I also have depression which is clinical because I feel that I am slow and stupid. Can you believe that my mother is a teacher? I feel that my ugliness, low self esteem, shyness, and innocence is something that she didn't help work with but she worked against that she saved better in my 2 youngest sisters....I think that she secretly worked behind me to help them succeed. I know that. But. As I think about my sisters upbringing, it worked against myself which she disciplined me. I rebelled especially she didn't help me deal with the childhood sexual molestation. I find it hard to concentrate in school that I am now disabled with mental illnesses. Yet it is me that I fight for my life......I find a special guy, calling career, Recoveries, and Myself in all this...Can you believe that? I have my mother and sisters speechless!!! I worked on my self that getting sick is a blessing that they put me into because I empowered and became a stronger woman.....I have dreams that I want to tell you is possible if you believe in yourself. As I write this, it helps me to overcome the pain that is in my past that I learn to take care of I have to be go where I stopped with my grandparents. Sure this could sound unbelievable but I worked and I continue to work to better myself...........................Thank you.

2 Replies

  • Reading this....I was really down on myself. I think that I overlooked the good in myself, my mother, and my family. I had time to reflect on my psychotherapy session which I guess I fell back to self loathing behavior.......this is shameful but honest to admit. I really apologized for "acting out" as a lot of unresolved issues got address to hatred instead of communication. I've learned that I have to talk to and not let little things or anything eat me up emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. I guess I thought I would come here but I just made a mess. Also, this is a start......I am expressing my hurt eventhough it childhood. I learn that I have to work with this and that this is not all true. There is more sides to this. I should be openminded and kind to other perspective not just to mind. They all have probably good reasons to explain....if I hear them out, right?

  • I've learned from this that this is just going to get me sicker. I don't want to go that route again...............Like me, everyone is human. Everyone deserve forgiveness and second chance. At first, I have to forgive my family and myself.

    Thank you.