Daily Laughter

Good Morning

Feeling better yes thank you. It will all change in half an hours time when I wake up.

I thought that I would just give you a little taster



As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's ass anymore.

..If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.

.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while

.. A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.

.. And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.

Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it ?

7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.

16. It's not hard to meet expenses . . .they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to

get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".

19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.


Have a great weekend no more until Monday

Breath Easy

If you can in this dam weather

Berwick. xxx

32 Replies

  • Very good start to the day.

    glad to hear your feeling a little better xx

  • Thank you cellshock, It has and still is a wee struggle go back to the docs on Monday.

    Have a great weekend

    Berwick xx

  • Thank goodness your back, I missed my morning laugh. xx

  • Morning exblonde, thank you. My best time of the day is between the time I open my eyes till I wake up.

    I thought that I would not spoil you just give you a little taster to keep you going till Monday. LOL

    Berwick xx

  • Happy Friday Graeme, so pleased you felt better for that half an hour. Leave those rats' bums alone though LOL . Going into tortoise mode now :D xx

  • Thank you scrobbitty, I alway thought that you was in tortoise mode anyway. Ha ha ha.

    Have a great weekend. No More until Monday.

    Graeme xxx

  • How did you get to know me so well? LOL - you look after yourself this weekend and see you back on Monday :) xx

  • :D :D :D Very pleased to have a laugh with you this morning, and also to see you are feeling a little better. :)

    Love Anna xx

  • Morning Anna,

    After reading all what's been happening I thought that my friends need a wee bit cheering up and a wee bit laughter. Even though is a small one glad that you had your chuckle.

    Have a great weekend Anna.

    Taking Saturday and Sundays off, don't want to overload the brain.

    Love Graeme xxx

  • Good start to my morning - thanks xxx

  • Thank you too Tadaw Have a great weekend

    Berwick xxxx

  • Nice to see you are back on form Graeme. Have a happy day mate.

    Regards. Bobby

  • Thanks |Bobby feeling better until I wake up the go down hill. So I thought that all my friends need a wee bit of cheering up.

    Have a great weekend.

    Graeme xxx

  • Hi Berwick, hope things are improving we have missed our daily jokes - and you.

    Lib x

  • Hi Lib,

    It's still bloody hot here but with the windows open there is a nice breeze coming in which is nice.. Hopefully they will start up on Monday so get your laughing gear on.

    Have a great weekend Lib

    Berwick xx

  • I am glad you are on the mend. x

  • Toci, When I wake up in the morning I am breathing I am laughing, if I dont wake up I will not know a dam thing about it.

    See the doc again on Monday.x

    Berwick xx

  • Nice one Graeme,a happy start to the weekend :)

  • Thanks Jambo, a lot of friends have been deprived by my absence and I thought that it was about time they must have a little taster and that will put a smile and laughter on their faces even though I hate and cannot stand this dam weather. They shouldn't have brought Eric Morecambe back to sing Give me sunshine.

    Take care and have a great weekend


  • Ha ha,I for one look forward to your daily dose of humour.and you Graeme,have a good un :)

  • Thanks Jambo1958, health, weather and doctor dependant I should have you all laughing by Monday. Do not drink hot tea or coffee whilst reading them. Computer do not like hot liquids sprayed at them

    Have a great weekend.


  • I agree with you, Berwick, the hot weather is trying and it is set to get hotter next week.35 degrees. We wont be needing an oven to cook in.- I appreciated your jokes today, and hope you are better, love annieseed xx

  • thank you annieseed,chilling out all weekend plenty oxygen in the house and. fingers crossed for mon day with my gp cannot fob hher off again. have a great weekend berwick xx

  • Chuckles!!!!big smiles and big thanks for cheering us all up! stay cool Graeme! :D XXX

  • Thank you only a small one today didn't want to over exercise you lungs by laughing too much.


  • Hi Graeme, and so glad you're feeling up to this today :) Still laughing my head off at this one:

    Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,

    the good fortune to remember the ones I do,

    and the eyesight to tell the difference.

    Thank you, my friend, for getting my chuckles going, but please remember to take care of yourself first :) :) :)

    Sandra x x x

  • Hi Sandra,

    Glad you liked them. After the week this sight has had a bit of laughter injected into it takes it along way.

    Just gave you a small taster of what you may or may not get on Monday

    Have a great weekend

    I will do my best for you all.

    Doc first on Monday and after that we will see.

    Love graeme xx

  • I usually read your blogs at night, I use the laugh as exercise before bed :D Glad you feeling better & able to join us,



  • Thanks Karen,

    Another couple of days and hopefully I will cheer you all up on Monday.

    Berwick xx

  • I'm a bit late getting here today but the laugh is just as good in the afternoon, thanks....................

    Good luck for Monday Graeme.

    Take care


  • Thanks Peta ,Last Monday Doc was going to put me in Hospital, deal done steroids and antibiotics for 5 days if no change and Oxygen sat are still low on Monday my deal is OK hospital here I com.

    Thanks for the good luck.

    Graeme xx


  • I shall take note, if I can find my notepad!

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