What did you do to help yourself thro... - Bereavement Care ...

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What did you do to help yourself through grief?

chloe40 profile imagechloe40Administrator19 Voters

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11 Replies
JOLLYDOLLY profile image
JOLLYDOLLY

The reason I shut myself away was because of all the negativity I was getting from people who do not understand and also if I didn't go out, nothing else would go wrong. I didn't want to talk to people to be honest although bereavement counselling helped a little.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to JOLLYDOLLY

Thank you JOLLYDOLLY I completely understand why you would want to do this, I'm guilty of that myself, much {{{strength & love}}} t you and thank you!

Chloe

JOLLYDOLLY profile image
JOLLYDOLLY in reply to chloe40

Thank you Chloe40, It is bloody hard isn't and the worst pain in the world :( Love and strength to you as well and take care x

Nina78 profile image
Nina78

Shut my feelings away.trying to look after everyone else.after my mum died.after another two family members after that.i should have got a counciler.i didnt.then i had a melt down depression and anxiety.i wish i had some about my feeling earlier keeping the hurt in.isnt good.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Hi Nina78

Thanks for your reply. No, you're absolutely right, shutting your feelings away can only bring on more problems as you've found. So sorry that you've had anxiety and depression Nina and I hope you will reconsider seeking help, it's not too late to see a Counsellor.

Take good care of yourself.

Chloe

Lperica10 profile image
Lperica10

Let myself cry when I needed to, when I wanted to be alone I was alone, basically I allowed myself to feel my emotions and do what I needed when I needed. I also saw a therapist. I also have a lot of friends and family support. Everything in grief you have to do when you feel comfortable doing on your own time. Also I ate (too much) and now started a weight loss program so be careful of that. But no one could tell me different at the time.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Lperica10

Thank you Lperica10

I believe your way is what works best for grief, we have to learn to be comfortable with ourselves and do what we feel is right and when. x

Chloe

Kelly55 profile image
Kelly55

I also shut myself away, especially from people who didn’t seem to understand how broken I was losing my mum. But I started a new job with a charity and coincidentally my two colleagues had also lost their mums and I found talking to them helped. It still took 18 months to even begin to feel normal again though. I signed up for Cruz bereavement counselling 2/3 months after losing mum but a year later they offered me group counselling with ten others in same room. So I’ve requested counselling from GP, but over 6 months on still waiting. Thankfully my boyfriend, one or two friends, lots of crying and wine got me through the darkest times! Affordable counselling seems like gold dust ! Xx

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Hi Kelly55 for your reply,

The problem with most counselling services is they are not available when you need them. Unless you have friends and colleagues to help you through it's even harder to deal with.

Take care

Chloe

bunty65 profile image
bunty65

I shut myself away as much as I could but also entered into a circle of online gambling which has been really hard to break and is, of course, a downward spiral. I needed to feel something other than pain and guilt that goes with grief and people around me just didn't know how to help. I financially support the family and there always seems to be so much pressure

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Hi bunty65

I can understand shutting yourself away too. It must have been so hard for you especially being financial supporter for your family too. I do hope you are more settled now.

Best wishes

Chloe