Bloody Worried about my health

[allaric]

I am quite disturbed and scared since last few month or i say almost a year.I started to have concerns about my sexual health since last year after a stupid night abroad.

I am a healthy 31 years old guy. I got married in 2006 and i was virgin till then.Me and my wife had breakup after 6 months of marriage and we got separated in 2007 and divorced in 2009.I have described my sexual history as following :

No Test Done 1: 2006 - My wife - We had unprotected sexual intercourse many times but we never got tested for any STI or STD as we never had no problems or experienced anything as such.

No Test Done 2: 2008 - My Girlfriend A - I had a relationship with her for 3 months and we only had unprotected intercourse twice in 3 months.

HIV Test Done and both Negative 3: 2009 - My Girlfriend B - I had a relationship with this girl for 1 year and 6 months and during that time we had protected and unprotected intercourse and oral sex few many times.

She had STD and STI Test Done and All clean 4: 2011 - My Girlfriend C - We were in relationship for almost 2 years and we had protected and unprotected intercourse few many times .But we had unprotected intercourse just 2 to 3 times in whole 2 years and rest of the times it was just oral sex and i was always the receiver i never have performed oral on her.

5: 2013 - I went to holidays abroad with friends and one night got drunk n ended up with a an escort .We had protected intercourse and she performed oral on me for couple of minutes. She told me she was clean.I got so scarred after this incident and literally went into depression as it wasn’t me and i never done that before.

No Test Done 6: Mid 2013 - I met with one of my ex girlfriend and we ended up having a night of unprotected intercourse.

HIV Test Done i got negative in 2014. 7: 2014 - I met my current girlfriend and was scarred due to my past incidents therefore i got myself tested for HIV which was six months after my last incident and it came back negative. Since than i had protected intercourse with my girl friend 4 to 5 times till now and it was always protected except one time i performed oral on her .

This is my Life time history of sexual life. At this point of time i am super paranoid of sex and STD and STI.Everytime i get involved in any sexual activity with my girl friend i get paranoid.Its ruining my relationship.I am always looking for symptoms and keep checking my body.I wanna get married to my girlfriend and start life have kids .

Since last couple of days after a sensual night with my girlfriend and protected intercourse i have tiny patches on the crown of my penis i don’t know if its STD STI or any other infection ,But i have been looking on net and super scarred,

I don’t know if i ever be able to live a normal life again .Please help Me.

This paranoia of STD n STI making me so depressed that i am so scarred to even get tested .I am suicidal due to fear of this.Please let me know if i have chances of catching any STD STI as the i have only got myself tested for HIV twice once in 2012 was negative and once in 2014 May again Negative and since then i am with my girlfriend.

[kerryblue Administrator]

Hi

Sounds like you are going through a hard time. I am sure you have done all the right things but if you are worried please go to your local sexual health clinic as they would be happy to talk to you, hopefully give you some reassurance and also make sure you are correctly informed about risks etc. You mention HIV tests but if you haven't been tested for all the other stds then that would be worthwhile doing as well. Get your girlfriend to come with you for support and so you both can be reassured that you have done all you need to. Most importantly, if you are feeling low, please go and speak to your gp.