Hello. This is my first post and I just wanted to ask some advice. I was diagnosed with asthma nearly 25 years ago, when I first started at universty, and throughout my 20's it was pretty uncontrolled, but largely I think due to lifestyle and not taking meds serioulsy enough. I had pneumonia twice and pleuricy, plus countless chest infections. I moved out of London 12 years ago and since then have been much better, and, with the agreement of the GP, have not needed to take any meds for about 3 years. 3 weeks ago I ended up admitted to hospital with the most sever and near fatal attack I have ever had, and have been pretty much bed bound ever since.
The attack scared me, as it is the first time it was that out of control and unresponsive, and for the first time I have faced the potential severity of what it means to be asthmatic. Also the attack seemed to come on out of nowhere: I was in good health, just a mild sorethroat a couple of days before, I developed a cough and stayed home in bed thinking that I would rest it away, and feeling quite proud that, probably for the first time, I was taking it seriously.
I am now on a variety of inhalers and tablets but the asthma is still not controlled and I am still exhausted and off work. I am also feeling isolated and a wide range of emotions, mostly negative, and I feel completely at sea. I don't know what to do to get better, but when I do start to improve I then deteriorate again, almost as though worrying about having a setback causes one to happen.
I think I have spent most of my asthmatic life in denial, and now that I am trying to do things carefully and properly I have no idea what to do. I read the post about peoples perception of "its only asthma" and I think this is a view that I have had about myself all these years. I have never allowed enough time to fully revover from illness and infections before and 3 weeks is feeling like an age. However, I am feeling guilty and sneaky about being off work, and yet I am also terrified of returning to work / returning to life and getting sick again. Does it take this long to recover from a bad attack and should I continue to rest, or could my fear be contributing to my not getting better?
I realise that everyone's experiences will be different, but any thoughts or ideas would be much appreciated.