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True medical stories...just for you HealthUnlockders..........KOTC

KingoftheCocktails profile image

.......................................We never get what we want

........................................We never want what we get

........................................We never have what we like

........................................We never like what we have

...........................................And still we live and love

..................................................That's life........

I digress

****************************************************************************************

.............................................True medical stories

1.A man dashed into A&E dept,and yelled....''My wife's going to have her baby in the taxi''.

The Doctor grabbed his stuff,rushed out to the taxi,lifted the ladie's dress and began to

take of her underwear.Suddenly,after protests from the lady,he noticed that there were

several taxis .....

2 At the beginning of his shift,the Doctor placed his stethoscope on an elderly slightly deaf

female patient's anterior chest wall.''Big breaths,''he instrucred.

''Yes they used to be replied the patient''...replied the patient.............

3 One day the Doctor had to be the bearer of bad news

when he told a wife that her husband had died of a mssive myocardial infarct.

Not more than five minutes later he heard her on her mobile phone

reporting to the rest of the familly that he had died of a 'massive internal fart'.........

4 During a patients two week follow up appointment,he told the Doctor that he was having

trouble with one of his medications.''Which one?'' the doctor asked

''The patch;the nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out

of places to put it ! ''The doctor had him quickly undress and discovered what he hoped he wouldn't see.Yes,the man had over fifty tiny patches on his body!

Now the instructions includes removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Richard

KOTC

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KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails
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42 Replies
azaard profile image
azaard

You off again, lol :)

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to azaard

Re trial!

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to KingoftheCocktails

I plead insanity, yer honour its was ducks at the bottom of the garden that did it.

Cough, splutter, shlurp.... four for the price of one! ROFLOL ..... needed that! Thanks Kingy x x :)

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to

Value for money!

in reply to KingoftheCocktails

I like your BOGOFS

I'll shop here more often :) x x

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to

The offer is on going

mogli712 profile image
mogli712

Must admire the ingenuity of finding an area for fifty patches :-)

I have adjusted my expectations that I am happier with what I have than at any time trying for the extras that could be in a strange way I have learned what is most important through my illness.

Smiling is one important thing that we often had little time for in busy lives we can make up that time now :-)

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to mogli712

Always make time for a laugh

libby7827 profile image
libby7827

Back with a bang Richard!

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to libby7827

Plenty of fodder in this cannon

Lol - needed a laugh - thanks for four :)

Anna

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to

FOUR ever and ever

scrobbitty profile image
scrobbitty

Love them and have learnt lesson - no coffee ! :)

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to scrobbitty

Has beans!

Not left a comment before .... just read smiled..... and read on

However massive respects for apparently rising above all this stuff recently .... and taking on issues ... well done

Respectfully yours

Izzy

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

What stuff you on about Izzy there's been alot lately ?

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to azaard

Chocolate cup cakes and things

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to

ME I just keep plodding along

dall05 profile image
dall05

I alway's get what I want at Breathe Easy, The great feeling that Iv'e done something to help myself.

What truely amaizies me is even though were all pretty ill, everybody's happy and humur is in abundance.

'Big Breaths' was my favorite King. (Had my minds eye thing going on that one) Ha Ha.

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to dall05

Big breaths--------------thoughts for the mind

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to KingoftheCocktails

Carefull you know what happens when you do that :)

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to azaard

I am thinking from our artists point of view!

Love the 3rd one a massive internal fart,cracked me up,can't stop giggling ,xxxx

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to

capeThe pppppppppppppppppppppppp that couldn't escape

Latte profile image
Latte

Even not keeping up with the Jones'...am sure majority would agree...

That's life...reminds me of the song.. (swaying head from side to side).. Lol

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Latte

That's life ,that's what people say

James48 profile image
James48

Lol!! excellent, a good laugh to start the day!!

:)

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to James48

A laugh a day helps you do whatever you want

Dont know where you get them from but keep them coming. Joyce

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to

Here there and everywhere

Tea all over my screen again...........lol

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to

Take out some insurance on jokes baby!

niki666 profile image
niki666

O wow i was really having a down day but you have put a smile on my face and made me laugh and even the sun has peeped out great have u anymore thanks

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to niki666

Loads more to come

Please read the KOTC blog humour show

Your daily tonic

sillywitch profile image
sillywitch

Stop it now, I,ve just coughed & pee,d again :D

xxxxxx

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to sillywitch

Incontanance pants for you youg lady.Want to borrow mine??????

sillywitch profile image
sillywitch in reply to KingoftheCocktails

Please :D xxx

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to sillywitch

How many pairs.Hee HEE

sillywitch profile image
sillywitch in reply to KingoftheCocktails

3 one on one in wash n one drying :D xxx

thatcham1939 profile image
thatcham1939

Hi King we have enjoyed the medical ones, the man the patches is very good. I know from experiences man does get very mixed up with instrutions.

A man and a woman went to bed, and in the morning the husband said he had had a very bad night hot flushes ,sweating, and felt very odd a times, what had happened was the wifes H.R.T patch had tranfered to him

Jan

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to thatcham1939

That's wicked! Better than a hot water bottle!

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