Smile - home remedies

[jandan]

SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES THAT WORK!!

1. To avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables, get someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

2. To avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat-use the sink.

3. For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. (remember to use a timer.)

4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives - you'll be afraid to cough.

6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

[libby7827]

Jan,what a tonic you are, as usual! Loved them all. Libby xx

[ann1webb]

Brilliant Jan..........still giggling

Ann x

[Hidden]

good ones Jan, although I won't show my lads, in case they do number 2. LOL

Anna xxx

[dall05]

It seems the girl from Stockport is on form today. must be that high age/whoops sats reading. from this morning.

[Poppin]

Brilliant Jan, I will have to try number 5 on my mum, *giggles evilly*.

[Hidden]

Hilarious handy hints here, Jandan! xx Thanks

[scrobbitty]

I used No. 7 on the internet - it seems to have worked so not electrical then xx

[Shirleyj]

You've just put a big smile on my face, thank you jandan

[sassy59]

Great Jan - so that's me off to do No. 3 and I will sort Pete out No. 5. Now, where did I put that timer? xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[katieoxo60]

What a cracker as they say, brought a smile to me thanks Jandan

[Hidden]

Jan,

have a job for you Saturday and Sundays, Brilliant well donexxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[KingoftheCocktails]

HI Jan.That was lovely

KOTC

[hufferpuffer]

Hi Jan they were great! big smiles from me! hope you are keeping well ! XXX

[beatles]

Jandan, Admit it ....you were the owner of VIZ before you retired.

Seriously I love your bonkers humour, or worryingly, are you actually being serious?.

Best Wishes ......Adrian

[jandan in reply to beatles]

That is for me know and you to find out

[undine]

lovely thank you xx