From a strangers eyes


logged on just now (not new not a 'stranger' ie a 'newby')

trying to read it all as an outsider

What would I find .... as so often .... loads of outrage and anger

WHY? Oh WHY? do people need to respond to blogs or comments on blogs that they dislike or disagree with such a vitriolic attack

It reads very ugly .... what will new joiners looking for helpful blogs and a kind community think?

I work with youngsters, they are easily offended and quick to retaliate, and quicker still to 'gang up' on someone.

As an adult I have to try to get them to; appreciate the other persons point of view; accept that people are allowed to have views that aren't theirs (as long as not sexist/racist etc)

Accept that some people may have issues etc and that often 'ignoring' irritating people is the best way of dealing with them.

If teenagers can be expected to do it than surely adults can.

This is public forum, not a private party. I just don't get it why there is so often so much outrage sloshing about

If people on this site are pretending to be someone or something they aren't..... SO WHAT?....

Who knows ... I may be entirely fictional ....

I may be male, female, old, young or a spaniel with typing skills and a better than average vocabulary for a dog

Yr friendly springer

Izzy (slobber)

btw. personally, as a springer I think slobber is good, a sign of affection, and with kindly intent. ( although not always well received, but please don't beat me!)

Perhaps humans should be quicker to dribble and slower to be offended ............ 'woof'

35 Replies

  • I know you are not brand new on here but as long as people can REALLY understand what you say, it does make sense. I support what you say, but others won't I'm afraid.

    Lynne xx

  • Thanks Lynne

  • Lynne 1955 - take on board what you say. I found izzwizz's message strange. Me being honest and hoping I wont offend.

  • Hi Annie

    Absolutely not offended ..... 'strange' comes in as a compliment in my work place!!

    I did get a little eccentric at the end of the blog, trying to leaven a maybe hard message with a bit of humour .... may have not caught your 'funny bone'

    no offense intended or I hope taken


  • Certainly none taken, izz. It pays to tread carefully nowadays. I am easy come easy go!! Its them others. Whoops, nearly knocked my vino over. I have a glass each evening. Us oldies need a little comfort.

  • Izzwhizz, yes I am an adult, however I am a housebound adult who very rarely sees a real person, much less talk to one. The oxygen man comes once a fortnight and the Tesco delivery once a week.

    This forum gave me the pretence of a normal life with friends who cared. I am more sensitive than I used to be and take comments to heart more than I would were I 'normal'. So unless you walk in my shoes, see with my eyes and feel how I feel, please don't tell me how to respond to what can be construed as inflammatory remarks. I no longer have the pleasure to walk away.

  • Hi Always

    I really feel for you ,and know that I will be where you are in a few years, (Im moderate now .. but that's just for now I know). I think this site is a godsend to the housebound and I'm sure .... if it exists in a few years time, I will use it as you do.

    In a normal life we (if we are lucky) have friends that care, we also have bloody annoying acquaintances that we ignore.

    I know that this forum is a life saving social contact for the house bound (and did make this point on a comment some while back).

    I do think however that this can be both a forum for people who care for each other and a forum for anyone and everyone, including the difficult and disruptive ( they are always in our environment, work, family and online). Its how we deal with them that matters, they will always be there anyway.... and they have a right to speak their bit too.

    My point is that we have to put on a 'public face' here as it's like talking on national TV, anyone can listen in, and since this place has one main function we need not to discourage anyone from joining.... or feeling comfortable (which I think some blog lines would not do)

    No disrespect meant here, I just feel it gets too emotional and personal at times

    I wish you all the best


  • this is a public forum, we have to let ANYONE say what they want,(and report sexist/racist comments), just because we don't like it, does not mean they can't say it.

    Taken from your reply - I am exercising my right to say what I want.

    No offence intended - Alwayssmiling

  • Absolutely Annie

    Of course you can say anything, my comments were not at any point intended to suggest that you did/do not have the right to your opinion/s, that's what democracy is about, the right to opinion and the right to reply.

    The worst we can do is to stop thinking or caring about ideas or sharing them

    There was nothing at all in your comment that I would have an issue with, as they say

    To quote ............

    ''I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it''..... Voltaire

    Tho there was nothing in yr comment I much disagreed with, it a case of perspective I think


  • Although I am sitting opposite my husband, I have always been conscious of people living on their own. I have never forgotten my mother in law, Nan, who was so lonely. We did all we could for her, but we so lived far away. In my eyes, alwayssmiling, you just as normal as the next person. Be good to yourself and realise this, love Annieseed xx

  • Annie, love you to pieces. I live with my hubby but he spends all his time in the garage smoking and playing on his IPad, except when he's making fun of me falling out of bed. He works from 8.00 to 5.30 so Mon to Fri it is as if I am alone. Weekends I occasionally get to the caravan where I see a very few friends. The housebound bit is true as it is dangerous for me to walk anywhere without someone with me,

    Thanks for thinking I am normal it means a lot - X :)

  • Of course you are normal, you just have problems, AS, which you can share with us. The men do seem to like Ipads. Brian has one which has been a boon for him, but least he stays in the same room. We play scrabble on it.

    Always smiling, when You feel really down, do PM me and have a jaw!

    Love annieseed x

  • Hi izzwhizz, in your job what do you do with the child that continually causes trouble when everything is running smoothly, but they feel they are not getting enough attention? As I keep saying, the forum was running along fine with the odd hiccup until a short while ago. In the past few weeks there are 8 or 9 regular members who do not post anymore, which is a shame and a lot more who post far less. There is one reason and one reason alone.

  • Sorry Izzy, but you're flogging a dead horse I fear. I've tried a few times to get the message across in a couple of blogs, but as in life in the real world the message doesn't get through to those who should be hearing it, generally because 'it's different for them'. There have been quite a few times I've held back on what I really think about some of the comments because I'm not going to add fuel to a well-stoked fire.

  • Hi Carrie


    I entirely see your point

    It is (I hope), not so much fuel, as a well water soaked dish cloth,

    I know where you are coming from re 'message doesn't get thro', I've taken this tack a few times and those who might feel it applies to them almost never reply.

    But I persist ..... never give in,

    'Persistent, Consistent and Insistent' being one of my work place 'motto s'


  • Good comment CarrieMe. Xx

  • Hi


    I/we ignore them....because that's what attention seekers want, it doesn't matter whether the attention is positive or negative, if they get some then they will be happy and will repeat the behaviour that resulted in the attention.

    Since this is a 'verbal' forum only then this is even easier to do, (as it is less difficult to 'ignore ' the teenager who has just thrown a chair across the room,) at work we run the 'sticks and stones' rule with 'verbals'. Those that try to manipulate or verbally abuse are ignored, if they get a response, even if its a complete onslaught of every one shouting at them then we know they have been rewarded and will do it again.

    As I said in another reply, this is a public forum, we have to let anyone say what they want,(and report sexist/racist comments), just because we don't like it, does not mean they can't say it.

    If we don't like it we should ignore it, because abuse/upset does not stop people saying what they want to say, it encourages them.

    Best wishes


  • agree

  • well said

  • Thanks you slade (love the name)

  • Its part of the name of the town I was born in.

    But I am also a fan of the group Slade, showing my age now............

  • I saw them as a local band. Noddy and Dave went to school with my brothers. Loved them as Ambrose Slade and the name they were before but I cant remember it.

    So your town, is it local to e?

    Lynne xx

  • I'm from South East London

  • Me too

    Noddy Holder!! .... you don't see hair cuts like that theses days


    I feel a hair cut blog coming on


  • Hi Izy

    It has been very unpleasant here at times and it is very sad some people may be put off joining or blogging here. I think toonamp said it all about the situation in the Upset blog and Carrieme as her above comment.

    There should be no room for verbal attacks on people in a support environment, people don't need that in their life. No one should be on the receiving end of it, people don't need or want to be seeing that sort of garbage posted in the place they come for support. It is very offputting to say the least.

    Thanks for your blog Izy, its always refreshing to get a new take on things.

    PS that is one clever springer you have there ;)

  • Thanks Blakey

    I have two of them, both completely literate of course, and both, sadly, bonkers.

    My alter egos I suspect, tho' I'm less adept at jumping over fences and chasing rabbits


  • Oh dear.

  • Yes, oh dear, oh dear. Why do forum members put blogs on that they know will cause trouble, dosn't make sense to me.

    Lib x

  • By why should this cause trouble if people speak with respect toward each other?

  • I have always found everyone on this site to be extremely helpful, kind and caring, I have never seen a nasty comment from anyone.

    I am a carer, so perhaps this is not the site I should be on, but my husband has COPD and I have a lot of problems with him and people on this site with similar or the same problems are always on hand to give me advice and I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate it.

  • One of the problems with blogs, is that you can't see the intent of the writer. On a phone call you can hear the mood of the other person by the tone of their voice. On a blog unless you want to fill it with smily faces or what ever it can be hard to recognise the tongue in cheek comments, sarcasm, laughter etc. I just read them, if I feel they are offfensive, I just dismiss them. If I have something to say, I try to say it but it is remembering that the readers can't hear my voice or see my facial expressions and so don't know that I am "aving a Larff".

  • I think one of the problems here CornishBrian is people trying to read into things that are not there.

    People don't always have a hidden agenda when posting comments, they are just sharing their views, sometimes these are not the same as another's view, that's ok, nothing wrong with that.

    But as you say we can't see facial expressions or hear tones of voice, we can only communicate in words so those words do need to be communicated in the best way we can so as to try and not be misunderstood.

    For instance when someone calls another a silly idiot without a smiley tagged on the end, it could be offensive or not depending how well we know a person, but it could also be offensive even with that smiley tagged on, it really depends if the 'aving a Larff' was intended as kindred humour or to put another down and this is the sort of thing that does have an impact of peoples experience using the site.

  • I do not have the slightest idea of how to add a smiley face, a frowning face or a face of any sort. If I was interested in that, I would no doubt investigate this but until then, I carry on as is usual in my own sweet way.

    If I upset someone, I am sorry and I would apologise, maybe try to explain what I was trying to say in my own little ham fisted way.

    The English language has some real little quirks all of is own and as I said before it is open to different interpretations. There is a big difference between "Fat little pig" and "Little fat pig"....and before any one starts, I am not trying to upset anyone ( Smiley Face).

    If some one upsets me, I will either try to quickly sort it out or shrug it off,,,,I would not allow it to rule my life. If it was a continuing problem, report it or ignore it.

  • I guess we are talking at cross purposes, nuff said

  • Well said Izzy. I'm afraid there'll always some who'll read, add their own agenda and twist what others say or in this instance write.

    I find it quite shocking and sad to see an individual being bullied in any walk of life. You're right, whatever anyones views, they're entitled to them.

You may also like...