Cant control my bladder

[Chloe024]

Hello, I find it really hard to control my bladder and every day I have an accident big or small, I'm 21 now and have been like this my whole life and I've been to doctors and hospitals but in the end just get fobbed off. I've learnt to just live with it now but surely there is something I can do which the doctors dont say.. it effects my every day lifes and my relationship as I wee the bed really often, anyone else this way or know anything that might be a cure ?

[Shoeysmum]

Ask your GP to refer you to the Continence Advisory Service.

[Mary-intussuception in reply to Shoeysmum]

Should be able to self refer.

[Mary-intussuception]

Sorry to hear you've been so badly let down by the doctors and hospitals .

Have you ever seen the Continence Adviser? If not, do a Google search for your area and phone to ask for an appointment. In the UK you can make a self-referal.

You should also be able to see a Physiotherapist.

Meanwhile, do you use incontinence pads? You can buy quite small ones now in most supermarkets. They are very good. Own brand are cheapest. Better than clothes and bedding getting wet.

See if you can get a referal to a Specialist Physiotherapist through the Continence Adviser for help with Pelvic Floor exercises.

[TopCat22]

Hi Chloe 024,

Do you have “stress incontinence” (eg. leak when coughing or sneezing) or “urge incontinence” (a sudden overwhelming desperate urge to empty bladder) Apparently, so I’ve been reading. the cause for these two are a bit different. It is also possible to have a combination of those two. There are also “overflow incontinence” (chronic urinary retention: when you’re unable to fully empty the bladder which then causes frequent leaking) and “total incontinence” (bladder can’t store any urine at all).

Stress incontinence is usually due to weak or damaged muscles (pelvic floor muscles or urethral sphincter) which happens a lot to women with age (menopause) and because of damage from childbirth. My guess is, from your age, that you don’t have that. Urge incontinence is caused by overactivity of the muscles that control the bladder.

I am 52 and mainly have urge incontinence, with some stress incontinence.

I do have very weak pelvic floor muscles and had a prolapsed uterus after childbirth. Reading about it, it seems that strengthening pelvic floor muscles can help with stress incontinence and with “holding on” longer. There is a very good NHS app to help you with daily PFM exercises. It’s called “Squeezy”. It used to be free but I believe it’s now £2.99. I’d highly recommend it. Improve my takes about 3 months so you have to be patient.

An overactive bladder (urge incontinece) can be helped by bladder training. Read up about bladder training. It basically gets you to keep a diary of your fluid intake (times/quantities) and a diary of when you empty your bladder (and note when you leak or when you had a strong urge to empty your bladder only to find you didn’t pass much urine). For a few days it would also be good to note how much volume you are urinating (euw! I know! Requires weeing into a measuring jug! 🤪) which is useful information for a medical professional to know.

A bladder diary will be also useful for when you go back to the doctor if you have had no improvement. Bladder training is basically getting yourself to “hold on” a little bit longer each time, to train your bladder to wait until it is really full before going, and not emptying bladder just to be on the safe side when your bladder isn’t really full. Lockdown, for me, has been a good time to do this as I am at home and no one but family will see if I jiggle around like a toddler desperate to go to the loo, while I’m holding on that little bit longer.

I have to say though that I think because you are so young, there might well be a medical cause for your problem. Have you been like this all your life or has it got worse? Your urethral sphincter might not be functioning correctly. You might want to try self-help first. The Squeezy (pelvic floor muscle exercises) app will keep a record of your efforts. A bladder training diary will keep a record of your efforts too. If you have no improvement in 3 months I would definitely go to the GP and show them your PFM exercises record and bladder training records and they really should refer you to a specialist then.

In the meantime, you might want to get some advice from the specially trained nurses at the bladder and bowel foundation (01926 357220) [e-mail]

Don’t despair. There’s definitely things that will help you, and you’re definitely not alone