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Husband on frontlines, looking for others in similar situation

Smile1209 profile image
22 Replies

Hi,

I'm new and looking for others living with someone on the frontlines and with asthma. My husband is an anesthesiologist and is working directly with patients who have tested positive for COVID-19. In other words intubating and putting them on vents. We are taking all the precautions aside from him moving out which it might come to that at some point. He changes from his scrubs to new scrubs before he leaves work then in the garage changes from those scrubs and then takes a shower and puts on new clothes. He is in the master bedroom with the bathroom and I am sleeping in another room and use a different bathroom. We sit more than six feet apart if we are in the same room and most of the time we are in different rooms. I have cabinets that I don't let him touch and we don't share any food. But I still have sometimes incapacitating anxiety. When I get a cold I get sick with my asthma for weeks. The last cold he had my asthma was not under-control for 4 weeks even with 2x day albuterol and steroid nebulizer treatments and my regular maintenance meds.(Breo)

Any other suggestions of what I can do?

Thank you in advance!!

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Smile1209 profile image
Smile1209
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22 Replies
Pipsqueak77 profile image
Pipsqueak77

Hi Smile1209

I really feel for you - it sounds like you are doing all you can though.

My husband also works for the nhs in hospital but thankfully he is not directly involved with Covid patients. But I know how anxious you must feel. It adds so much pressure to an already awful situation.

We have a similar protocol - in that he showers and changes when he gets in but we have two children as well which just adds to the situation.

I don’t have any extra to add because I feel that you are doing all the right things... as a last resort as you say he could move away for a bit. I know some of my husbands colleagues have done this but that is no easy thing to do.

Sorry I am not much help - but just hang in there - we will beat this awful virus...!

Take care 😊😊😊👍

Smile1209 profile image
Smile1209 in reply to Pipsqueak77

HI Pipsqueak77,

Thank you for your kind words. It just helps to know I am not alone. It is such a stressful situation and yes with kids it must make it more so. Mine are 21 - she's home my other is 25.

Please take care of yourself!

Poobah profile image
Poobah

This is so difficult for both of you. I can understand your anxiety - the invisible is so scary. But it must be very hard for your husband and his need to relax away from the front line, which has probably never been so challenging.

You both have needs in this situation and it definitely sounds like you're both doing an excellent job in minimising the risks.

Not sharing cutlery, towels, tea towels, plates, cups et. Which means he is doing his own laundry and washing up. I can't think of anything else.

It's going to be normal to feel concern about the risk, however, you're both doing everything you can so you need to say to yourself that you have control of the situation.

Smile1209 profile image
Smile1209 in reply to Poobah

Hi Poobah,

Thank you for your support! Yes the invisible is scary. We are trying to relax by watching movies and sports but just by the mere fact that I am sitting in as I say Antarctica - all the way on the other side of the room - the anxiety is always in my face.

Take care of yourself!

Yatzy profile image
Yatzy

I can’t add anything else to what has already been said, Smile, you’ve set up an excellent, though I’m sure frustrating, system. Asthma is so difficult to live with through all this.

Big thanks to your husband though for his very difficult, skilled hard work on behalf of us all ❤️

Wishing you both the very best of luck xx

Smile1209 profile image
Smile1209 in reply to Yatzy

Hi Yatzy,

Thank you for your post and well wishes. Having asthma alone is scary, so yes on top having this is hard. Being heard and understood is helping. Thank you! Take care of yourself.

Kiiam profile image
Kiiam

Hi there Smile 1209, it is worrying and I empathise with you. My son lives with me and is a paramedic and is coming into contact COVid 19 every day. My severe asthma and adrenal insufficiency puts me in the very venerable group, so even the 12 weeks self isolating , isn’t really isolating.

It sounds as if you are, as with us, doing everything you can, to stay safe, and I think that we just have to just be very aware, if any symptoms appear we jump on them as soon as they appear, and to not being afraid to contact the 111 Covid hotline, if your unsure.

My thoughts are with you , and as your user name suggests keep smiling , and stay as positive as the actions you have already taken ❤️❤️❤️

Smile1209 profile image
Smile1209 in reply to Kiiam

Hi Kilam,

Yes, one of my biggest concerns is that all the isolating in the world is not really isolating if I am living with someone who works with COVID-19 patients. It is a scary position to be in on top of being high risk. It is as I have said elsewhere comforting to know I am understood. I hope we all stay safe and this ends soon. Thank you for your support! Take care of yourself!

GFloss profile image
GFloss

What a nightmare situation for you both right now - certainly thinking of you there! It sounds like you really are taking as many precautions as you can in terms of your practical day-to-day measures. It's good that you also have the option of living apart temporarily if need be. The only other thing I'd like to add is that it could be well worth getting some support for your mental health right now. This also helps to support the immune system (through a reduction in stress and anxiety) and generally help you gain a sense of control in these awful times. For such an intense period of anxiety, I'd be inclined to book some virtual sessions with a qualified psychotherapist if budget allows. I've only seen local NHS practitioners previously but have Harleytherapy.com bookmarked as an option if I ever need more immediate support. You can pick people by reviews and budget etc. and they have urgent appointments available. I'd also really up your relaxation techniques and hobbies right now to support your mental health and create some distraction.

Smile1209 profile image
Smile1209 in reply to GFloss

Hi GFloss,

Thanks for your support and caring advise. It is helping to hear from so many that I am doing all I can do. I just wish I would not be so scared. Everyone here has been so kind. I will look into speaking to someone and I definitely need to work on redirecting my stress to hobbies etc.

I knit so I think I will start to make a scarf. I also write but have not had the focus to do so. I love to listen to music too. There was an app I had once that one could make a "toolbox" of ways to cope such as quotes, pics, music etc. I need to see if I can find this again. Take care of yourself too!

GFloss profile image
GFloss in reply to Smile1209

It's a pleasure and what a fantastic community we have on here! Hoping you're already starting to enjoy your hobbies a little more - it sounds like you have some wonderful ones!

hilary39 profile image
hilary39

It sounds like you are doing everything right! Kudos to you for handling a difficult situation thoughtfully and cautiously. Your husband is a brave man doing such important things but as a vulnerable person, I can only imagine how scary his job must feel to you right now!

I hope I can share some hope and resilience with you. I have severe asthma and adrenal insufficiency and I am on day 10 of covid and slowly recovering. It has been a difficult and scary week and a half but I am focusing on being calm and positive, staying in constant contact with my doctors, resting and hydrating, and generally coping as best I can.

I was SO scared to get the virus and seem to have gotten it during a routine grocery store run despite wearing a mask and gloves, staying several meters away from everyone, and desanitizing everything I bought :/

If you do contract the virus please feel free to reach out to me ASAP and I can share more about my experience and everything I did to care for myself.

Take good care and keep us posted how it’s going!

Sending a hug.

Smile1209 profile image
Smile1209 in reply to hilary39

Oh my goodness! I hope you are feeling better - how very scary! Thankfully you seem to have good doctors supporting you! I am glad you are taking care of yourself and am so glad you are on the road to recovery. I cannot imagine what you are going through but my thoughts are with you and thank you for sharing! Thank you so much for your kind words.

hilary39 profile image
hilary39 in reply to Smile1209

I'm just trying to share some optimism and hope for people with health conditions who are scared to get it. I'm so grateful to be on the mend though frustrated that the jury is still out as to whether people who recover are immune or can get it again :/ Take good care, get lots of rest and vitamins!! Hugs.

Smile1209 profile image
Smile1209 in reply to hilary39

Glad you are on the mend! I too wish there was a clear cut answer on the immunity. Take car of yourself!

watergazer profile image
watergazer

Hi smile it sounds like you got everything in place to protect yourself . Just need to keep to your own utensils, towels , plates, bedroom as you are doing. What a nightmare for you. Take care. x Anita

Smile1209 profile image
Smile1209 in reply to watergazer

Hi Anita,

Thanks for your well wishes! It is helping me to see that others feel I am doing all I can do.

Please take care of yourself as well!

MEZZ1 profile image
MEZZ1

Hi, I'm mezz1, it sounds like you are doing everything right. You are lucky that you have a house ,which allows you the space to do this . I have family who work for the NHS one of them as caught covid off a patient, she is now a patient herself, my son's girlfriend also works for the the NHS but she is not on the front line. So we don't know who as infected Laura. Don't take this the wrong way but it sounds like you panic a lot. This isn't good for the asthma, last year I had a panic attack which was not pleasant, I have been under a lot of stress,due to my husband and his mum . I also helped to look after my dad , who sadly passed away October 2019.with loads of health conditions, one being Alzheimer's. I have severe asthma ,and developed an airway obstruction in 2018 , so life sucks a lot now . I put myself at risk everytime I walk out of my door , due to virus's floating in the air ,smoke,peoples perfumes, the list is endless. But panic attacks won't help , I normally do exercise at my gym but they are in lock down. And I hate being stuck indoors. I like to be out and about. I'm a fighter, I'm not ready to die yet , but we can only do our best relax ,and hope they find a cure . Good luck and try to relax more in this stressful situation.

Smile1209 profile image
Smile1209

Hi Mezz1,

Thank you for your post. Believe it or not your "don't take it wrong but it sounds like you panic a lot" made me laugh. Yes, my baseline is anxiety as I tell people, so this whole situation has made my anxiety sometimes unbearable. I do feel it is justified but at the same time I know that this level of anxiety can only make my health more at risk. So, I hope connecting with others as I am doing, and trying to distract with things I like to do will help.

Before this all happened I spent most of my time volunteering with the homeless and writing. I think I need to try to take some of this nervous energy and help someone else. I like talking on the phone so I might find a local organization to make "friendly senior phone calls." I do hope you continue to take care of yourself. You do have a lot on your plate. Stay well and safe. Your family is lucky to have you. Thank you again for your well wishes.

Emer1000 profile image
Emer1000

Take Manuka Honey, 400mgo it really does keep cold & infections away. Half a teaspoon every day.

su-mo profile image
su-mo

Used to be chronic asthmatic for 45 years,(7 types of medication,don.t ask) then started taking serrapeptase ( proteolytic enzyme) capsules 10 years ago: added probiotic capsules 5 years ago & built up my immunity & have not had a chest infection or cold for over 5 years. Was very sceptical about taking these but read up on clinical trials and Dr Michael Moseley,s advocacy of pre & probiotics. Now 75 not out ( no meds) still running: still cycling and converted to healthy eating.Lets hope it gets me through this lot! N.B. Used to have 3/4 chest infections a year. Belt & Braces take C B D Oil as well as Manuka Honey!

Smile1209 profile image
Smile1209 in reply to su-mo

Hi su-mu

Thank you for your post - I will look into it, I'm always interested in new information! I am glad to have found this site! Stay safe and stay well!

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