Well silly me forced myself to go back to work yesterday as: a) I don’t get sick pay yet b) our IT department are useless and can’t sort my remote access and c) I like to be seen to be making an effort in an attempt to stop the bitchy comments.
Today I’m now back in A&E after my third attack in a week because I tried to do too much! I’m physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted and the paramedics didn’t seem in any great rush to get me here despite the fact I could barely keep my eyes open and was in tears (unusual for me) I know they’re only doing their job but telling me not to get upset as I’ll only make it worse and then telling me you appreciate how difficult it is (I don’t think you do mate, no offence) just isn’t helpful!
I hate to sound selfish and forgive me if I do, but my partner is stressed with work at the moment so his anxiety is worse and subsequently he can’t deal with me, my asthma and hospitals and told me the other night he needed me to be strong for him. I did point out, probably very unsympathetically that I can just about be strong for myself, let alone anybody else at the moment! Am I terrible?