Why is it always me.??????.....Hee HEE - British Lung Foun...

British Lung Foundation

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Why is it always me.??????.....Hee HEE

KingoftheCocktails
KingoftheCocktails

........................................................Why is it always me?

I took my goldfish to the vet

''I think it's got the shakes'' I told the vet

The vet takes a look and told me '' It looks good to me.''

I told him''I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet''

****************************************************************

I saw a letter lying on my doormat

It said on the enveloppe ''DO NOT BEND''

I spent the next two hours trying to figure out how to pick

the bloody thing up.

****************************************************************

I shouted frantically into the phone''My wife is pregnant

and her contractions are only two minutes apart!''

The Doctor asked ''Is this her first child''

NO ''I shouted ''This is her husband''

****************************************************************

When my dog went missing I was inconsolable.

My wife said ''Why don't you put an advert in the paper?''

I did,but two weeks later the dog was still missing.

''What did you put in the paper?'' my wife asked.

I said''Here boy''

****************************************************************

When my brother was in jail the Guard looks in his cell

and sees him hanging by his feet.

''What the hell are you doing?'' he asked

''Hanging myself''

''It should be around your kneck'' said the Guard

''I know'' said my brother''but I couldn't breathe''

***************************************************************

An answer I can understand.

An American tourist asked me

''Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?''

What an idiot tourist! Really,surely we all know if they fell forwards,

they'd still be on the bloody boat.

***************************************************************

And you all thought I was stupid ! Didn't you?

Richard

BREATHE EASY=FRIENDSHIP

Don't be inconsolable,just don't forget to go to Breathe Easy

Join on the day or phone03000 030 555 MOn - Fri 10am 6pm for Details about Breathe Easy and the British Lung Foundation

49 Replies
oldestnewest

YES I WAS IRONING MY CURTAINS AND FELL OUT OF THE WINDOW

I hope the curtains survived!

Hidden
Hidden

Made me laugh king, thanks for posting

KingoftheCocktails
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden

My pleasure

As usual Richard, loved it. Well done!

Bobby

We've got to make the world a happier place

You certainly do your best Richard. There aren't many who try harder.

Hidden
Hidden

Made me laugh again. loved it thanks xx x xx Julie

KingoftheCocktails
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden

I'll keep you laughing if I can

Hidden
Hidden

Cheered me up loads.cheers :)

KingoftheCocktails
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden

And cheers for that comment

Hidden
Hidden

A laugh on a dull day, King!!!

KingoftheCocktails
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden

I try to keep you laughing

Hidden
Hidden

Well as if by magic you appear and make me laugh, xx you spoiled us tonight with so many

The one about the letter and the one with the lost dog were my favorites

:D Anna

KingoftheCocktails
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden

A magician Eh? sounds good

Hidden
Hidden

Thanks Kingy, always out to make us smile :) x x x

KingoftheCocktails
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden

A daily tonic just for you

Hidden
Hidden

Man on phone to doc made me splutter my tea. I can't read anymore. Running short of oxy masks!!!! :d

Thanks Tina x

KingoftheCocktails
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden

A pregnant pause

Why is it you - because if it wasn't you, it would be me :)

It's just me,just me!

Hidden
Hidden

Smiling as always,after my brekky read! x

KingoftheCocktails
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden

A ready breck smile

Thank you King :-) Alison

I like keeping you happy

Hidden
Hidden

Now on top of everything else I am coughing and choking with laughter, :) keep it up king xx

KingoftheCocktails
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden

I don't want to choke you,but I will keep them coming

Love it keep'em coming.

They're on their way

As always, bringing on the smiles. :-) :-)

polly xx

Putting on the laughing, putting on the smiles that is what I like to do

Up to standard as usual KOTC, very funny.

Lib x

I will try not to let slip

Excellent as ever Richard and the sun is shining here! Uh oh, spoke too soon, clouding up now. Thanks for the laughter. xxxxx :)

It has been hissing down in Nottingham,but I'm still smiling

Good laugh King, I always look forward to your blogs, keep them coming, it brightens hubby and my day.

jan

I'll try to keep you both amused

Hidden
Hidden

Smiling!! xxx

KingoftheCocktails
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden

When you're smilng

Hidden
Hidden in reply to KingoftheCocktails

The whole world smiles with you

laughter the best medicine - thank you xx

Your daily tonic!

Hidden
Hidden in reply to undine

When your laughing

When your laughing

The sun comes shining through

Laughed so much I coughed for a 1/2 an hour but it was worth it.

Cleared them lungs Eh?

Hidden
Hidden

Nice one King ha ha xx

KingoftheCocktails
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden

Thank you.Hee HEE

Thanks king, for all the smiles and laughs you bring...;-)

You enjoy,I'll keep blogging

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