I took dog out in beautiful sunshine feeling happy and enjoying being entertained by her. She is very amusing.
Then I went to visit my mother in care home. One of the carers was talking about her neighbours (on both sides) who are on Jobseekers Allowance. She said they have all told her that they have never worked and don't want to. She is sure they all get more money than she does. I pointed out benefits aren't much but she felt annoyed she was working because she had a work ethic. She knows I can't find a job but then said there are lots of jobs out there. (There isn't for any type of job even the most menial). I found myself going through the usual I can't do physical work because of my health and need sit down work. She wasn't moved. And I found myself thinking why the hell do I feel I have to keep justifying myself to others because of their prejudices?
I then went to the pub to watch my team Man Utd being beaten by Chelsea listening to an Tory idiot justifying cutting benefits to the sick and disabled because he said around 10 pc of those are swinging the lead. He claimed it was ok because of that.
I then had to listen to him and a very ex boyfriend spitting vile at the number of black people in London. They claimed only 10 pc of Londoners are now white. Which is complete rubbish. My ex then started making little jokes about me to him and any others who would listen. I got sick of it so left my stool (with my coat on) at the bar and moved to a table to watch the match in peace. The ex then chucked my coat at me and it landed on the floor. For the second time that day I wondered what I had done to deserve dreadful people like that around me. I decided that I didn't deserve it and would rather be on my own than suffer that.
I am fed up with everything and everyone and wish that all these awful people would just go away.
So heres to lonliness...