Just wondered if anybody had had a similar experience.
After my HA in July I initially had the high of life and being back out of hospital felt great. But something has started to creep in to my subconscious and I wanted to see if anyone has been through something similar.
I am 39 and worry my life may well be shortened because of the damage caused by the HA, and this creates a guilt that i would be letting down my family by dying young.
I am 72. My first heart attack was at 38. I remember the insidious thoughts and guilt. I overdid the healthy lifestyle regimen until I finally realized my focus on me was encroaching on my focus on family. You will learn balance. You may falter, but you will get back up. Let go of guilt. Live, to the best you can, each day as though it were your last. Love and hugs go a long way in families.
Very motivating, thank you
HelloAfter being through such a tough time and survived it's no doubt that the initial gratefulness for that to turn to more serious thoughts and pondering a ......it's like grief or any atjustment in life and is only natural.its good to put it out there and chat ........we all love our families and wish they never had to suffer because we are I'll or have been........all you can do is focus on the day the moments you have with them love them as much has you can now ,whilst preparing a way forward if the worst ever happened........hoping for the best preparing for the worst.........if anything like me done that already!
Sending you the cheeriest of Christmas wishes and all good thoughts to you all.........keep talking it's only natural.
Merry Christmas wild swimming lady
MorningI totally recognise the feelings of guilt about having 'let our families down'. I keep thinking -I should have done this, I should have done that - but I know deep down this is not my fault - its not OUR fault. That means learning to embrace what has happened as part of you and who you are and these feelings you have will pass
Thanks Linnnielizzie, wise words 🙌
You can only deal with the present. Focus on each day and on your family. No one knows what the future will bring. I’ve just had a quad bypass after 8 angloplasty’s over the last few years but I’ll be damned if I let my condition dictate my ‘being’. Looking forward to returning to playing football and planning to take up C25K running... and I am contemplating return to boxing or Thai-boxing after 25 years out if the Doc allows and I have the time to fit it in. You seem a strong minded character, you are clearly super fit... you have plenty of life to live, believe in yourself! 💪
Very motivating thanks 🙏
I was Thai boxing when I had my heart attack, 4 rounds in and I felt gased all of a sudden. I thought I’d pulled a muscle in my neck to begin with but soon realised it was worse than that..
I have the motivation and fight in me, I’m more worried that my body won’t keep up with my stubborn mind 🤣
I plan to run when I have had my ASD closed, but my fighting days are over.. divorce and cold shoulders from family would shortly follow 😂
You will beat this (whatever that looks like). You are clearly a fighter. Each person/condition is different. Make your consultant, GP, cardiac rehab team your new best friends, do everything in consultation with them and they will tell you what your body can and can’t stand. I am not knowledgable enough about your specific situation but know whatever it is, you have a team you can access to help you win this battle... keep going.
I only realised just yesterday quite now much my HA had impacted on my son when he finally admitted the reason for him not visiting us this year- even when it was allowed and why he's reluctant to come even for Christmas day. Even though he's had Covid he's terrified he could be carrying it and infect me. As he lives alone we could be his support bubble but he won't even risk that and his mental health is really suffering from being so isolated. SO yes now the guilt has kicked in with me along with the thought of not seeing him at Christmas when I haven't seen him at all this year ( he only lives 50 minutes away and is hoping to move to Canada so I may not ever see him again).
Yes it has a massive effect on loved ones.. my wife didn’t want hug me when I came out of hospital because she thought I was so fragile she might break me.
I’m sure your son is trying to protect you. You should talk it through with him, I’m sure when you both say how you are feeling it won’t be such a big thing.
Good luck. Have a good Christmas
I am in EXACTLY the same boat. 42 when I had HA in March this year. Both my parents still with us and I know they would devastated if I was to go young, and a wife, two teenage sons (one autistic) and run my own business. I said to my wife just recently I’m not scared particularly of dying, but I stress about letting down those who are left 🤷♂️
I think I am only now mentally trying to deal with what has happened, and that the old normal is gone. Between the high of surviving and feeling on the whole ok, and Covid completely removing a lot of this years normal life, mentally dealing with having had a HA is only happening now and to be truthful it’s not been an easy spell. Changes to meds have made me feel a bit strange and I’ve started to obsess with how I’m feeling and whether I’m ok, which is a problem given the anxiety of worrying about your health causes as many problems as the conditions themselves! I guess we just need to take comfort and support from those who understand and try and get through it as best we can. I do wonder if I’ll ever wake up again and my first thought isn’t “how do I feel, breathing ok, chest pain, how will today be”.
Hi there, 3.5 years ago for me - I’m 45 now and the owner of 5 stents in total in all 3 arteries. I had the exact same feelings and still do sometimes- it is a battle, but last 3 years have been good on the whole. I was a footballer and runner; I stopped competitive sport but run ok still and cycle (indoors mainly). Yes- the feeling of guilt at not being there for my family ( wife and young daughter) comes to the surface now and again. Counselling is good if you can get it- it really helped me to talk through this with someone not in my immediate circle, as I don’t want to burden my partner with my fears - as they are going through this too (although of course you do need to talk to some degree - 🙂). Counsellor explained how it is like a bereavement- with its various stages ; that helped to frame it for me. Wishing you a happy and healthy new year.
Hi Outforawalk and David
Comforting to know you have similar thoughts. My two sons are both in there late teens but my wife doesn’t think we are finished yet 🤣
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