Tagging a few dear members to see how... - Bereavement Care ...

Bereavement Care & Share

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Tagging a few dear members to see how you are.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator
25 Replies

If you haven't popped in for a while, I'd love to know you are well and coping during this period.

Greyone kenster1 Lperica10 jaykay777 abirke JOLLYDOLLY mysmugcat Nathalie99 RealEyes Will2015abc klr31 Celtic27 NeuronerdDoaty Lezneed2ruth

Love to hear from you!

Chloe

25 Replies
kenster1 profile image
kenster1Volunteer

hi Chloe I don't really know how I feel but I am worried for my friend.his phone is on answering machine and he hasn't responded to any of my txt messages don't know what to do he is suffering terrible grief and when you have addiction issues its got me thinking.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to kenster1

Hi Kenny kenster1

I'm so sorry Kenny, the poor man must be grief stricken and it's an awful worry for you too!

Do you know of any other mutual friends that he may be close to or any other family members?

Chloe<3

kenster1 profile image
kenster1Volunteer in reply to chloe40

my sisters friend lives in the same part of town ive asked my sister to ask her friend to go and check on him I will give it till tomorrow and take it from there.i don't think any of our friends have been in touch although my friend sent him a message on facebook yesterday but he didn't respond to that either.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to kenster1

It will be good if your sisters friend can at least establish he's there and not in need in urgent care Kenny.

I'll be thinking of you both <3

Chloe

kenster1 profile image
kenster1Volunteer in reply to chloe40

thank you Chloe hoping he is ok and just not responding because he is busy or whatever but its been a few days now since I last spoke to him.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to kenster1

Yes indeed Kenny kenster1

It may be exactly that in which case, you will be very relieved, me too<3

Chloe

Nathalie99 profile image
Nathalie99

Thanks, Chloe.

It's been tougher time since a month because of family health issues but things are getting better.

How are you?

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Nathalie99

Hi Nathalie99

Really sorry to read this Nathalie, I didn't realise, such a stressful time for you all. Glad to know things are getting better, do take good care of yourself <3

Chloe

Nathalie99 profile image
Nathalie99 in reply to chloe40

Thank you, Chloe.

It is a very stressful time indeed. Thank you very much.

Nathalie

klr31 profile image
klr31

Thank you, Chloe40. I am doing okay although still pondering complaining about the hospital ward where dad died, just so the awful way he died can be improved upon and they can learn from it.

I also still have my parents' ashes and can't seem to get round to sending them to the cemetery near where they were brought up; I suppose I'm worried that they will get lost or won't be scattered as I want. I can't go myself as it's too far for me.

I have just completed training in Reiki II which is helping me, as well as I'm now able to give Reiki to my husband and send distance Reiki healing to friends.

It's one day at a time, isn't it. Time is a healer but I'm aware that I'm coming up to the first anniversary of dad's death in May. I also think back to my mum's end more now too, possibly because I didn't grieve properly at the time for her due to dad's shenanigans.

Hope you are as okay as possible.

Karen

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to klr31

Hi Karen klr31

So lovely to hear from you !

Yes, it was a difficult time for you and you must do what you feel is in your heart, if it helps others then I agree with you.

It's still early days for you and the first anniversary can be particularly difficult but I'm sure you're aware pf that.

That's marvellous that you've become a Reiki healer, congratulations!

Take good care of yourself and do drop in whenever you wish, we're always here for you.

Chloe

klr31 profile image
klr31 in reply to chloe40

Thank you, that means a lot.

Karen x

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to klr31

You're very welcome Karen x

NeuronerdDoaty profile image
NeuronerdDoaty

Sinus infection and bad cold. I’ll be up soon. Thanks Chloe!

💛

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Hi NeuronerdDoaty

I wondered where you were <3

Sorry to read you're unwell, look after yourself and we'll chat soon.

Chloe

Greyone profile image
Greyone

Hi C40 and a happy new year to everyone passing by.

I spent new years eve doing nothing more than tidying up my emails.

I'm suspectable to newsletters and very often lack the will to hit unsubscribe. Managed to do it and in the process stopped all of the HU ones. Such a shame we can't have forum level notifications. [Note to self - must suggest that to them sometime].

I'm slowly working my way up to the top and in the process, I was very pleased with something GoGo said about why it's quiet here, about moving forward. That seems a worthy resolution for the new year. So I'm going to be thinking of that.

My expressions of gratitude have been doing well. It makes it so much easier to say "thank you" also,

Today to shed my loneliness I decided to have lunch in Costa. That generated gratitude by the bucket, So many things to be grateful for. Also keeping in touch with friends far away using SMS, IM and eE-Mail cheers me up no end.

This evening I make progress with my return to our re-opened swimming pool, followed by a homemade Arabiatta after Tescos.

My latest Self Care Task is to make each night trouble-free with sleep. Even though it is hard for me to give u a steady stream of my beloved cuppa and that evening plate for toast it now must be done.

That's all my new year news. As Gretchen Rubin says "Onwards and Upwards"

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Greyone

Hello Greyone

I think you are managing your resolutions brilliantly and I detect more than a hint of happiness there ;-)

Keep it up.

Chloe

Lperica10 profile image
Lperica10

Doing okay, the winter is just starting to come here (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) so staying indoors with my almost 4 month old. (It used to come earlier but the past years has been coming later) But going to lunch today with friends. How are you??

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Hi Lperica10

Lovely to hear from you as always <3

Winters must be pretty tough for you there?

I hope you've had a lovely lunch today and hope baby is well, time flies 4mths now, that's lovely.

Chloe x

Lezneed2ruth profile image
Lezneed2ruth

Hay guys how's everybody doing with the new decade so far... Tomorrow is the first anniversary of my Dad and its harder than I expected... Tomorrow my partner & I are meeting up with Mum, my adult kids+families for some food and I imagine few shots of strong medicinal liquor (before)

mum is still being distant and abruptness in her voice still sharp as Ice. I may sound a bit sarcastic but really am not, I feel its only way I can express her ways. It seems like no one is realising that this is causing ME So much pain and patience is really not my best trait. I have spent 3months in the family Court trying to fight for my 8year grandson. Long story but the child mother is my sons ex. She has history with social services involved due to her "neglect" and she moved (Ran) 200 miles away. Unfortunately England's child social care is failing vulnerable children, so I have dealt with that emotional heartbreaking situation.

I was given some sane advice from school family liason, Take Time out for me, close my door and take a moment to accept my grief from losing my dad and grief from losing my grandson to life with failure and his mother disguised compliance.

So my son has 2 other kids with his beautiful lady, who is a fantastic mum and step mum. But she thought I would just have to ( like&lump it..! )expect to look after half brothers of the 8year old as he was placed with me. i was simply taken advantage of.

So I followed the advice

Just before new year i made it clear to 1 daughter n law, that I will not be able to look after my 2 grandsons anymore than 2 days, which I agreed to. With out quite realising 2 days turned to nearly every school day +weekend. It actually took me to become angry as I said I have to grieve my Father, 1st year is in less than 8 weeks, my mum won't let me close.

She is going to you before me, your all very prickly, atmosphere is thick with thorns .

As I know my mother I know things are being said and instead of a pinch of salt.... you are all seasoning My mums hot pot of bereavement. You may not know this but I see this judgement by the way your all behavior, not a consideration for me coping or not! No thanks for having the kids...

You have no idea what our mum daughter relationship was like growing up. No idea how much bonding we have gained during my father's illness. For 2&half years tests and Treatment was OUR NORMAL my parents and myself.

I've not actually cried for my dad yet, I've cried for my mum's pain for my 3 sons&their children's loss and hurt.

Have a peaceful weekend guys thanks for your time

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Lezneed2ruth

Hi Lezneed2ruth

Good to hear from you! but not so good to hear the situation is still bad, so sorry Lez.

I must say it does sound as though you have been taken advantage of and I'm also of the opinion that you need to take time for yourself, time to grieve and time to reflect.

This first approaching anniversary, is very difficult emotionally and you definitely don't need any further upset or have to shoulder more issues, so please take this time, look after you! sometimes we have to and this is one of those times Lez.

Best wishes

Chloe <3

Lezneed2ruth profile image
Lezneed2ruth in reply to chloe40

Thank you so much for replying to me, I appreciate your words with such emotional gratitude and I send you ❤️🙏🤗 such admiration and love to you all here.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Lezneed2ruth

You're very welcome Lezneed2ruth

Always here for you!

Take good care of yourself <3

Chloe

mysmugcat profile image
mysmugcat

Hello. I have been down. Picked up a bit. At the moment I have my noisy neighbour and his ten year old daughter stomping above me being loud and going to be late doing all this on a laminate floor. In virtual lockdown. I have told him before. I do not know whether to report him to the housing association, I don't know if they would do much. Nearly three years until the anniversary of my partner passing.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to mysmugcat

Hello @mysmugcat

Neighbours can be very inconsiderate at times, I know exactly what you mean. You may find that as in the case of local council properties, that laminate flooring is not allowed unless is has sound proofing, may be worth enquiring.

Anniversaries really are difficult , whether it's the first or third, really feel for you <3

Take care

Chloe <3

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