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May have posted this before ?????

jandan profile image
12 Replies

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem

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jandan
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12 Replies

:D :D Brilliant, thanks Jan I don't think I'd seen it before. I loved it and will send it to my mum now. :)

anna xxx

beatles profile image
beatles

That is wicked and very funny...thanks jandan

Adrian

Absolutely brilliant.

libby7827 profile image
libby7827

Great Jan, thanks Libby x

appyalison profile image
appyalison

Thank you Jan, I laughed out loud and showed it to husband (who does not wear silk boxers! He thought it was hilarious too. :-) :-) Alison

jabber profile image
jabber

Loved it! I'll be sharing it with several friends too. :) :)

TrishD profile image
TrishD

Like it!

Really clever! Love annieseed xx

Toci profile image
Toci

Thanks. Made me smile. :D

Jan that's such a great joke, so glad you posted it.

Take care

Peta.

scrobbitty profile image
scrobbitty

:D :D Most excellent! xx

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails

Excellent

KOTC

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