Heart attack recovery

[Jinxxed]

Hi everyone

My 39 year old husband had a heart attack about 8 weeks ago and it’s been a very rocky road since. I just want to reach out to anyone else in the same situation as it’s tricky to talk to my husband about his recovery. We don’t even call it a heart attack we call it the episode. My main question is how do you return to normal life? We had a silly argument at the weekend and he got so stressed he thought he was having another heart attack and has regressed since. How do you never get excited/angry/sad/stressed again with life without panicking that it’s all happening again? Appreciate any advice that’s out there! Many thanks

[jobe1968]

Sounds like some counseling would benefit your husband. Internalizing all the worries and stress is not the best way to recovery.

Your GP should advise. There is also much information for partners on the web.

Good luck and hopefully you will move forward soon.

M

[Jinxxed in reply to jobe1968]

Thanks for your response it’s appreciated. I would love him to go to counselling but he would never go he has never been much of a talker! I will just have to do my very best 😊

Thanks again

[Zena166]

Hi Jinx. Sorry to hear about your husband. It’s early days in his recovery at the moment. I had a heart attack last June and I still remember the emotional rollercoaster of anger fear anxiety scared laughter (hysterical mainly!!) aggression crying and I became more inward looking. I know I was a total mess! I saw a health psychologist who gave me coping strategies and a counsellor who helped free my emotions. I focused on each day at a time and I talked openly with my partner about everything because he was more anxious about me when I said nothing. And he also kept his emotions to himself so being open helped him as well. So try and have those conversations although I appreciate it may/will be difficult.

You ask about not getting stressed/panicking again so cardiac rehab will help as they advise on all aspects of coping and increases confidence. Focusing on physical exercise will help with recovery and walking is great therapy for the mind as well .This is a grieving process so Time helps as he will get to know how his body responds to different situations.

Mike is right he might like to go to counselling this will help him through this difficult time. His GP can refer or there are a variety of mental health charities that can direct you like Mind and mental health matters.

Finally it’s really important that you look after yourself. I am fully aware that partners also get stressed and always focus their efforts on their loved one but in doing so sometimes their own wellbeing takes a back seat.

So tell him to take each day at a time build on each positive. There will be good and bad days but the good days will soon outweigh the bad ones. Embrace rehab and stay strong. Sending lots of positive thoughts love and hugs. Zena x

[Hidden]

Hi there

I think most of us have gone throught the denial stage, then the angry and why me stage, finally teh acceptance. Its a bit like grief as we are greiving for our previous life.

As Jobe says try and get him some counselling if you can, but please get him into rehab no matter what, as they will understand what he is going through, and its good to chat to those who've been/are going through the same fears and emotions as he is. Also the exercise really helps.

Have you tried talking to GP? I would also recommend that you contact the BHF nurses on this site the are exceptional

Good luck

[Jinxxed]

Thank you all SO much I cannot express how much this has helped me! He has cardio rehab in three weeks and I know this will really help.

Can I ask did/do any of you get chest pain when you get upset or stressed out?

Thank you again I really appreciate you taking the time to reply.

[NathanBlau in reply to Jinxxed]

I think the main points have been answered but the chest pain when stressed is very familiar - I also feel discomfort rather than real pain when anxious about anything.

Fortunately I now recognise it for what it is and do not panic about another heart attack, but its definitely a new physical response since my heart attack. I think its possibly a new feeling of vulnerability that men generally don't suffer prior to a heart attack. I clearly have no magic wand as I still occasionally suffer it, but the cardiac rehab will equip him with greater physical confidence and assure him that everyday stresses will not cause another incident.

I know its a tough road but he (and you) will get there

[Jinxxed]

Thank you that’s the part that was worrying him the most! Get stressed and then chest discomfort and automatically thinking it was happening again! I presume the heart doesn’t like an andreline shot of anxiety so he feels bruised for a couple of days but you are right rehab should help greatly and we will be on our road to recovery!

Thank you for replying