I’m Devastated My Mum Died this morning - Bereavement Care ...

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I’m Devastated My Mum Died this morning

spykey profile image
9 Replies

Hi

Don’t know what else to say except I lost my Mum at 11.30 this morning! I didn’t get there in time my brother phoned me to tell me she had gone!

I went to see her a bit later, I know some people choose not to! But I hadn’t been able to see her for the last few weeks, but I spent some time with her before the lockdown whilst she was in Hospital!

I had a short but personal time with her an hour later and talked to her the way I normally would & was able to give her a hug & kisses! Now I just don’t know how to feel, I want to cry, scream, shout I really don’t know how or what to do!! I just miss her So much already! I just can’t believe she’s gone!

Spykey

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spykey profile image
spykey
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9 Replies
chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Hi spykey

Really very sorry to hear about your Mum.

I'm grateful that you had the opportunity to see her in the hospital and also that you were able to spend some time when you did get there today, so many are deprived of this at the moment and it's so important to say your goodbyes and anything else you wanted to say to your dear Mum x

You should go ahead and shout, scream and react in any way you feel right now, don't bottle it up! it's far worse.

Take all the time you need to process this news and please take good care of yourself.

Chloe <3

Nathalie99 profile image
Nathalie99

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Spykey.

This is so sad...

You have had the opportunity to spend time with her earlier and it's a very precious time.

Sending hugs and support xx

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

You have every right to feel how you do so have a good cry or shout if you feel it will make you feel a bit better!

Worst thing you can do is bottle things up!

klr31 profile image
klr31

I'm so sorry for your loss. You will be devastated. Please take care of yourself. I'm sure your mum would have wanted you to. She is around you now.

Karen x

Karynleitner profile image
Karynleitner

I’m So sorry. Mums are such important people in our lives. 💜❤️💙 The loss is unbearable.

We are all here for you.

RoseyViolet profile image
RoseyViolet

I'm so sorry for your sudden loss of your Mum. She knew how very much you loved her and that it would have been your desire to be there during her final moments here on earth. It's okay to have all these range of feelings, emotions and experience them all or some within the same day. I think it's God's gift of helping us to release the pent up pain and suffering.

My sister died suddenly in her sleep, I never got to say goodbye to her. What I did remember that I had was memories of our last phone call and the cherished memories of her laughter, her love of children and her legacy of living life to the fullest. I had to choose to take each day as it came, live the pain of loss and allow myself to grieve. It's a journey and we all need the season of grief to live "in" for a time, just don't get "stuck" in your grieving. It's okay to not be okay! Take the great moments of living life with your Mum and pass them along to others you come into contact with...it's in essence keeping her spirit alive through your memories and love of others. I'm sorry for your loss... you are not alone! Seek out a grief support group if you don't feel like grieving alone, that can be very helpful.

chelseak_ profile image
chelseak_

Hi Spykey

I’m very sorry for your loss ,I know how it feels to lose your mum

Sending hugs & love xxx

salem16 profile image
salem16

Give me ideas when I feel down and want to give up. I am an widow lonely starving for conversation. Only one to 2 people to talk too. I have been really down and not so mobile.

spykey profile image
spykey in reply to salem16

Hi salem16

Sorry for your loss, please accept my sincere condolences! Life can be difficult after you suffer a loss, and to only have a couple of friends to turn to can be difficult for you too!

Did your partner have any friends that attend the funeral, or did you have some joint friends that you both knew as a couple that you may approach, that you could call and maybe thank them for attending the funeral as a first point of conversation? Then gradually move on to the point of how are they?

This conversation does not need to be too deep or too desperate from your point, but you might say something like it's strange when life changes and you now have an big. empty house! You could also say when this covid19 is over, maybe you could meet with them for coffee!!? Or a drink when they are free??

I've been known to read the names in sympathy cards from others, and see who I might know & could reconnect with them at some point when I'm ready!

I'm not gonna say it's easy, but sometimes it's you that has to make the contact as they don't know how & when you are ready to start to contact you as they don't know how you are feeling & where your grief is at and are scared to contact you as old & new grief feelings are going to be dragged up!

Like I said I can't promise it will be easy, but sometimes when we make the first step others respond! If it doesn't happen first time, try again, what have you got to lose!

I wish that blessings on your life and the confidence to make that first step, try not to be too hard on yourself, I know it's harder with covid19 is getting the ways to meet up more difficult! But that doesn't mean we can't use telephone!! Try and see if you can find a therapist to help you through this difficult time, sometimes your Dr can refer you, but their lists can be really long waiting lists!

Cruse are good to talk to, also the Samaritans and there is also information to the right of this site which Chloe 40 the site administrator has given some information that is helpful about who to turn to!!

Take Care & Good Luck!

Spykey

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