I was on this forum a while back but I have lost my details so I'm back haha
Basically, I have nothing against my nearest hospital. I'd sing their praises any day, honestly they are fantastic and have so many great attributes. Almost everyone I've met has been fantastic, the food is pretty good, I have an issue with some textures and they have always been 100% accommodating etc. etc..
But I've been in a lot with life-threatening asthma attacks. It's terrifying as many of you will know. When you can't speak and you can't breathe and your life is in the hands of other people it's honestly so f*cking awful. And how quickly you can go from fine to "oh wow I could literally die"..then how quickly you go from being wheeled into resus and hooked up to things to 7 or 8 or so hours later when you're stabilised, you can talk ok, you can breathe, and you're looking to be transferred out of resus. It's crazy.
I'm usually in for 6-14 days, as the crash is very quick but the recovery is always very slow and rocky with me. So is a fair amount of time to be in *just* for an asthma attack given most people are in for a few days. At my hospital I always get my own room, and then at visiting times one or both of my parents will come with ready meals and wheel me down to the 24/7 room off the side of the restaurant which has a microwave and is always subdued lighting and pretty deserted. We heat the food up and play some games for a couple of hours. Then they wheel me back and leave me alone in my room for the night.
And my God is the night depressing.
But anyway the thing is, every time I come for normal stuff like outpatient appointments I just feel really really tearful and stuff. It's stupid I know but that's how it is. I came today and I'm sat there writing this now today and it feels like I'm here to stay and it's so depressing. I have to take deep breaths and swallow because there's a lump in my throat threatening to make my lip quiver and the tears spill. It's fine if I talk to someone so thankfully there's no risk of randomly bursting into tears in front of a consultant or blood nurse lol but still :/
Idk does anyone else get this?