Father's Day I Still can't cope with.

[STAFFORD]

I Still find it hard to cope with Father's day because i still miss him dearly How do i get over this and now with losing my brother the reminder is still there because alot of the time was spent with me, my brother and my dad and i find it more upsetting.

Please could you help me as i still find it very hard to cope with.

I Feel like crying because i miss my father and my brother so much.

if any one has lost a father or brother i m always there for you as in any loss of a loved one.

Take care

Love

STAFFORD (STAFF)

XXXX

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hi STAFFORD

It is a very difficult day to face but try to remember, it is only 'a day' but your grieving goes on. Try to fill the day as much as possible, plan what you can do on that day, maybe something in remembrance like planting a shrub, going to a place you used to visit together, something that relates to them both. I would also make a memory box if you haven't already, fill it with photos, letters, presents they bought you, anything that reminds you of them and you can bring it out and go over the contents when you want to. You can decorate your Memory box with beads/anything that you feel is right for you.

Have you thought about trying to locate a local support group? they can be very helpful, may be worth exploring, also I think you would benefit from Bereavement Counselling or visiting, depending which Country you live.

May I ask how old you are STAFF? it may help me to find appropriate resources.

Chloe

[STAFFORD in reply to chloe40]

HI Chloe

Thank you for your advise i already have Bereavement counselling.

Iam 46 years old. iam 47 middle of next month.

talk to you soon

Stafford (Staff)

[Natsteveo]

Hi staff I feel your pain with father's day even after 10 years mother's day breaks my heart because everyone is rushing to spoil their mum's and rightfully they should just breaks my heart I can't do that I only get to light a candle. You will never get over losing your dad none of us get over our losses we just learn to live day by day without them. But I think we find it hard when anniversary and days like father's day approach because I think we find it tough that we can't spend it with them. But I do believe our loved ones never leave us. If you need to cry you cry, talk to your dad and Michael I do my mum. And on mother's day I ask her to leave me a sign she's around and I either see a butterfly a robin or I see a feather on the ground that sure reassures me.

Take care

Love nat xxx

[Anella]

Hi Staff, I agree with Natzsteveo concerning crying when you need to cry. My good friend lost her dad 2 years ago. Father's day isn't something that's a problem, however, when she has really great days or gets good news she gets sad because her father can't share in the celebration with her. She was beating herself up recently about still being emotional about his death. I reminded her about the brochure that we both have called When Someone You Love Dies. (I lost 9 family members in 1 year.) That brochure was soooo helpful. One of the points that I reminded her about was the fact that everyone grieves in different ways and with different levels of emotional intensity so it's best to stop trying to hold the pain and emotion in because it's been "2 years". Cry if you need to cry. Allow yourself to feel the emotions. It's so much harder when we try to avoid it and it relieves so much stress and pressure when we let it out. Believe it or not, it is the way we "cope" with a loss. Just because you may get emotional or feel down because of your loss, it doesn't mean that you are not coping. I'm here for you.

[Lperica10]

I feel for you. This is my first Father's Day since I lost my dad. Everything is a reminder right now that it is coming up.. greeting cards in stores, commercials for Father's Day, etc. I miss him soooooo much. Sometimes I do talk to him. I just wish I could go back and be with him. Thinking of you too.