I am trying to get this forever ongoing “flare” under control. I am doing all the right things. I am eating better. Exercising more. And I am trying to reduce stress in my life. Since March, that has been so difficult.
My father died March 2nd, leaving my mother totally depressed and a mess. I just moved to this new city, 3 hours away, for my work. My mother has never been alone in her life (married my dad at 19. She is 77 now). The pandemic hit and Where we lived closed down. She has many close family around her, so they were with her when she and I were not able to travel to see each other. Every day, since March, she calls me to tell me how this friend or that friend’s daughter was so much better than me...because the dropped everything to move back in with their widowed mother to take care of her. My mother is very mobile, healthy, and totally capable of living on her own unassisted. I call every single day (and I get spoken down too every single day. She refuses to do things she loves to do with close family and friends because I am not there. When I go visit, all I end up doing is hanging out with. A bunch of 80 year olds, watching them play cards. This is not the life I want to be living right now. And yet, I am SO stressed and feel so guilty.
I don’t know what to do! I can’t move back home - there are no jobs and I have a huge student loan to pay back for going into medicine. I love my job and I live living here. I needed to move away. My dad’s last words to me and my mother was that my mother needs to let me go live my life. But she isn’t making it easier. I think this is what is causing most of my stress, which is causing me to have these asthma episodes. I just started a new job in neurology ICU, which also adds to my stress (but I love it!). I just don’t know what to do.
Sorry to post this, but I am at a loss on how to deal with this.