Knotty7 years ago

I have not voted because -

1 Talking about him made my loss even more evident

2 Hiding away was not possible because I had started a new job just before he died (after I had been out of employment for 3 years) and had to work out how the funeral could be arranged (death had come so quickly and the nature of his illness had prevented discussion with him)

3 Sometimes the support from friends (I have no family) could itself be overwhelming and difficult to turn away from - the simple letters not needing a response were best

4 Holding his things would have emphasised the loss

5 Faith and prayer - lost that

chloe40Administrator7 years ago

Thank you for sharing Knotty, it helps to gain an insight into how we cope and make others realise that we all have different ways of getting through those dark days.

Take care

Chloe

jules21057 years ago

For me just having a list helped me to get through each day one day at a time

Jules x

chloe40Administrator7 years ago

Thank you Jules,

Did your list contain the things you needed to do that day because you couldn't think straight? sorry if this sounds like an intrusion, I just think it's a really helpful idea?

Chloe

security7 years ago

My wife was quite young when she passed away only 42yrs old My family were supportive and I had two young children at home to support to our new way of living with out mum...... Faith spiritually helped but we both knew my wife wouldn't live for long after years of I'll health......so we enjoyed our lives as much as we could before her death...

chloe40Administrator in reply to security7 years ago

Welcome security

That must have been very painful for you all and thank you for sharing.

Take care

Chloe

Reply (1)Report

Midori7 years ago

I have not voted in this as my husband suicided. As he was a violent drunk, I had no feelings left for him, except relief that my children and I would no longer have to tolerate his violent outbursts. This happened 26 years ago, when matrimonial abuse was swept under the carpet by police, etc.

chloe40Administrator in reply to Midori7 years ago

Hello Midori,

Words cannot express how sorry I am that you went through that hell. I am thankful that you felt able to share that and very pleased you have come through that awful period.

Take care

Chloe

Reply (1)Report

sweetiepye7 years ago

Talking to and about my brother keeps him with me in the only way I know how. I cannot bear to let him go completely . I have Faith and I know I will be with him again, but for now, I still need him. Pam

chloe40Administrator7 years ago

A warm welcome to Bereavement Care & Share Pam,

I think talking about our loved ones is the most natural thing in the world, sadly, many people find this so distressing that they try to block it out and this causes more pain and suffering I believe.

Chloe