Someone said 'Time is a healer' have ... - Bereavement Care ...

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Someone said 'Time is a healer' have you found that to be the case?

chloe40 profile imagechloe40Administrator26 Voters
11
No
10
Yes
5
Just when I thought I was getting through the journey, up it flared again!
19 Replies
GoGo_JoJo profile image
GoGo_JoJo

It definitely helps, yes, it pops up now and then without warning but the pain lessens over time, it's less raw.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to GoGo_JoJo

Thank you GoGo_JoJo

Chloe x

Celtic27 profile image
Celtic27

Hi chloe time is a great healer it's that people find there own ways of coping with there loss! I find that thinking of the happy times I had with my mother helps me cope better! I believe that if your thinking of the person they are in your heart!

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Celtic27

Thank you Celtic27

I like your sentiments, I can see that helps.

Chloe x

Ladybird25 profile image
Ladybird25

I thought that the passage of time would help to make things better, but sadly it hasn’t. Maybe one day, but not yet. Ive just celebrated my mother’s birthday and it was harder this year than last year.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Ladybird25

Thank you Ladybird25

I've found that too, we can never really know how it will affect us can we? birthdays and anniversaries are always difficult.

Chloe x

Greyone profile image
Greyone

Impersonally and addressing a truism, I find the question too broad. Personally - yes, in a very untutored way. My journey is unstructured, which makes healing more difficult. All I am equipped with is patience.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Greyone

Thank you Greyone

Chloe x

Caza profile image
Caza

For me no, I’ve just learnt to live along side of it & I guess that takes time.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Caza

Thank you Caza

I think you've hit the nail on the head there!

Chloe x

Midori profile image
Midori

Generally, I believe that time does, if not heal, then seals over the hurt to allow us to function again.

I voted for option 3 as I was constantly being knocked back, but my original problem was not the loss of a beloved partner, but one I'd come to fear, due to his abusive and violent behaviour. Even 25 years after his suicide, (another attempt to control me!). I think he didn't intend suicide, but misjudged his timings (he had tried before), always when things didn't go his way. He was a controller, every aspect of my life, and the children's, was controlled by him.

One morning when I woke up, I though 'Why am I letting him control me from beyond the grave?' and stopped enabling it.

Now we are a happy and mentally happy family, but I kick myself for letting it continue for 25 years! It nearly blighted my children's lives.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Midori

Thanks Midori for sharing this {{{hugs}}}

Chloe x

Will2015abc profile image
Will2015abc

Time isn’t a healer. It’s a cliche (impo). But time I feel allows us to integrate our grief into our lives enough to start re-engaging with life. It takes practice. I’m still practicing.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Will2015abc

Thank you Will2015abc

Yes indeed xx

Chloe

kenster1 profile image
kenster1Volunteer

I think the tears become less frequent but the pain remains the same.yesterday was my sons birthday I went to the flower shop for flowers and a candle and it was closed I had to improvise so I got lots of tiny bits of slate and wrote 26 today happy birthday son and two kisses.nearing 20 years but the pain never eases.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Oh Kenny kenster1

I wish I had your resolve {{{hugs}}}

Chloe

kenster1 profile image
kenster1Volunteer

I still cry I cried three weeks ago listening to macey gray her song was played at his funeral wigfield song Saturday night and r.e.m everybody hurts when ive had a few beers I listen to them and the tears flow but it helps.

jules2105 profile image
jules2105

It's been almost 6 years since we lost my dad, I still get upset from time to time but its not as painful x

socratesanne profile image
socratesanne

This is great. I just do not know how, after all this time, know how to use this system. I need to brouse more often and you are great at following up on folks. I appreciate this immensely.