I want/need something to change... Ideas ... - Beyond Body Size

Beyond Body Size

4,104 members288 posts

I want/need something to change... Ideas or opinions needed please

Chuupachuu profile image
2 Replies

I've been stuck in a rut for a few years now. I used to be very active and fit and confident, but I got very sick for a few years. We finally found out what was making me so sick, toxic mold my body couldn't clear on its own. I thought once I knew what was wrong and started treatment that I would go back to acting like the person I was before, but I feel so unfocused and just down about things it is so hard to change. I've always had an interest in exploring a BDSM lifestyle with my husband. I like the idea of doing everything to serve my husband and making him feel very special. I know my husband would like it if I lost more weight and got back into shape, but he doesn't bring it up. He is quiet and I tend to be the one who makes decisions etc. But I really like the idea of being a submissive. I wonder if setting up a dynamic between my husband and myself might help me achieve my goals, and give my relationship a new, fun dynamic, or if I would just be further discouraged if didn't work. I just need things to change in a significant way. I thought maybe it was something I could get excited about. Start with a few household rules/rules for me that aren't too extreme and see how it goes. I'm not happy with being lazy and looking the way I do. I'm 5 3 and when I was very sick I got up to over 280 lbs. I've since gotten down to 145-150 but I am stuck and still feel bad about myself. I don't have a job. So my days are open. There is plenty that needs to be done around the house, but I never seem to be able to start. I feel overwhelmed and not motivated. Exploring a BDSM relationship is just the only idea of a major lifestyle change I could come up with. Any thoughts on this or other suggestions?

Written by
Chuupachuu profile image
Chuupachuu
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
2 Replies
Dreamer468 profile image
Dreamer468

Hey there. I understand even my situation isn't similar to yours. I'm having hard time focusing in my studies for the last 3 years. Somehow I luckly passed exams and now struggles in college. Also I'm too tired of doing anything. I've became fat. I too want to.workout little bit and stabilize my body. I even did it 2 weeks continuesly. However something snapped and I've lost the control.

In my opinion, you should try to create a new daily routine which make you to get out of bed and do something. My psychiatrist suggested it to me. Also dont overthink or overplay, just keep an idea of doing it and do it before your mind gets messed up. I know its hard but like everything, consistency makes it make easier for you. You should try to distract yourself. If you could talk to your husband about it, if he could give some support, it is also a good thing.

First of all, congrats on making it that far toward your fitness goal. That's an accomplishment that deserves recognition. :)

You should try focusing on your own personal happiness first. Do what makes you happy. If you want to lead a healthier lifestyle, then do it. The only thing that's stopping you is YOU. I suggest starting a gratitude/goal journal. Write down your goals and 3 things you are thankful for each day. When I say write down goals, I want you to really visualize them down to every detail. For example, after you finish with house chores, what you want it to look like? Uncluttered? Airy? Fresh smelling? Make it a point everyday to work on your personal growth both mentally and physically. Keep eating healthy and exercising, drink lots of water, and get enough sleep.

Key is baby steps to your goal. Take it one day at a time. If you stay consistent, you'll get there.

Also, your husband loves you just the way you are. If you think losing weight will give you more confidence and promote a healthy lifestyle then you should totally do whatever you can to achieve that. We all know confidence is sexy! :) You got this!