Bit of a cross-post from the Couch to 5K forum, hope y'all will forgive me for not typing it all out afresh. But the old heart-worry demons were back today for the first time in months and - through sheer bloody-mindedness and a little luck at the end - I beat them back to where they belong
That was a tough one!
As I was starting to get ready, so many demons started whispering in my ear...
"Your knee was niggling after the last, will it hold out?"
"You over-did it with that 7km walk yesterday"
And the big one for me, which I honestly thought I'd heard the last of....
"What if THIS is the one that pushes your heart too far???"
Managed to fight them off enough to get out the door but, even during the warm-up my HR was a few beats higher than normal, I was feeling tense, and the excitement I'd felt after the last run was gone with the (pleasantly breezy) wind!
My rhythm was fine (the music makes sure of that) but breathing was all over the place and the ONLY thought I kept having was "you won't make it today" - I just couldn't shake the fear that a full 30 minutes running (even though I'd done it twice this week already) would somehow be bad for my heart.
My shoulders were up around my ears and, no matter how I tried to relax them, it was like some evil puppet-master was yanking them back up on strings! Up the hill to the half-way, looking about 10 feet in front because I knew if I looked ahead it'd be just too far, and I hadn't remembered my GTN spray today!
Heading back down and Laura (the "coach" on the app) called the 20 minute point. I still hadn't settled and there was no way I could fight myself like this for half as long again. Then, almost at the point of giving up, someone was running towards me. We passed with a cheerful nod and smile (probably looked more like a snarl to him, but there ya go ) and suddenly there was no way I could stop.
Got to the 30 minutes at 4.3km (it's the time, not the distance that counts). No chance at all of doing the extra 700m, but I'd beaten the demons back into their boxes and I'd done it!!!
With a little help from a mystery runner who, about now, is probably telling someone about the odd person who growled at him out on the dunes today