Has anyone decided not to celebrate C... - Bereavement Care ...

Bereavement Care & Share

866 members1,420 posts

Has anyone decided not to celebrate Christmas...

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator
11 Replies

since they lost a loved one?

Please do share with us, we still want to support you!

Chloe

Written by
chloe40 profile image
chloe40
Administrator
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
11 Replies
jaykay777 profile image
jaykay777

Quite the opposite. I am Jewish, and addition to the Jewish holiday of Chanukah, I also celebrate Christmas in honor of my late husband, Bob, who was Christian and loved to decorate our home for the holidays.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to jaykay777

Hi jaykay777

So lovely to hear from you.

Lovely to hear that you celebrate both holidays Jaykay :-) enjoy!

Chloe

in reply to jaykay777

Just wanted to say hello jaykay777 and send you Christmas wishes,

Lottie x

Greyone profile image
Greyone

decided to write this in notepad and post later after dinner.

I wouldn't say not celebrating Christmas but I always think back to Christmases past.

As children, there was the grandparent duty. Rather formal and full of unhappiness.

When grandpa died it became our duty to play host when she'd invite herself round in the usual "And of course I'm coming for Christmas day" and the parents would argue and not speak to her.

On the day the meal would end with Nanna flourishing a tenner for my mum's troubles. MUm used to say outright how she hated that.

I think we didn't have a truly peaceful Christmas till we were on our own with the odd family visitor. I suppose this is what some might call a typical family Christmas. A mixture of good and bad.

After dad died and it was just the three of us, it became morning cooing, Afternoon Tv and evening films. I must admit this is my favourite period. After mum's diagnosis, it was the same but quieter and much better for the three of us.

Now for me and sis, it's morning in our own parts of the house, lunch in the front room then back to our own corners. The meal was a turkey role courtesy of Morrisons but as usual, twice the size.

So this year it appears to be a solo project. With sis experimenting to appease her IBS, so mine will be Chicken, piled high with veg and boilers and topped off with a volcanic gravy. Followed by a trifle.

Still can't figure out what Christmas is? Is it all that religious stuff, looking after the needy and old. or is it all of this any more and whatever you want it to be?

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Greyone

I had to smile Greyone It does sound like a typical Christmas! Sorry that you're dining alone but hope you have a relaxing day.

I think you've summed it up nicely, all of that and more or whatever you want.

Chloe x

Christmas is so meaningless when you have lost part of your heart. I cant listen or watch anything christmassy now. Its torture to see people going around being happy. Every advert on TV about christmas is like a dagger. I wish it wasn't everywhere.

Those of us who cannot cope with the pain of it have no escape from it.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to

You are so right Hidden

It is torture for those of us left behind and there seems to be no escape from the endless reminders, its been particularly bad this year. I do hope you can find some way of getting through this, thinking of you and all those in our position.

Chloe xx

kenster1 profile image
kenster1Volunteer

so far ive only got my tree up.i will do the rest tomorrow because the kids deserve better and that's whats important.i try to avoid all the songs as well mind you.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to kenster1

Kenny kenster1

You're doing okay my friend, do your best, that's all anyone can ask.

Always here

Chloe

Catwoman2018 profile image
Catwoman2018

Hi Chloe, I am finding it very hard to get in the Christmas spirit. I lost my mum a few months ago and although I have a very loving family, it's just not the same, I miss her so much. I can't put my tree up, I just can't face it. I have so many amazing Christmas memories of my mum but it's just too raw at moment. I will be all smiles for my grandchildren, but inside I'm hurting.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Hi Catwoman2018

Yes, it's so hard when our memories are so raw. This time of year and any other personal celebrations are very difficult to cope with {{{hugs}}}. I completely understand that you wouldn't want to celebrate but I do hope you will spend some time thinking of your dear Mum and some 'Me time' for yourself.

Chloe xx

You may also like...

Has anyone a recording of their...

loved one's voice that they've been able to listen to since their loss and how did you feel? I know...

Has anyone had a medium reading since your loss does anyone believe in them?

friends house.there was a group of us who went in one by one. I saw people come out sobbing.I was...

Virtual Christmas lunch

Bereavement Care & Share. I was thinking either 15th or 16th December, how is that for you? Please...

Christmas is going to be a difficult time for many of us

well<3 Have you thought how you might manage it? perhaps you've been invited out already. Chloe...

What's your pet hate at Christmas time?

all, it may be something you really don't like or something that is said to you. Let us know. My...