lost my husband 3 weeks ago feeling lost

[Simonsgirl82]

lost my husband at the beginning of April, to a cardiac arrest, me and my 4 children feel so lost and heartbroken, I feel like the hospital let him and all of us down by not doing his operation sooner when he was there 8 days but nothing was done, I have so many unanswered questions

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hello  Simonsgirl82

A very warm welcome to you<3

Oh my goodness, I'm really sorry to read your news.

This is so distressing for you all, and at a young age too.

You're feeling really angry and I don't blame you, you're distraught right now <3

I'm sure you've asked for explanations and you can of course make a complaint but sadly

that won't bring your dear husband back.

Right now you need to lean on as much support as you are offered, just having someone around may help, you don't need to talk, no explanations are necessary. But you will need someone to help out with the shopping (you all have to eat) or any chores you have.

You have 4 children who are all grieving too, in a different way of course, so that probably doesn't leave much time for you, so self-care is really important.

We are always here for you, so please lean on us, anytime at all<3

Sending support {{{hugs}}}

Chloe

[GoGo_JoJo]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Way too soon at your stage of life. You and your children will be feeling very confused.

We always have unanswered questions and the reality is, we never get satisfactory answers. Primarily this is because nothing anyone can say or use to justify such a loss is of any use as nothing can bring them back. 😢

You're in the earliest stage of grief which is denial and disbelief that you can be in this situation, that someone, who just a few days back, was here, is gone.

There is no easy course, but I would urge you to celebrate your husband as much as possible, especially with the kids. Keep happy memories close by, remember his smiles, his laughter, his favourite things, not those awful days in the hospital.

I really hope you have supportive friends and family to help you and your kids.

Keep talking, keep sharing. You're not alone, no matter how it often feels 💖

[LilyAnnepuppy]

After my daughter died I had to join a grief group. It was so raw and painful. And I needed so much help.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. Mine is very sick and I can’t imagine what I’d do without him.

My heart and prayers go out to you.

[KT22]

Hi, I’m so sorry to read your news. I can sympathise with how you are feeling. I lost my husband nearly 3 years ago & still have really bad days.

I had to make an official complaint against the hospital due to neglect in my husband’s treatment. So if this is something you feel strongly about please contact the hospitals PALS service ( sometimes called Patient Experience). This is the first step to making a complaint. Sadly mine is currently being investigated by the ombudsman.

As for now, take each day an hour at a time & be kind to yourself. It may be useful to make memory boxes with your children so they can add photos, mementos, drawings etc to remember their Daddy.

Sending a big virtual hug at this incredibly sad time. X

[Caza]

Gosh that’s hard. Such early days.

Look after yourself & accept all the help that’s offered xx