British Lung Foundation
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Daily Smile, hope that it does not offend

A fart is a pleasant thing,

It gives the belly ease,

It warms the bed in winter,

And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,

A fart can be loud,

Some leave a powerful,

Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short,

Or a fart can be long,

Some farts have been known

To sound like a song.....

A fart can create

A most curious medley,

A fart can be harmless,

Or silent, and deadly.

A fart might not smell,

While others are vile,

A fart may pass quickly,

Or linger a while......

A fart can occur

In a number of places,

And leave everyone there,

With strange looks on their faces .

From wide-open prairie,

To a small elevator,

A fart will find all of

Us sooner or later.

But farts are all bad,

Is simply not true-

We must never forget.......

Sweet old farts like you!

Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?

Why not send this on to other old farts and bring a smile...or....tear to them!

20 Replies

Loved it and oh how true I know a couple of old farts I shall be sending this to .Thanks for the laughter


Excellent ..give me some peanuts!!!


I'm just grateful for once to have a cat to blaim :)


You should try peppermint oil tablets - they work wonders !!


Super put it straight on f/book.


Brilliant :D


My nan used to say.

Let your wind blow free

Where ayre you may be

In church or chapel

Let it rattle

When we used to go for a walk we always had to walk in front of her.

polly xx


I take that your gren was a canny scot, Polly?xx


Nearly, a Geordie

Gonna upset the scots now, sorry. :-) :-)

polly xx


nae lass, borders mean nothing when it comes to common sense LOL x x


LOL! xxx


What a brilliant poem haha

When my dog farts he lowers his front legs and rests his head on them sticking his bum right up in the air. Then he lets out a fairly noisy and INCREDIBLY STINKY fart. It's funny to see but good grief not good to smell!

koala x


Can just picture it. I had a dog who used to get embarrassed when she did it. She'd disappear into the next room if she could before it happened, or afterwards leaving the traces behind, and we had to be prepared for anything each time we followed her into the spare room.

Gina x


My wife informs me that she never does that sort of thing. It must be the goldfish then 'cos it ain't me.



Well did you not realise when you see bubbles in the goldfish bowl it is really farting. LOL.


oooo areeee! I larf when I farts un I farts when I larfs!!! my Mum used to say lol! :D


Where 'er yee be let the wind blow free

for the holding of the wind was the death of me




Brilliant poem! The stuff of Poet Laureates.

Gina x


Great thank you - my Grandma always said 'nothing causes so much laughter than a fart' and I'd add 'and poems about farts' - great thanks


When I eats beans I farts an when I farts I Larfs and when I larfs I shites myself 'phuffesss' er I goes again.


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