Too much bereavements: Hi im new here... - Bereavement Care ...

Bereavement Care & Share
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Too much bereavements

Mamma-g
Mamma-g

Hi im new here. I have had alot of bereavement through out my life. Its been tough. My grandad, my nana, my best friend, my son and my uncle. I have never spoke about any of them to anyone.

23 Replies
oldestnewest

Hi there, I'm sorry to hear that. Personally I think it's good to talk. If we internalise everything eventually it just weighs too heavy. 👎🏼

Mamma-g
Mamma-g
in reply to GoGo_JoJo

Hi Thank you for your reply. It is good to talk but not with family. I hope by joining this group. Things will get better.

GoGo_JoJo
GoGo_JoJo
in reply to Mamma-g

I agree, too much tension within families, far easier to talk with outsiders who have no bias.

Yes, thing will indeed get better 👍🏻😊

Mamma-g
Mamma-g
in reply to GoGo_JoJo

Hopefully talking to strangers will help.

chloe40
chloe40Administrator

Hello Mamma-g

A very warm welcome to our Community.

I'm so pleased you've found us, here you can share your worries and concerns and keep in contact with others who have experienced similar patterns of grief like yourself.

It's always good to talk, in fact it's an essential part of healing, so apart from us, if you have any adult in your life you can discuss this this, that would be a good start, if not please ask your doctor for a referral to a Bereavement Counsellor or therapist to talk you loss through, it could be complicated grief which can develop after many losses close together where you haven't been able to process them one by one, it can be overpowering.

Take good care of yourself.

Chloe<3

Mamma-g
Mamma-g
in reply to chloe40

Thank you for replying. I have no family or friends at the moment. I dont like putting on people. I have been to the doctors but i dont get anywhere with them. Think there sick of me going up now. I just go for my medication. The waiting list for cruze bereavement is a mile long and arent taking anyone new on at the moment. I dont think ill ever be right again. Had too much trauma in my life. Day to day things are just getting harder and harder to do.

chloe40
chloe40Administrator
in reply to Mamma-g

Hi Mamma-g

You're very welcome <3

Honestly, I would go back and ask for a referral, it's you're life and your health Mama.

You could also look online for visiting bereavement, where they will visit you in the home regularly, like Bereavement Care, Harrow but I'm sure there must be others.

I know how low you're feeling right now, but you need this extra support and I really want you to be strong and do a little checking online.

You will feel better, it will take some time but with the help and people, you'll get through this, honestly you will {{{hugs}}}.

Please let me know how you get on x

Chloe

Mamma-g
Mamma-g
in reply to chloe40

Thank uou so much for your advice. I use to live in the doctors. I told him a few times ive been suicidal. He said you dont look suicidal. Its like banging my head on a brick wall. From when my grandad died when i was 13. Its been trauma after trauma. Its never ending. I will look online about bereavement care at home but im not very hopeful as i cant even get on a waiting list so for someone to come to my house. I doubt that will happen.

chloe40
chloe40Administrator
in reply to Mamma-g

Mamma-g

Please contact someone from the Bereavement and suicide resources on the righthand side of this page under pinned posts, you'll find someone that you can talk to.

Please do get back to me.

Chloe

Mamma-g
Mamma-g
in reply to chloe40

Hi Chloe just see this message. It was in my spam box. I will have a look into that. Thank you.

chloe40
chloe40Administrator
in reply to Mamma-g

You're very welcome <3

Chloe

kenster1
kenster1Volunteer

hi mamma-g cruise also do online counselling if that is any help it might get you registered quicker maybe rather than face to face.

Oh do they ill have a look online. Thank you for that information.

kenster1
kenster1Volunteer
in reply to Mamma-g

someone on the forum was having online counselling I didn't know they done that.its worth looking into.

Mamma-g
Mamma-g
in reply to kenster1

It wont hurt to have a look. Thank you.

I am sorry you have not had good luck finding a great support network. Thanks for sharing your struggle with us. We are here for you to vent anytime you need. During my time of grief (my parents died within 3 months of each other) I leaned heavily on my counselor. I know this may not be a great option due to things in your past, but have you thought about a grief share group? Our church held one. I honestly was too scared to attend but those who did thought it was helpful. Hang in there, things will improve for sure.

Mamma-g
Mamma-g
in reply to cbgrace1980

Thank you so much for your reply. Things are going from bad to worse at the moment. I have no support. Its so hard with whats going on in the world now. I feel so isolated at the moment. I font know where i would start looking for grief share groups. Counsellors and bereavement places near me theres a waiting list aslong as my arm. I just think in my 49 years of being in this world its not got any better an its just getting worse. It scares me.

kenster1
kenster1Volunteer
in reply to Mamma-g

hi mamma-g its really difficult right now with what is happening you could still register although it could be a couple of months but being here or family/friends is probably your best bet for now its really difficult.

I think everything is shutting down now. I have no family or friends. Thank you for your advice. Im trying my best to stay strong.

kenster1
kenster1Volunteer
in reply to Mamma-g

if you ever need a chat feel free usually on here everyday as well as the other forum.

Mamma-g
Mamma-g
in reply to kenster1

Thank you very much means alot.

Hi Mamma-g

Can I say take a deep breath, take a step forward and breathe! You can and will get through this!

You are stronger than you think! You found the Care & Share website & have shared with us, that took strength,

There are some websites in the strangest places that may be of help too!!

I’ve typed in I need to talk to someone about a bereavement and various websites came up!

I can’t guide you to any specific ones but there are some out there and some have access to a phone number so you can talk to someone!

That doesn’t mean you can’t talk to us on the site as we are more than happy to have you with us and to talk & listen to you too! Don’t give up whenever you want to open up and feel you want to talk and whatever you want to share with us we’re not going anywhere fast!!

I know you’ve had a rough time already, and you feel your banging your head against a wall, any chance of putting a pillow there and not giving yourself a hard time!! Times have been hard for you, as you’ve shown in your writing! And I know it’s not easy dealing with bereavement let alone more than one as you’ve experienced! But you’re not alone, we’ve all had our own experiences and coped with them in different ways, so I’m sure you’ll find it helpful being part of Care & Share.

Take Lots of Care

Hugs 💓and Blessings 🤗

Spykey

Mamma-g
Mamma-g
in reply to spykey

Thank you so much for replying Spykey. It is nice to know there is someone there. Its hard to talk about the people i have lost. It brings back so much hurt but there were so many good times. I know im a very strong person it was my grandad who taught me to never give up. He died when i was 13. He taught me to swim i was a speed swimmer. My mum was around but my grandad was the one who brought me up. When he went to heaven half of me went with him. I couldnt go to his funeral. I never said goodbye. It was so hard and still is. It is so hard to get bereavement counselling. To be honest though. I like helping people. I can give them loads of advice an do things for them first. I do find it very hard to ask for help an put myself first. Its not just bereavement i have been through though. Its domestic violence too. Most days i think ive got through all that but other days its like what is the point of going on? I hate myself for thinking like that. The only think that stops me is my children. I cant even go to the toilet without one of the calling my name. Mum were this mum n i cant do this or that. They do need me. Sorry for going on an Thank you for listening.

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