It's over

I Wouldlike to thank you all for the advice and support you gave me re my dads illness with pulmonary fibrosis, yesterday he died and I am devastated, he suffered greatly the last 2 days and it was a relief to see him at peace, my sister and I sat with him day and night for the last 3 nights, all the family have been visiting him and I only hope he could hear all the funny stories that were being reminisced, at times it mut have sounded like a party going on in that room, there were laughter and tears.

The staff were wonderful, I cannot praise them enough, they tried to keep him as comfortable as possible, but he was in such pain, it is not right to let someone suffer like this, he was on the highest dose of morphine etc..that they are legally able to give him, we wouldn't let a dog suffer but we let humans!!

Now we need to get my mum through this tough time, she collapsed at the hospital 2 days ago with Angina pains, they kept her under observation for a day and changed her meds, my dad was devoted to my mum and the day before he died he told her she was still the most beautiful girl in the world and that he would always love her, they had a wonderful life together for over 60 years, not many get to be so lucky.

49 Replies

  • So sorry to hear your news. Your poor mum having to cope with her own health problems too. It was good to hear that the staff were so supportive. You sound like a lovely family.

  • My sympathy goes out to you, and your family at this sad time

    Regards jan

  • Deapest sympathy to you and your family. I am sure you will be a wonderful support to your mum.

  • I'm so sorry for your loss, please accept my deepest sympathy, how wonderful he had such a devoted family.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers at this very sad time.

    Kim xxxxx

  • At 70 not many things bring tears to my eyes but your story did. Thankfully, your dad is out of his pain which must be a relief for you. Mum is the one who needs your love and understanding now. My thoughts will be with you today. Please don't neglect looking after yourself, you have a life to live too. Much love and understanding, Bobby xxxx

  • Sorry to hear about your dad but at least now he is not suffering. as has been said, look after your mum now who will need you to be there for her.

  • So very sad to hear of your loss and to have to watch him in such pain - thank god he is at peace now. You will have a big job in front of your looking after your Mum and loving her. As Phillips1 said - don't forget to look after yourself. With much love, kind thoughts and sympathy, TAD xxx

  • Hi Deb16, I'm so sorry for your loss and what your dad had to go through in front of you all it must have been soul destroying especially for your Mum watching the Love of her life go like this, Please look after her as Im sure your family will, you are all in my prayers,mattcass

  • May I extend my deepest, heartfelt sympathy to you and your family at this sad time. Sincere condolences. Sandra x x

  • My deepest sympathy at this saddest of sad times.

    Sincere condolences,


  • I am so sorry to hear your news, it is such a difficult time for you all. You will be in my thoughts.

    How moving to read of your parents loving devotion to each other after all those years.

    Lynne xx

  • My sympathy to you and your family, your story sent shivers down my spine when I read it, what a lovely family your dad has and now he is at peace, you are in my thoughts.

    polly xx

  • I was so impressed with your account of your Dad's last moments. A 60 year old marriage has to be a treasured thing. Your Dad is now at peace. My thoughts go to your Mum. May I wish her all the best, and to be proud that she had such a wonderful marriage, And a loving family, too.

  • Dear Deb, so sorry for your loss, I am sure you all being by your Dad's side during his last days, will have meant so much to him and I feel sure he would have felt comforted to know you were all there at the time of his passing.

    That was such a special message your Dad gave to your Mum and so special you all shared such fond memories together as a family.

    My thoughts go out to you, your sister and your Mum at this time. Keeping you all in my thoughts.

    Virtual hugs for you all.


  • I am so sorry to hear about your Dad Debs my love and condolences to your Mum and the rest of the family. Your Dad was surrounded by love when he died and this is what you need to remember and to continue that love will be his inheritance to you and yours xxx


  • Deb I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been heartbreaking to watch your dad in so much pain. At least he as at peace now. I am sure you will support your mum through the next few days but please look after you too

    Val xx

  • My thoughts and prayer are with you and your family at this sad time !! Take care ! Jane xx

  • My deepest sympathy to you and your family. Make sure you all look after yourselves as well as mum.

    Hugs Tina x

  • My heart thoughts and prayers go out to to you at this sad time. I lost my lovely Dad last year (he passed away in Chester hospital ) it is heartbreaking to lose a much loved parent. Keep hold of those precious memories you have of him they are like gold dust I hope your mum is o k please take care of yourself, you will be going through a rollercoaster of emotions in the next few months, God bless Julie xxxxxx

  • Debs - you have my sympathy. My father in law was in a similar situation, now my husband has extensive PF too, we are hoping Hospice at Home will be possible.

  • My deepest sympathy to you and your family.

  • Warm thoughts and hugs to you all x

  • My deepest sympathy,& love,to you,& the family.What a wonderful daughter,you were to your Dad,he must have been very proud of you.Your Mum,must be so proud of you too,she will need your support,but as someone else said,do look after yourself as well,as you will have a lot on your shoulders dear.You both will have so many precious memories,

    Big hugs,Love Wendells xxx

  • I am so very sorry for your loss & I,m sure your Dad heard all of the stories & felt the love surrounding him, I know how devastating it is watching a loved one suffer like that at the end, but I,m sure you will gradually replace those memories with the ones you shared during his last days,

    I send my love to you, your Mum & the rest of your family at this difficult time & you will be in my prayers

    Karen xxxxxx

  • Thoughts and prayers are with you deb 16 xx

  • Debs ....Please accept my most sincere condolences and deepest sympathy on your recent loss.

    This short poem has kept me going for the past eight years since my own father died and I hope it will be of comfort to you in the coming weeks and months ((((((((hugs))))))))

    You can shed tears that he is gone,

    Or you can smile because he lived,

    You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,

    Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

    Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him

    Or you can be full of the love that you shared,

    You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

    Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

    You can remember him and only that he is gone

    Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,

    You can cry and close your mind be empty and

    turn your back,

    Or you can do what he would want:

    smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

  • H elian what a lovely poem I have lost my husband sister in law and my mum and 3 very good friends in the last 2 years but i often think of the good times but at times i wish i could turn the clock back, but as time goes on we all have memories but it takes a long time to get over i hope Debs and her family reads your poem because it says all yvonne

  • I'm glad you like it niki :) I read it out at my own father's funeral, for my daughters' sakes. That was 8 years ago now, but it still feels like yesterday.

    You were particularly hard hit with so many deaths of family/friends in such a short time and and I'm happy that you may have found some comfort in the words, as I did, and I hope Debs will too :)

    Keep on keeping on .....


  • than k u so much for replying but the weather must get better and make us more cheerful and it might make us all feel a lot happier and smile and laugh at times and feel better in ourselves BHut your poem was great thanks soooo much yvonne

  • So sorry to hear about your Dad.

    Liz x

  • Thinking of you at this sad time thoughts and prayers are with all your family

  • My thoughts are with you & your family. I hope the sadness you have all experienced over the last days will soon be replaced with the happy memories of better times you all shared. Your Dad must have felt comforted to know he was surrounded by such a loving family. Take great care. X

  • My heart goes out to you, these sad times are never easy take care

  • So really sorry about your Dad, thought are with you your mum and sister. xx

  • I extend my deepest, heartfelt sympathy to you and your family at this sad time.

  • May your dad be at peace in Heaven.

  • My very best thoughts go out to you and all your nearest and dearest.

  • God love him deb, such a sad time, thoughts, hugs to you x x

  • So sorry to learn of your loss,my deepest condolences x

  • So sad for you. He was blessed to be so well loved and with his family at the couldn't ask for more at the end of life. take care of you and your Mum .... she'll need it in the weeks from now through the grieving process as you'll know. Have a smile at least once a day :)) x

  • My deepest sympathy to you, your mum, and the whole of your family. It is never easy to watch someone you love suffer. I watched my mum suffer for two weeks, and we, too, prayed for it to end.

    Your pain will ease slowly, but your love will never die.

    My sincerest condolences.

  • So sorry to hear, my thoughts are with you and your family. Adrian

  • My deepest condolences and prayers for you and your family, (((( hugs))) Carol

  • My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Look after your'e mum and yourself.xxxx

  • Deapest sympathy to you and your family. I am sure you will be a wonderful support to your mum.

  • Thank you all, it is really nice to read all of your words of support, I appreciate them all, the hurt that I feel is immense, but I do have lots of happy memories, my dad loved to tell jokes, he was a funny man, and we talk about him all the time and laugh and cry.

  • I am very sad for you Deb, but glad you can talk about your dad. Mine died when I was just a child, and like you the last time I saw him he was in great distress (respiratory failure). But his name was hardly mentioned afterwards, it was like he'd never existed (things were different then) whereas we all know now that talking, crying and laughing at memories is definitely the best way of grieving, and keeps the person by your side.

    In time, all the lovely memories down the years will shut out the horror of the last few days. What a lovely man he sounds.

    My love to you

    ff x

  • *In your loss be proud to be the daughter of such lovig parents. May their example sustain you over the next few weeks and months. X X

  • *In your loss be proud to be the daughter of such loving parents. May their example sustain you over the next few weeks and months. X X

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