‘Asthma Demons’ (a song parody 😉)

[EmmaF91]

‘Asthma Demons’ (tune: Demons by imagine dragons)

When the days are cold/And your lungs both fold/And the pump you used/Don’t make lungs win gold

When you can’t exhale /And the docs you hail/Are the worst of all/Breathing please don’t fail

Just want to tell the truth/But they won’t listen to you/But with no wheeze inside/Steve’s just learnt how to hide

But after you have pled /They try out what you said/It’s now you time to breathe/It’s now your time to breathe!

When you feel the need/Go to A&E/Cough, wheeze, your breathings gone/Cough, wheeze, your breathings gone

Doctor does the rounds/Peak flow has fallen down/Nebs, mag, Hydrocortisone/Nebs, mag, Hydrocortisone

But your heart rates high/‘Nebs make it reach the sky’/You try to explain/The doc just thinks you lie

So the fluids are hung/High heart rates not undone/Try not to roll you eyes/No Nebs but please don’t cry

Anxious? No you are not/Emotions though are shot/Predisolone for you/Your plans for sleep undo

But after you have pled /They try out what you said/It’s now you time to breathe/It’s now your time to breathe!

When you feel the need/Go to A&E/Cough, wheeze, your breathings gone/Cough, wheeze, your breathings gone

Doctor does the rounds/Peak flow has fallen down/Nebs, mag, Hydrocortisone/Nebs, mag, Hydrocortisone

They say it’s way to late/Don’t want to tempt out fate/‘Let’s just admit you now’/Try not to raise your brow

Your eyes, they shine so bright/No longer need to fight/Cause they have listen to you/And you can breathe now too!

When you feel the need/Go to A&E/Cough, wheeze, your breathings gone/Cough, wheeze, your breathings gone

Doctor does the rounds/Peak flow has fallen down/Nebs, mag, Hydrocortisone/Nebs, mag, Hydrocortisone

I may have got bored at work... just a bit of fun😅. Hope you enjoy the parody. Anyone have their own song parody phrases? 😅I

[Lysistrata Administrator Community Ambassador]

Love it! This describes my recent trip to A and E so well...if you end with the fluids verse lol.

Tbf had other times where we can get all the way to the end.

I love song parodies and have played around with a few on this topic...though sometimes get stuck. Maybe need to revisit some.

Breathe by the Prodigy describes most of my resp clinic experiences and how I felt, without need for alteration. genius.com/amp/The-prodigy-...

[Lysistrata Administrator Community Ambassador]

For those times when they don't get it, I give you Tragedy! (Going to do a more cheerful one now I think. Plenty of times they have been good and I've got treatment, but this kind of jumped out at me as sooo adaptable for when they're not):

Here I lie

In a lost and lonely cubicle

Nearly 4 hours

In a lack of nebs I slowly gasp

Going home

I just can't make it all alone

I really should be nebbing, nebbing

Getting mag, getting mag

Tragedy

When the inhaler's gone and you can't go on

It's tragedy

When they stop your nebs and you don't know why

It's hard to bear

With no mag to help you

You're going nowhere

Tragedy

When you lose control and peak flow's in a hole

It's tragedy

When the morning comes and you still can't move

It's hard to bear

With no mag inside you

You're going nowhere

Night and day

There's a burning down inside of me, oh

Burning lungs with obstruction that won't let me be

Down I go

And I just can't take it all alone

I really should be nebbing, nebbing

Getting mag, getting mag

Tragedy

When you lose control and peak flow's in a hole

It's tragedy

When the morning comes and you still can't move

It's hard to bear

With no mag inside you

You're going nowhere

[Lysistrata Administrator Community Ambassador]

And on a more positive note, Lung Power! (I'm pretty sure it's obvious what this is based on lol). I will stop now I think lol. Clearly too bored

Ha ha ha ha ha

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

I wanna, (gasp) I wanna, (gasp) I wanna, (gasp) I wanna, (gasp)

I wanna really, really, really wanna neb-a-neb-ah

If you want my future, listen to my past

If you wanna get me better, better make it fast

Now don't go wasting this precious time

Get your stuff together I could be just fine

I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

I wanna, (gasp) I wanna, (gasp) I wanna, (gasp) I wanna, (gasp)

I wanna really, really, really wanna neb-a-neb-ah

If you wanna fix me, you gotta read my stuff

(Gotta read my stuff)

Make it last for longer, learning never ends

If you wanna fix me, you have got to learn

Textbook is too easy, but that's the way it is

Oh, what do you think about that

Now you know how I feel

Say, you can handle my lungs, are you for real

(Are you for real)

I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try

If you really nail it then asthma says goodbye

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

I wanna, (gasp) I wanna, (gasp) I wanna, (gasp) I wanna, (gasp)

I wanna really, really, really wanna neb-a-neb-ah

If you wanna fix me, you gotta read my stuff

(Gotta read my stuff)

Make it last for longer, learning never ends

If you wanna fix me, you have got to learn

Textbook is too easy, but that's the way it is

So, here's a story from A to Z

You wanna fix me, you gotta listen carefully

We got EmGeeSO4 in the store who makes you breathe more

You got Atro like NEB who likes it on a...

Easy Amino doesn't come for free, she's a real lady

And as for me, ha you'll see

Slam the IV in and wind it all around

Slam the IV in and wind it all around

If you wanna fix me, you gotta read my stuff

(Gotta read my stuff)

Make it last for longer, learning never ends

If you wanna fix me, you have got to learn

Textbook is too easy, but that's the way it is

If you wanna fix me

You gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta

Slam, slam, slam, slam (make it last for longer)

Slam the IV in and wind it all around

Slam the IV in and wind it all around

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

Slam the IV in and wind it all around

Slam the IV in and neb-a-neb-ah

If you wanna fix me

[EmmaF91 Community Ambassador in reply to Lysistrata]

😂😂

[CANINE12]

These are so funny, I won't be able to keep a straight face if I end up in A&E again. just as well I'll be too short of breath otherwise I'll be tempted to start singing 😂🤣

[EmmaF91 Community Ambassador in reply to CANINE12]

Just something to pass the time

[EmmaF91 Community Ambassador]

Have a neb (tune:Shake it out Florence + the machines)

Symptoms collect like old ‘friends’/Here to relive my darkest moments/I just cannot breathe, I just cannot breathe

And all of the drugs come out to play/Every doctor wants his textbook case/But I like to keep things interesting/I like to keep my sats up high/Though always I’m worst during the night

And I like to cough but I don’t wheeze/ And the vent I can never leave/ I need a&e, I need a&e

I am the one who is famous here/ The staff can always hear me as I near/ Tonight the team gives me almost nothing to fear/So I’ll try to keep my pred head back/But it's always hardest when sleep is lacked

Have a neb, have a neb/Have a neb, have a neb/ooh wheeze!/ Have a neb, have a neb/Have a neb, have a neb/loose wheeze/ And it's hard to sleep with asthma in my chest/ So have a neb, don’t cough

And now they give me magnesium/as they check me for bacterium/also give me hydrocortisone/sleep tonight will now be disowned

Have a neb, have a neb/Have a neb, have a neb/ooh wheeze/ Have a neb, have a neb/Have a neb, have a neb/loose wheeze/ And it's hard to sleep with asthma in my chest/ So have a neb, don’t cough

Yes I’ve tried to sleep with asthma in my chest/But the medics tell me off if I try to rest/Aminophylline time, and then they will admit/always feels better if you’ve been fixed (No wheeze)

And I'm damned if I good and I'm damned if I not/Midnight feast in the dark in bed in AMU/And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope/The doc in the morn will get I can’t cope

'Cause having the med’cine, took the wheeze outta me/ having the med’cine tho, doesn’t mean I can breathe. /So hopefully now their gonna listen to me

No home yet, no home yet/No home yet, no home yet/there’s wheeze

No home yet, no home yet/No home yet, no home yet/there’s wheeze

And it's hard to talk with asthma in my chest/So have more nebs (loose wheeze)

One night more, one night more/one night more, one night more (no nebs)/don’t need nebs, don’t need vent/don’t need neb, don’t be vent (can breathe)

And I can now dance as no asthma on my on my chest/We chased it off (yippee)

I’m now free, I’m now free/ I’m now free, I’m now free (no Cough)/ I can breathe, I can breathe/ I can breathe, I can breathe (finally)/And I can now dance as no asthma on my on my chest/We chased it off (yippee)

(Train journey well spent 😅)

[EmmaF91 Community Ambassador]

Home?? (Song: Photograph by Ed Sheeran)

Asthma can hurt, asthma can hurt sometimes/Salb is the one thing that I have/Breathing gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes/Meds are the only thing that keeps us all alive

Docs keep these drugs as their backups/For when our lungs wont work for themselves/when our airways are all closing/breathing is now broken/ And life’s seems to be frozen still

So they can keep me/inside the hosp, yes on a trolley/using a steth ‘do your lungs wheeze?’/lets get those IVs going in, wait for nebs to switch on

Doctors can heal, doctors can mend your lungs/And it's the only thing that I know, know/ I swear it will get easier/ Remember that with every a&e/(wheeze) and they’re the best thing - they can make sure we don’t die

(Wheeze) Docs keep these drugs as their backups/For when our lungs wont work for themselves/when our airways are all closing/breathing is now broken/ And life’s seems to be frozen still

So they can keep me/inside the hosp, yes on a trolley/using a steth ‘do your lungs wheeze?’/lets get those IVs going in

And if you fix me/you’re a brill’ant doctor, only ABGs/inside my wrists you may hurt me/And I won't ever punch you out/

Can I maintain and go home?/Can I maintain and go home?/Can I maintain and go home?

I think you’ve fixed me/sitting here doctor there is no wheeze/let me go loo, cause I need to pee/it’s only down the corridor

I think you fix me/you’re a brill’ant doctor, can I leave please/inside my chest it is asthma free/lemme get back to’my cubicle

Now I am back/ you listen to me, to my chest wheeze/ watching you walk back to your stations screen/ and Hearing you whisper through the phone/ "No she cannot now go home"

[EmmaF91 Community Ambassador]

I’m an Ostrich (song: I’m a mess by Ed Sheeran)

Oh I'm a mess right now/breathings out/Searching for a ventolin pump/But this is not the end/I can't fix it up/why?/was going through the motions/not doing to much

And oh, I've known it for the longest time/That if I am bad, I should not run/All my brain wants is to ignore the signs/when I’m outside and having some fun/ fun, fun, fun, fun

Feel the pain inside my lungs/It feels so tight, I better have some drugs/Shh, Stupid breathing, maybe I should a&e/

But right now, just gonna take my drugs/Put my faith in my ‘haler

I messed up this time/Late last night/Drinking to celebrate friends/forgot my pump at home/I can't shake this feeling now/We're going to hospital/Triggers please stop

And oh, lung you only cause me pain, you know/For all of my fun Peak flow will be low/embarrassment hits/when I am in hosp, explaining you’re fits/fits, fits, fits, fits

Feel the pain inside my lungs/It feels so tight, I better have some drugs/Shh, Stupid breathing, I’m in hospital/

And right now, they’re gonna give more drugs/Put my faith in my doctors

And for how long will I love my lungs?/For how long will I love my lungs, and neb, neb/For how long will I love my lungs, neb, neb/For how long will I love my lungs, neb, neb

For how long, long will I love my lungs, neb, neb (lungs I give you love)/For how long, long will I love my lungs, neb, neb (I feel it all over now, now, and I give you love)/For how long, long will I love my lungs, neb, neb (I will listen to’ya now, and will give you love)/For how long, long will I love my lungs, neb, neb (Will you both calm down now, now?, and I have given you love)/For how long, long will I love my lungs, neb, neb (I will listen to’ya now, and will give you love)/For how long, long will I love my lungs, neb, neb (Will you both calm down now, now?, and I have given you love)/

For how long, long will I love my lungs, neb, neb/For how long, long will I listen to my lungs?

[hilary39]

This is so impressive!

[EmmaF91 Community Ambassador in reply to hilary39]

💁‍♀️😂😂 songs to try and sing when you can’t breathe 😉😂