Im hiding asthma

[Moon1997]

Hi , I'm 20 years old . I have to write this or I'm gonna to explode.

I want to share my experience about this . When I was born supposedly according to what my parents tell me I had "respiratory problems " but not only when I was a baby, but also when I was in my childhood ( I don't remeber anything) . Then...now... the thing is that ...When I was about 14 years old, I began to experience the symptoms of asthma, especially an uncontrollable dry cough, wheezing and chest tightness. At that time I attended a medical appointment with my father and there the doctors told me, possibly it was asthma, they gave me a rx of chest and the radiologist doctor thought that it was also asthma. they gave me inhalers and I improved greatly. But when these medications ran out, the issue in my house also ended (for 2 months approximately I had the meds ).

It was then the next year when the symptoms returned and I really did not want to say anything and I preferred to hide it (I have hidden it and I will continue to hide it) because when I was 15 my mother got cancer and I did not want to add any weight to the situation in home . That's how I told my two best friends, what I telling all of you now and they supported me. I took the prescription that I had and I bought the medicines and I continued taking them until I turned 17, but this was really exhausting because I had to play to hide the inhalers. I know you may have commented that this is a lie, but no. In addition, you will think... Why she didn't say anything? , well ... at that time I did not say anything because my mother was sick for 2 years and later her recovery was focused on not adding more worries. And because after this my mom is a hypochondriac, so I do not want to tell this at home.

I would love for you to know and laugh at all the things I had to do to hide the inhalers every time I returned from high school. Sometimes I got caught by my mom who had the meds in my bag (because she checked my suitcase) and had to say that my friend had been lost in school and that she was very clueless and that I picked them up so she would not lose them.

Then when I finished high school three years ago , I decided not to take the medication again because I wanted to present to the military. Although for another reasons ( no health) I didn't go to the army ,but I decided that I could live without medication.

Now I'm in college studying RN nursing and I want to tell you, that for reasons like stress or I know , in the first semester I thought... I had to take the medication again, actually my asthma came back and hit me harder than could .

I couldn't walk a full block and had to stop my friends because I couldn't breathe, but I just told them , hey ! I had asthma (without any further details). Likewise some teachers found out( because my symptoms are really obviously) and now half the world knows it. But I'm afraid too, you wonder, why? .

Well, I would like that u analyze the matter , from this point of view, my mother is a hypochondriac and besides this, now she has changed and it turns out that any health problem that I have is my fault, so it is not the most favorable conditions to say this at home and I hope I do not have any attacks in my house because I would really be punished by this home. And my biggest fear is that if something happened in the university and they call my parents and tell them that I had an attack or something like that, they would surely say that WTF ...this is shit , it is a lie or I do not know, because for them I do not have any illness.

I know you will also say that this was really long, but I feel better having told it. Now my best friends are in other cities and I do not have anyone to say this to, since I find it very difficult to tell, besides I already told you, I do not take any medication (this makes me laugh because it sounds like I'm in drugs, hahaha I have not taken anything for 3 years and a half and it sucks), because I have huge symptoms every day and seriously I am struggling with trying to think that I hope that asthma calms down and have other quiet months.

By the way, I thought I was the only crazy girl who "hides asthma" and I've really come to think that I should leave the matter , but I do not know what to do

Thanks , and if u are reading this , I can only say thank you, thank you for allowing me to share this through this page

[ChrissieMons]

Goodness me! You need counselling. It’s a lot to unravel and you shouldn’t have to go on living like this. Your university should have a counselling service which you can access quickly. Your health and your future is very important so get it sorted. Happiness and good health is waiting for you, so go and find them.

[Sparkywoo]

You are seriously putting your life at risk if you do not get proper, regular medical support for your asthma. I appreciate the challenges with your mother and it sounds like counselling around your family situation may help. You are an adult and training to do a responsible job. Please be responsible about your own health too x

[Moon1997]

Thank you for your comments . Yes, I thought about attending the medical assistance offered by the university these days, so your comments have made me reflect.

About tell with my family, that is a point where I will remain inflexible , cuz my family is really weird about illness

[strongmouse]

Hello it must be hard to hide your illness. Children go to amazing lenghts to hide some things from their parents. You sound very creative in the ways that you found to manage your inhalers and keep it secret!

As an adult now and embarking on a wonderful career it is important to look after yourself. There is no need to hide your asthma from other people around you. It is a well recognised illness. I know the first time I used an inhaler in public it felt strange but no-one made a big deal about it, other than to check I was ok and needed no further help. Yes do talk to to medical assistance at your university. It is important that you manage your health and you will find other people react very differently to your family.

[Moon1997 in reply to strongmouse]

Thanks for ur support, yeah I had so much ridiculous ways to hide the meds . About some friends at the university ...well I can say that sometimes is difficult cuz we have to talk about this thing frequently( u know ...nursing) and they just want to punch my face hahaha bc I'm not taking my treatment seriously and when I 've attacks I don't 've my vent .

Furthermore I really feel that I'm going against absolutely everything I have learned , and I'm wondering WTF I'm doing right know with my life . I've to say that my health university program can't afford the meds then I've to save for it, but I can get free med appointment.

Sorry If my english sucks , actually I moved to South America and Im learning spanish ... And I've a mix on my brain about different languages