Loss of benefits

Hi to all, I'm new here and this is my first post. My 17 year old son has Aspergers and Dyspraxia and at aged 6 I was awarded Dla for him. He's been studying at college for the last two years. I'm not well myself with fibromyalgia, low cortisol levels which means I have to take steroids on a daily basis, and I have quite severe depression. My son leaves college next month and I've just found out that I will lose £169 a week. £20 of this is child benefit which I expected when he turns 18 but £149 I'm in disbelief how this can be justified and I'm very depressed about the future and how I'm going to cope. At present I give my son £50 a week to spend. I certainly won't be able to do that nor a lot of things. Has anyone been in this position? Although my son may be able to get a job at interview stage I worry about him keeping one due to lack of social skills. I just don't know how I'll be able to cope with basic living let alone anything else. So any other parents that have been in this position I'd like to hear how you coped with it. Thanks

11 Replies

  • There does seem to be a gap in the benefit system for these children, could you get him on another course until 18. When he can claim ESA. You could apply for an extension of child benefit of 20 weeks if you child registers with their local careers service, Connexions. They can help children with autism. Sorry only just seen your post.

  • Thanks, unfortunately I could not talk him into doing another year at college even though he didn't do very well. He's working part time selling Pretzels in Town. Could he register with Connexions even though he's working? Thanks

  • He should still be able to register with Connexions he may not be entitled to 20 weeks run on of child benefit it depends how many hours and how much he's earning. Well done to him for getting a job, a good start.

  • Ok thanks

  • Hi, my son is working 12 hours per week and he is also getting ESA. Contact work solutions at your local council.

  • Thanks Dottie, but my son works almost full time...for £5 per hour...it's terrible pay but he doesn't want to claim benefits.....he's happy working. And I couldn't persuade him nor do I think he'd be entitled. But thanks xx

  • Hi just seen this didn't know they had a group on HU either.

    Many councils have an Adult services for autism you can contact them(not sure where you are?)As im under my one have group sessions about it at there centre plus other places can go via them and you can get a social worker.

    He does come under the mental health act.

    I was talking to a lady one night down in bow while back going through a similar situation so your not alone.

    Please feel free to chat anytime always happy to help.

  • Thanks Oscarbravo. Danny is 18 almost 19...he hates talking about his diagnosis but accepts he has it. He feels as though he's being put down re his AS..he is not. I don't even think he'd agree to speak to a benefits assessor. So I may have to ask my GP to write and explain that

  • The best way to deal with it is to talk and face it so out in the open and understood it then become not real big deal.

    I got a card from my Adult Services says Autism alert i show if stopped or in hospital etc so they understand about me and how deal with things.

    As police etc have to deal with you differently give you more time to answer questions plus even bring someone in to help.

    Ive learn't a lot over last few years about it i know quite a few that have it also so can relate to them as my friends young boy has it and causing big issues they bully him in school for one to which i said you do know one day he will react/go for them big time! he said yes that is what he is worried about as his son isn't a small boy quite a lump.

    Up in Islington City Road N1 there is the National Autism Society autism.org.uk/

    Another thing with it what effects you also effects him as we sense many things in a different way to others but we think it's our fault/something against him rather than understanding it isn't.

    It is hard to deal with sometimes getting things out.

    But feel free if need any help

    Garry by the way.

  • Hi Garry

    Dan's dad tried to convince him he didn't have Aspergers and my ex made it sound quite shameful to Dan, so much so that Dan stopped taking his sleep med Melatonin...because he dad told him it was only for ppl with Aspergers and as he didn't have it, he didn't need it. I had a shattered looking son for months. So we just don't talk about it because I know it'll set Dan off with " I don't want to talk about it" and he can get very stubborn. He has a girlfriend who is very good for him...but she will only whisper that she thinks Dan has it. No-one wants to upset him that's why we don't talk about it. I have one of those cards on Aspergers you talk about...explains the behaviour. So it really is a hard one

  • Hi tell him nothing shameful about asperger's many very famous people had/have it.

    Has some great sides to it as you can be very ahead of many people when dealing with things and we often are the person when others are loosing there heads in situations like the grenfell fire!.

    So don't let him think hes bad or at fault having it as not the case as it's one of those things that happen that no one knows why!.

    Just like is it a childs fault born blind/deaf/Downs/or any other Disability?.

    One thing talking about it is he learns the signs/signals about how it effects him and how others see/perceive him.

    It then helps to go/move forward.

    Hope that helps.

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