Father's Day Special Laughter

Only when you thought it could not get any worse.

Happy Father's Day to all those with lung conditions and those who are carers of their loved ones.

Thank you, friend Jesus,

for my father who loves me,

for my grandfather who cares for me,

and for God, your father and mine,

who made me and is always with me.

How lucky I am!

F" aithful.

"A" lways there.

"T" rustworthy.

"H" onoring.

"E" ver-loving.

"R" ighteous.

"S" upportive.

You never said I'm leaving

You never said goodbye

You were gone before I knew it,

And only God knew why

A million times I needed you,

A million times I cried

If Love alone could have saved you,

You never would have died

In Life I loved you dearly

In death I love you still

In my heart you hold a place,

That no one could ever fill

It broke my heart to lose you,

But you didn't go alone

For part of me went with you,

The day God took you home.

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Fathers day means more

than have a happy day

It means i love you first of all

Then thanks for all you do

It means you mean a lot to me

and that I honor you.

Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped set the table when guests were due for dinner. Presently everything was on, the guest came in, and everyone sat down. Then Mother noticed something was missing.

"Susan," she said, "You didn't put a knife and fork at Mr. Smith's place."

"I thought he wouldn't need them," explained Susan.

"Daddy says he always eats like a horse!"

Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?

Voice: This is my father.

Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.

“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.

After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.

A small boy was at the zoo with his father. They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.

“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”

“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.

“ …Which bus would I take home?”

Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?

Science student: When my father sees my report card!

Joe: What does your father do for a living?

Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.

Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”

“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”

A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”

“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.

“I work for 7 Up!”

Pee Wee: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?

Westy: Beats me.

Pee Wee: A POPsicle!

Dan: I made a bad mistake today and gave my dad some soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.

Jan: Was he mad?

Dan: Yup. He was foaming at the mouth!

acob: I have a lot of my dad’s genes.

Dave: Really? I bet they don’t fit.

One evening a little girl and her parents were sitting around the table eating supper. The little girl said, "Daddy, you're the boss, aren't you?" Her Daddy smiled, pleased, and said yes. The little girl continued, "That's because Mommy put you in charge, right?"

What did the father ghost say to the naughty baby ghost?Spook when you're spooken to!

Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks?In case they get a hole in one!

Dad thinks he wears the trousers in our house, but it's always Mom who tells him which pair to put on!

Do dads always snore? No, only when they are asleep!

Daddy, daddy, can I have another glass of water?Dad: But I've already given you ten!I know, but the bedroom is still on fire!

That's it my friends

have a great Father's Day

and

Breath Easy

19 Replies

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  • My Dad died on 21 March in 2009 and I really miss him. He was always telling me that I was wonderful - he was deluded I think but it's nice to be told that you're wonderful.

    When I was small I used to wait for him coming home - he always whistled when he got to the gate to let us kids and Mum know that he was home.

    He made my childhood wonderful - he (and my Mum) sorted all my problems out.

    Annec

  • Pepsicoley

    I too had super parents. I felt loved every day they were on earth and I miss them all the time. And Pepsi, dad was right, you are wonderful.

    Lots of love from Bobby xxxx

  • I can't bear Fathers Day since I lost my dad in Dec 08. Makes me feel really sad :(

    Bev x

  • Bev,

    You should never feel sad, on Father's day always think of the fond memories of the laughter and joy you both had. I lost my father a good few years back but I still can laugh at the thing he used to do and I am 62 and yes I still miss dad. xx

    Berwick.

  • Me and my dad used to go to watch Man United at Old Trafford for years Berwick. But my memories are sullied by the last couple of years of his life and his funeral both involving other members of my family. So at the moment I can only feel sad.. And some of it is guilt too.

    Bev x

  • Ooh you gave me a scare lol! Fathers day is September 1 here in oz.Thought I'd lost track of time for a minute lol! I know time is going quickly, but not that fast!

    Enjoyed the jokes,as usual, have a great Fathers day,& to any other Dad reading!

    Love Wendells xxx

  • One year, I had two Mothers Day within a short time. I took my son to the US!!

  • Wonderful Berwick! I enjoyed your tribute to all Dads!, the prayer was lovely and the jokes great! thank you so much! my Dad would have enjoyed them as well :D xxx hufferp. xxx

  • Great jokes Berwick. They all brought a smile to my face:-))

  • Just had a Fathers Day text from army son. (in Kenya at the moment) It reads: Happy Fathers Day you old git. May you have many of them. Love Jon xx.

    He's a cheeky urchin, I'm not old.

    Bobby xxx

  • Well Bobby,

    You brought your son up to be honest and truthfull, he cannot tell a lie and children always tells the truch, therefore bobby you must be

    an old git

    Have a great day

    You old git

    Berwick

  • Thanks for that Berwick, it's nice to be loved. That's not a problem, I have a huge box of choccys. Scrobbity will be round in a minute. lol

    regards, Bobby

  • Boo - stalker Scrobbs reporting for duty xx

  • It took you 9 minutes. You losing your touch?

    xxxxx

  • Yes and my grip of your chocolate apparently :D

  • I am worried. My son sent me a text saying 'Happy Father's Day'. Should I be insulted or happy that my role is dual purpose?

    Funnies were funny, thanks Berwick x

  • Scrobbitty,

    You should be very happy it is a great sign how much he loves you

    It sends a very clear message who wears the trousers in your house

    Have a great day.

    Berwick xxxx

  • My own dad died nearly 37 years ago and Pete's dad died nearly 22 years ago but it is nice for Pete to have Father's day with our three and our grandson. They should all be round very soon so that will be lovely.

    Happy Father's Day to dads everywhere. Thanks for the blog berwick. Take care all. xxxxxx :)

  • Lovely thank you xx

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