True medical stories...just for you HealthUnlockders..........KOTC

.......................................We never get what we want

........................................We never want what we get

........................................We never have what we like

........................................We never like what we have

...........................................And still we live and love

..................................................That's life........

I digress

****************************************************************************************

.............................................True medical stories

1.A man dashed into A&E dept,and yelled....''My wife's going to have her baby in the taxi''.

The Doctor grabbed his stuff,rushed out to the taxi,lifted the ladie's dress and began to

take of her underwear.Suddenly,after protests from the lady,he noticed that there were

several taxis .....

2 At the beginning of his shift,the Doctor placed his stethoscope on an elderly slightly deaf

female patient's anterior chest wall.''Big breaths,''he instrucred.

''Yes they used to be replied the patient''...replied the patient.............

3 One day the Doctor had to be the bearer of bad news

when he told a wife that her husband had died of a mssive myocardial infarct.

Not more than five minutes later he heard her on her mobile phone

reporting to the rest of the familly that he had died of a 'massive internal fart'.........

4 During a patients two week follow up appointment,he told the Doctor that he was having

trouble with one of his medications.''Which one?'' the doctor asked

''The patch;the nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out

of places to put it ! ''The doctor had him quickly undress and discovered what he hoped he wouldn't see.Yes,the man had over fifty tiny patches on his body!

Now the instructions includes removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Richard

KOTC

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42 Replies

oldestnewest
  • You off again, lol :)

  • Re trial!

  • I plead insanity, yer honour its was ducks at the bottom of the garden that did it.

  • Cough, splutter, shlurp.... four for the price of one! ROFLOL ..... needed that! Thanks Kingy x x :)

  • Value for money!

  • I like your BOGOFS

    I'll shop here more often :) x x

  • The offer is on going

  • Must admire the ingenuity of finding an area for fifty patches :-)

    I have adjusted my expectations that I am happier with what I have than at any time trying for the extras that could be in a strange way I have learned what is most important through my illness.

    Smiling is one important thing that we often had little time for in busy lives we can make up that time now :-)

  • Always make time for a laugh

  • Back with a bang Richard!

  • Plenty of fodder in this cannon

  • Lol - needed a laugh - thanks for four :)

    Anna

  • FOUR ever and ever

  • Love them and have learnt lesson - no coffee ! :)

  • Has beans!

  • Not left a comment before .... just read smiled..... and read on

    However massive respects for apparently rising above all this stuff recently .... and taking on issues ... well done

    Respectfully yours

    Izzy

  • What stuff you on about Izzy there's been alot lately ?

  • Chocolate cup cakes and things

  • ME I just keep plodding along

  • I alway's get what I want at Breathe Easy, The great feeling that Iv'e done something to help myself.

    What truely amaizies me is even though were all pretty ill, everybody's happy and humur is in abundance.

    'Big Breaths' was my favorite King. (Had my minds eye thing going on that one) Ha Ha.

  • Big breaths--------------thoughts for the mind

  • Carefull you know what happens when you do that :)

  • I am thinking from our artists point of view!

  • Love the 3rd one a massive internal fart,cracked me up,can't stop giggling ,xxxx

  • capeThe pppppppppppppppppppppppp that couldn't escape

  • Even not keeping up with the Jones'...am sure majority would agree...

    That's life...reminds me of the song.. (swaying head from side to side).. Lol

  • That's life ,that's what people say

  • Lol!! excellent, a good laugh to start the day!!

    :)

  • A laugh a day helps you do whatever you want

  • Dont know where you get them from but keep them coming. Joyce

  • Here there and everywhere

  • Tea all over my screen again...........lol

  • Take out some insurance on jokes baby!

  • O wow i was really having a down day but you have put a smile on my face and made me laugh and even the sun has peeped out great have u anymore thanks

  • Loads more to come

    Please read the KOTC blog humour show

    Your daily tonic

  • Stop it now, I,ve just coughed & pee,d again :D

    xxxxxx

  • Incontanance pants for you youg lady.Want to borrow mine??????

  • Please :D xxx

  • How many pairs.Hee HEE

  • 3 one on one in wash n one drying :D xxx

  • Hi King we have enjoyed the medical ones, the man the patches is very good. I know from experiences man does get very mixed up with instrutions.

    A man and a woman went to bed, and in the morning the husband said he had had a very bad night hot flushes ,sweating, and felt very odd a times, what had happened was the wifes H.R.T patch had tranfered to him

    Jan

  • That's wicked! Better than a hot water bottle!

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