Hi I don't know if you remember me saying I was waiting for an appointment from my hospital from my consultant well I finally had that appointment today I woke up early so I would be ready for it they finally called at 9.30 and by 9.35 appointment was over completely disregarded anything I had to say saying I have been feeling is nothing to do with my heart you didn't even let me finish what I had to say how would they even know if it was or wasn't heart related the reason I'm so stressed and anxious all the time is because of having to deal with them for so long 7 years I've put up with been talk to and treated like that I honestly couldn't believe the way he spoke to me it was as if I was the dumbest person he'd ever spoken to I didn't even hear what things he had to say my mind switched off after I was completely humiliated so I have emailed requesting to be transferred to a different hospital I'm sure many people think I'm over reacting but I had a lot to say to my consultant and I was barely able to say any of it so fed up the medic system is so screwed up and broken I'm sorry but why are you classed as invisible just because your stable I have no idea why they even bothered calling me in the first place!
Why do medical professionals treat yo... - British Heart Fou...
Why do medical professionals treat you like your stupid!
I would suggest a couple of things.You may wish to contact PALS about your treatment by the consultant or write to the Chief Executive of the hospital .If you succeed in moving hospitals take someone with you to your appointment. I always do this.It is most unlikely you will be treated so casually with a friend or relative present.
Thanks for your reply I will definitely write to complain. I actually used to take a relative with me my mum and they still treated me like that which is actually the reason I started going on my own because I thought I might actually get some respect guess not I actually had this appointment today over the phone and talking to me like I was sitting in front of him and he'd actually done a thorough exam! 😭. Telling me how I'm feeling I mean are kidding me the only people who know how I'm feeling is you guys! 😞
Just feel so alone can't talk to anyone with them judging or mistreating me 💔
Don't feel like I share any information with a medical professional because they make you feel so small and worthless
Hello,
I suggest you take the path recommended by 10gingercats and also talk with your GP who has the ability to get a hospital switch.
You should also edit your post to remove specific names and hospitals as it is against community guidelines
healthunlocked.com/bhf/post...
I have dealt with a consultant of the same name who was very caring and had plenty of time for you and would not like him to be tarred with the same brush!
I'm glad you get treated with respect by him but until I do I wont retract my statement.
Ahhh I'm so sorry to hear you was treated in a similar way fancy telling you that you need an operation then the next breathe your diabetic it probably suits them for you to be diabetic the health care system is broken. Similar thing actually happend to me I had literally been discharged from hospital from being ill for 2 weeks suspected was heart related then I went to there emergency clinic had every test under the sun one minute there panicking saying we think you need a valve replacement and then they contact me a few weeks later we have reviwed your case and feel its very unlikely to be heart related!! Like make your mind innit.
Anyway so sorry how you was treated but I'm glad you know how I feel and I'm not imagining it.
Take care and hope you get the answers you deserve.
Hello
I acknowledge your frustrations. In 10 years of living with a rare, poorly understood and recognised heart condition, I have had some poor experiences over the years.
I suggest you remove the name of the doctor and hospital treating you.
The forum guidelines ask the following of us all, please do not:
'Post real names of the doctors or nurses treating you, or specific hospital '
healthunlocked.com/bhf/post...
Have you considered contacting the Patient Advisory Liaison Service PALS of the hospital to raise your concerns?
ok I am new here to this community and have edited my post as its against regulations and i really appreciate the advice everyone gives on here don't kkow what I'd do with out it. Sorry that I offended anyone that wasn't my intention.
We all need to vent at times!
I understand how you feel, I had a similar experience with my face to face appointment, and I'm a fairly confident person. I was so astounded at his attitude I think my mouth dropped open. I was supposed to take a different medication but researched it while waiting for my necessary blood results and decided I didn't want to take it, certainly not without further discussion. I wrote and told him, thinking it could be discussed at my follow up appointment in 3 months. 6 months later I'm still waiting.If I ever get to see him again and he has the same attitude I will tell him I would prefer to see someone else as it appears there is a communication problem.
That's awful I'm sorry you had to go though that and really does shake your confidence in it. I will definitely ask to be seen by someone else if Im unable to transfer to somewhere closer to far to travel in London anyway and too expensive.
Hope you get someone who is genuine and actually cares about what you have to say instead of disregarding it completely! 😞
Take care.
I cried for a week the last time I spoke toRegistrar at the hospital 3 years ago --- appointment tomorrow and Iam taking someone with me to see if its different .Whenever I phone GP receptionist has a knack of making me feel as if I am an inconvenience ---believe me I wish I didnt have two liver diseases Heart Failure and Atrial fib and just been diagnosed with Osteoarthritis of spine and bone spurs 77 years old and feel as if my life isnt important anymore . Empathy --even a little makes a difference
dear confused I feel so sad for you, I feel totally the same. I am in a lot of continual pain due to my having a cardiac arrest and CPR done to an already damaged sternum and rib cage from CABG, now damage to my lung from putting in pace maker,it seems it’s never ending and nobody seems to listen or I’m told I’m just one of the unlucky ones the pain now is far worse than the CABG !!!! I spend most of my day alone just sitting watching tv, all I got was take anti depressants !!! Which I’m terrified of. I’m 79 years old it’s no good people saying go for a nice walk in the fresh air I cannot hold my body upright due to the pain, and in a previous life I played tennis 2 times a week,ballroom dancing and a walk leader now this 😩
Ahhh your poor thing that's so horrible that literally make you feel so unwanted and unworthy of there attention but that's so not true judging by the amount of heart and liver diseases you have I cant believe you get treated this way. I cried as soon as he hung up the phone I cried for like an hour thought that was bad enough 💔.
Hope you get treated with respect at your next appointment and Im hoping I can bring someone with me to my next one in a year's time that's if they even see me in person seem to be seeing everyone over the phone which makes them come across as even more cold hearted and distant unable to share a damn thing with them they have the ordasity to say if your having any issues please call us I'm thinking you don't even care why would I bother. 😕
I was supposed to be seen every year but its been 3 years because 8 months ago i was offered a phone call --i dont see the point of that seeing as that wont tell them anything about my liver I have Alpha Anytrypsin liver disease which is genetic and alsoNash liver disease --I feel there is some stigma attached as it was caused by food . I lost 22 pounds in weight and was then told you need to lose more weight ---I was expecting to get some positive remarks for the weight loss .My BMI was 28 so wasnt grossly over weight
thats awful ! I to have found my cardio dept to have a superior attitude. Why? Yet I am having a hip replacement next week and cannot fault the orthopaedic team. Totally different
contact PALS. I had a very nasty first appointment after H/A regarding heart failure. First appointment after main issue I had so many questions and I NEEDED support. I was treated less than dirt under foot. My daughter was with me. I phoned the heart failure clinic and reported her. I had a phone conversation with the head of dept who could not apologise enough. She sent to my house a lovely Heart Failure nurse who patiently answered my questions and apologised again for what had happened.
I did not expect such caring treatment and I was very very grateful for having received it.
I almost did nothing thinking the nurse who had been so rude was probably under great stress and I should give her some slack. Unfortunately when you are so down with what has happened to you there is a shortage of understanding and I went for it.
So glad I did. Good luck to you xxx
I know what you mean thinking back I probably should of cut my doctor some slack but still doesn't justify how he was talking to me. I made a request to be transferred and literally couple hours later I got a phone call from another doctor and he was really nice kept apologiseing and said we all have good and bad days but Im sorry for how you was spoken too so I told him how I was feeling and he listened to everything I had to say and he told me to make a note of my weight cause it goes up and down in a day which I'm not sure if that's normal but if it is atleast I'll get reassurance on Thursday when they call back. I'm so sorry for how you was treated sounds like a very delicate and vulnerable time in your life aswell that's the last thing you needed I'm glad you spoke up for yourself and got a lovely nurse who genuinely listend to you.
Hope your keeping well and take care.
unfortunately there are different personalities in all walks of life and also for no reason personalities clash.
Talk openly with your GP and try to keep your frustration and emotions out of it.It’s upsetting and worrying when we are not heard.
Do as others suggest complain to the correct body .
For your sake keep names out of your replies on this forum.In today’s world it could also be against data protection.
Many people are turning to private health care at the moment because of their NH experience where others are full of praise as I am.
I haven't mentioned any names now I stopped that after I was told its against regulations. I'm glad you have nice treatment from the NHS and yeah that's probably why some people go private if I could I would I can't even join a dentist because they only accept private patients now so I don't know what I'm gona do.
Or you could ask to have a second opinion from someone at the same hospital. I did and it was a great success. I think it puts them on their toes for one thing. I got a very thorough written reply over two full pages long, with a set of completely different suggestions regarding medications, etc. The first cardio I saw was very pleasant and efficient but medically I don't know how she even passed her exams!
Yeah second opinion from Same hospital is kind of what I got bout 6 hours later he was very nice and sincere and he's going to call me back Thursday.
Is there anyone that could go with you to give you support and calm companionship?
It's an appointment over the phone I don't know I just keep getting them lately probably because I live to far from the hospital. But next time I have face to face appointment definitely taking someone with me.
The nice guidelines are quite informative as fo how you should be treated, including with respect and taking your preferences and values into account but my experience is somewhat different. It may be the pressure placed upon medics to deal with an ever increasing workload, but a collaborative approach ought to be good for both medics and patients alike!
Yeah your right I definitely could of handled it better I certainly let my emotions get the better of me. But he only spoke to me for 5 minutes over the phone and completely disregarded anything I said I couldn't help it I got upset I'm only human.
You should not beat yourself up! In these circumstances we are all vulnerable and to remain calm and collected when you are looking for help and support which is not forthcoming is a tall order!
Thanks that helps alot ☺️
You have my sympathy. People have suggested PALS. I have talked to them once, and can say that they sprang into action and sorted the issue out pretty quickly.
Dear people, from my experiance everything would give you emotional stress even complain because they do not care you by their formal attitude.
Hi Yumz199725
I had the same thing in May, I had all the questions written down to ask, the Consultant couldn’t wait to get me out of there, I was in there 8 minutes, felt totally distraught when I left, I spoke with the Heart Failure team a few days later, who sat down with me and explained my concerns, they have been a real life saver to me,
I hope things work out for you
Ali
Ahh so sorry to hear that sounds awful and definitely how I felt after I wasn't even there in person which for me made it worse because he couldn't examine me to tell me for sure that what I was feeling wasn't heart realted, because if I was would of been so much worse I would of got angry and emotional in front of my doctor and I'm beginning to think he dosent like me very much 😞
Differnt medical problem but same outcome. A few months ago I travelled a long way in severe pain, to see a spinal surgeon. The entire appointment he kept repeating "I am a surgeon you know- I don't do pain" over and over again. I have a section of my spine moved out of line and was expecting to discuss whether surgery could help it. Subsequently I spoke to my GP when the consultant's report arrived and was a complete pack of lies. My GP who knew me agreed it was rubbish and suggested I got a second opinion which I had a month ago. Totally different and in a hospital away from our local area. I was sent a list of consultants to choose from. Surgery will not be an option but he has made several suggestions to my GP on what to do next. I suggest you either ask your GP to request a second opinion for you or complain to PALS.
I'm so sorry that sounds dreadful I can't believe they treated you like that I'm glad you atleast had your gp on your side and got a second opinion. And got some really good results hope your back is better. I won't complain its not worth it he probably spoke to me like that because he didnt see the point of even talking with me I don't know why they don't just discharge me to another place or back to gp because by the sounds of it from the all advice and info on this forum I'm fine don't even understand why I get seen every year now to be honest 😕 I think I might just ask my doctor on Thursday.
Thanks. My back is no better; there's no cure but at least he's pointed me to someone who should be able to help and he cared and did try to help. I saw a new trainee GP also a . month ago; the first person since I was a child who actually asked how I was. how I felt, how I was coping. I'm afraid she will quickly learn that she doesn't have time for that. She has her 10 minutes, not the half hour she spent with me. Do talk to your G P, tell him how you felt, how that doctor made you feel and ask his advice.
Sorry to hear your back isnt any better are you on any medication? That's nice when you can talk to someone and they take there time being sincere and actually listening to you 😊. My GP wouldn't listen to me I would have to make a physical appointment which takes weeks and then they wouldn't even consider what i had to say as important anyway. I used to be with a very special hospital when I was little up until I was 17 then I was transferred over to an adult one so obviously they will treat you differnt but I just wish they took a genuine interest in what we had to say.
Take care. ❤️
Have you actually tried to ask for a face to face appointment? If you are ill you should be able to get a same day appointment. Does it have to be that specific doctor? Can't you try a different one/ Yes it is difficult transferring from children's services. My son found a huge difference but by changing GP he got proper help.
Do you mean a face to face with GP or hospital? I don't know if it would be a specific doctor I don't have a personal Gp I just see anyone that's available. I am bit worried bout my weight it's probably stress and anxiety but I went from 9stone 8 to 9stone 2 in a couple weeks I already mentioned this to my doctor yesterday and he said to make a note of my weight same time everyday till Thursday as it could be fluid build up and he said something about putting to fingers round your ankle and pushing and seeing if it bounces back which could also be an indication of fluid build up.
have not read all the responses from others, but the number of them indicates either that others feel the same way and/ or that they have taken the time to offer the benefit of their experience
Here's mine: first a joke (sort of!) -
Q. What's the difference between God and an Cardiology consultant?
A. God knows s/he isn't a cardiologist
On the practical side, I found that a short course in assertiveness skills helped me to feel more confident about being clear about what i needed in important situations like doctor's appointments - there are plenty of self help books and online resources which help develop strategies for dealing with professionals who behave in this way and they are well worth checking out.
Good luck
I had a strange face to face with my surgeon. I wanted advice on whether to go ahead with a bypass. He said he wouldn't advise because I might sue him. That was our first meeting so don't know why he said it!
That's very confusing 😕 wow what an odd thing to say to you.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this medical sexism.
I hope it isn't that 😕
if this happens to me I send PALS at the hospital an email, they normally get things sorted out really well, I have used PALS at Colchester general a lot to help sort out issues for me,
Hi, iv had that too! I'd had enough one day and I thought no more, so I told the doc, bearing in mind I don't like confrontation, please do not talk down to me, your treating me with no respect and your manner is appalling and dismissive, to say he was shocked was an understatement, some of them are used to being virtually hero worshipped by others and let off with there callus treatment of patients. I could take no more, he kept saying sorry and telling me to calm down, I was calm and just said my peace, my truth, and walked out. Of course that's 1 doc, I do have another who does say inappropriate things ie. Pull yourself together, your acting like an old woman! Shocking really,this is when you have hd, angina, osteoarthritis, anxiety and depression and more... and no empathy, I try to avoid her and avoid docs in general, there are also some great docs too of course.Don't let them get away with it, stand up to them if you need too, good luck x
At my 1st Cardiology appointment i was asked by the Consultant if i'd actually returned the holter meter equipment (from a test 2 months eariler) just because the Consultant's own department were running behind schedule & still hadn't sent on the results on to him.
At the time I felt he was saying I'd stolen the equipment!
I reverted to complaining to PALS to sort out why my test results were missing, to get them reviewed & for an update to be sent to me & my GP. I also questioned why the department didn't have a check process to ensure records were back before appointments.
PALS issued a response & got the situation sorted & have said they have got the department more staff .... so I'm hoping others won't have the same issues that I did with missing records.
So I'm completely in agreement that you should all complain to PALS if you have any problems.
I see that such doctors are not just an American phenomenon. I swear some are so arrogant their ego sucks all of the oxygen out of any room they enter. I don't know how I ended up getting links to the heart section, I belong to other hubs, but I see similarities with what I have been through. I have been emotionally pummeled by arrogant doctors for years. I am in the US, and will absolutely change doctors in a heartbeat if I am not treated with dignity and respect. Right now I only have one bad doctor, my sleep doctor. I only see him once or twice a year, so he's just a problem I put up with. Just this week I did have him refer me to a specialist at our local university because the CPap is not working well for me. Why won't doctors listen to their patients. When I tried to tell him I was still waking with dangerously high blood pressure after bad Cpap nights, he told me : "I have been doing this for 20 years, you need to listen to me and stop thinking too much". Yeah, well, I have been living in this body for 68 years, I win. I did not say that, wish I had. Do not suffer arrogant doctors. I do not expect doctors to have all the answers. I don't even expect them to be right all of the time. I just want them to have my best interests in their heart. Look for a doctor with that goal in mind. You are doing the right thing by switching.
Wow I'm so sorry to hear you have experienced this, I really hope you can switch doctors! I on the other hand found out that I can't because of my condition I need to be under this hospital and the only way I can transfer is to move to a different specialist hospital which is either basildon or Cambridge which is ridiculously far makes going to London look like it's round the corner 😂. I have appointment on 21st with my specialist or a member of his team. Hope you have better luck then me!
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