laugh is good in my book, i hadnt noticed that tag until you pointed it out i choked on my cough sweet how funny.:) Janexx

  • the first one's quite funny too :D

  • This is an amazing dream, longlungs, and gripped me. Then, reality. Reading this was good. Love Anniex

  • isnt it strange how some dreams stay with us ?whilst i was dreaming this iwas very scared and was glad my neighbour knocked,and that was my first time to say i dont smoke ,she was asking me for a ciggie.:) Janexx

  • great, like i said KEEP IT UP, YOU CAN DO IT - I'm looking forward to the next dream installment :)

  • Sweet Dreams


  • Well thankyou kind sir ishall be taking the patch off tonite .Janexx

  • Let us know what you dream about tonight. Hope it is a nice dream. Nitey nite

  • hi chellshock haha well as long as its not an 18 rating eh or.....Janexx

  • Thinking again, longlungs, you have imagination. We could set up a short story/bog category. There must be a number of topics, not necessarily health, that we could write a short blog,report or whatever you would like to call it. I have one in mind but a bit late for me.

    Dont know what is going on here with me, but I keep getting these posts from the arthritic health unlocked. No harm in that but I dont have arthritis. (Thank God - enough else) Dont want to offend but they aren't needed.

  • Sorry, not BOG but BLOG!!

  • yer yer ive heard all about you haha ,could be an idea,do you think praps i shouldnt post such tales it was real and i was asking if anyone else had same experience.but i dont want to annoy,but you are right could be an idea,sometimes im not sure what category to use tend to use general chat.:) Janexx

  • Hi I think that some bog stories could be quite funny. Trouble is some of the stories wouldn't be suitable for an open forum like this (toilet humer )

  • Well, the shits and writing bogs. I have entered a strange world here tonight. :-) :-) Alison

  • Haha how funny its the way we tell em eh didnt see until id posted,hows you tonight Alison?

  • Hi Jane, I'm a bit sleepless tonight - mind racing, tricky week trying to get someone at the hospital to understand plain English. They booked me for barium 'meal on Monday 7th Oct and then for colonoscopy for 8th Oct. I've been telling all diff people the instructions for both mean they can't be done on consecutive days. No one would listen. They kept telling me they knew what they were doing and it would be fine until I said OK I'll co e on the 7th and I will be being sick and pooing all over their X-ray table as I will have started the prep for Tuesday 8th which last time made me sosick I was dehydrated, rushed to hospital and put on drip. I am nervous enough about the prep making me horribly sick again without all the extra stress. If i don't do the prep I can't have the colonoscopy and if i do the prep I will be ill. Martyn can no longer drive and I have little Chloe to worry about. Don't know how to get to and from hospital if throwing and pooing and not sure what to do about Chloe. Also concerned about her birthday the following week. Things bit complicated at the moment but good news Chloe is going to be playing in a big orchestra at Gloucester Cathedral on 19 and 20 Oct as part of Benjamin Britten 100th birthday celebrations. I think it will be a lovely experience for a child who will be 9 on the 17th. Just have to try and work everything out and force myself to swallow stuff that I know the effect of. Must not be a whimp, got to steel myself. His are you doing Jane? Well, I hope. Speak soon, :-) :-) Alison

  • The efficiency of medical administrators - you couldn't make it up could you?

  • What prep do you have Alison. The one my hospital changed to didn't suit me so I am now allowed the old one I had called Pixilax. I find that as long as I get the water icy cold that I have to mix it with, it's ok.

  • Hi Lynne, I have picolax and moviprep. Absolutely dreading it. I also don't want Chloe to see me in the state I was in last time. I rang sensible elder daughter today to see if she could stay the night next Monday to ferry me to hospital if i dehydrate too much over night. Then lovely husband can see to Chloe in the morning. I have already sorted a lift to school for her and I may have found a lift to the appointment. I just need my daughter to be able to reschedule things for me. She has used a lot of her holiday this year to help us with appointments and operation in Bristol so i am incredibly lucky she has been prepared to do that for us. I have looked up tips for getting this muck down my throat. One was using v cold water, another was to use a straw and have a clear lemonade type drink as a chaser after each mouthful and suck boiled sweets to disguise the taste. I also need to buy baby wipes or the bum gets incredibly sore. Not sure if I can swallow water cold enough to be effective. How a straw might help, I don't know. Maybe the hiatus hernia and reflux make it harder to swallow and keep down. Who knows ... yukitty yuk! Glad cold water works for you, Lynne. :-) :-) Alison

  • hi Alison what a situation to be in??? what time is first appt can you start prep for second day after the first test does it give you sufficient time to allow for your movements :) ??iTry not to worry about next week yet, dont overload yourself get through these tests Chloe will be fine she sounds an absolute delight how proud do you feel about her and her music how special is thata brilliant occasion to look forward too will they be recording it all?Your get there try not to get yer knicks in a twist too much coz it just never helps i know everything will go a little better.if you can take a few breaths and relax,you know how you were before ,so for warned is forarmed so to speak what Lynne below says sounds good if thats applicable to you aswell.Im super smashing at the mo thankyou Alison,I think ive got docs and things next week just the normal stuff,Takecare now let us know how it goes.Thinking of you Janexx

  • Thank you very much Jane. My knickers are firmly twisted I'm afraid. You are right I do know what to expect but it is a bit like waiting for the noose! Still I have a few tricks to try ... :-) :-) Alison

  • oh Alison its all very unpleasent for you,its gotta be done though eh? so you've gotta grab yourself by the younowats and just do it.!You cant let that brain of yours run astray,hyperthetically now,if you were taking someone you loved dearly to have the same as you, how would you be able to help them get through those two days??Its not nice i do understand.3-4 years back i had to have angiogram re my heart and i could see the screen quite clearly Iwas nervous,the doc who did this made a right pigs ear of it, to cut a long story short the room looked like a slaughter house at that stage i was now talking to my brain very seriously,DONT PANIC JANE THESE DOCS CAN DEAL WITH THIS ALL WILL BE OK???my heart went bonkers couldnt find any spray for under my tongue "have you got any pain ?" "sshould i? my friend is right outside this door and ive got my own spray!!! which they then got the poor doc doing the proceedure was sweating was all so absurd i started to laugh uncontrollably which kinda had a calming effect all round some how .,my arteries got scared and went into spasm sothey couldnt plug so had to use pressure."we are so sorry Jane blah blah blah" " thats ok how lucky am i too have a young goodlooking doctor pressing firmly on my groin you've made my day !!" Janexx

  • You have a lovely way of looking at life. Long may you continue! ;)

  • Bless your heart Toci we all have hi's and the lows for sure.idont know if its my imagination but there has been some happy energy here tonight and good positive energy and not just my way i think we are all part of that together we have hopefully made for a nicer evening.That feel good factor.what do you think Toci ? Janexx

  • Oh im so pleased you feel that too Stitch,thought maybe just me ,is as it should be. You've made my night ,thankyou.:) Janexx

  • I felt it too. xx

  • How good is that life is grand sometimes :) Janexx

  • Doubled over with laughter reading that. Jason may be drop dead gorgeous but he soon raced off and left you to the bad guys. Every time I see Jason in a movie now I will think of him kicking you out the car. So descriptive - you should think about writing stories

  • Hi twinks glad you enjoyed,iknow what a nasty man,of course had i stayed asleep and he came back, id probably been all over like a rash that would make for anice dream ?haha :) Janexx

  • Woah, calm down Jane, hehe :-) :-) Alison

  • oooer first bit of heavy breathing he'd have to call an ambulance! i'd die trying though ,no what i mean nudge nudge wink wink.:) :) Janexx

  • longlungs,shock would finish me lol,bernice

  • You know how funny what away to go eh goodgame though. :)Janexx

  • What a great dream, Hes one of the best, puff a bit just thinking of him.x

  • From Wikipedia

    Jason Statham (born 12 September 1967) is an English actor, producer, martial artist, and former diver. He is known for his roles in the Guy Ritchie crime films Revolver, Snatch, and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. He has also appeared in films such as The Italian Job, The Transporter, Death Race, Crank, The Bank Job, War, The Expendables, The Expendables 2, and Fast & Furious 6. He usually performs his own stage combat and stunts, and is noted for being typecast as an antihero.

  • Hi Toci you are so good at explaining things thankyou very much.Janexx

  • ha stitch,jason is the bit bald 1,bernicexx

  • hi bernice and you know what they say about bald men oooer Janexx

  • ha longlungs im thinking,bernicex

  • haha steady now! its thinking that gets me into trouble lol :) Janexx

  • no harm in thinking and dreaming,then back to earth,bernicex

  • Exactomondo bernice x

  • Haha how funny he is quite yum he could park his slippers under my bed any time.Ohh to dream :) igotta go upstairs now ,see you soon stitch sleep well now,is your breathing back on track now hope so ?Janexx

  • down boy lol,xx

  • hi stitch arnt they just!Toci i see has explained very nicely below.What can isay tickles my fancy hhhahha.Janexx

  • hi stitch arnt they just, very powerful indeed some of them.

  • Next installment please...your posts always lift my spirits.....congratulations on keeping off the ciggies.

  • Hello knitter what a lovely thing to say to me :) yes iam pleased with the ciggies thanx.Janexx

  • Oh Jane, I used patches and had the VERY vivid dreams but never had a nightmare. It is hard to explain to people who have not used them but the dreams are more real than real life! My dreams were really wonderful and I missed them a lot when the patches stopped.

  • They are mad i had lovely vivid dreams with the champix but the opp with theses ere patches,tell us a dream you had or are they Xrated ? How strange that champix made me wanna go to bed to dream but when awake could cheerfully hung myself.Its a funny old life.Janexx

  • Sorry - the dreams were strictly for me! ;)

  • wont intrude then,hope they was nice,bernicexx

  • no problem at all how lovely yum memories .:) Janexx

  • Wow you don't have boring dreams do you Jane, Great description, when does the book follow, dream action lady?

    Tony xx can't wait

  • How funny Tony i blame the patches.How are you still onwards and upwards yourself? You yourself must have felt the positive vibes from all these people here me too now just amazing dont you think.Thankyou for sharing.:) Janexx

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