So, I start University for the second time at the end of the month (yes, the second time, you'd think I would have learned the first time!). Anyway, I travelled the 8-hour journey by car on my own and successfully found myself a rented flat. The problem? I have tried to move in twice now, and my depression has gone off the scale! I found myself sitting on the sofa, unable to eat or sleep, crying my heart out whilst my chest got tighter and tighter, which just made me more upset! I have tried to understand what is making me so upset and can only think that it is a mixture of things (loneliness, fear of the unknown, a big change etc).
I obviously have to go back in a couple of weeks before term starts and I am REALLY trying not to dread it. This was what I wanted - the course I wanted and the start of the career path I always dreamed of - so what is wrong with me?!
I have been in touch with a local animal sanctuary as I am really interested in fostering cats with kittens who aren't old enough to be put up for adoption. Basically, I look after them until they reach a certain age then I take them back to the sanctuary for adoption. I'm looking forward to this - it will be company for me when I'm not at uni, plus I get little fluffballs to play with and look after whilst knowing that I am having a hand in their most vulnerable stage in life. And yes, I will have to give them back but I will always get another litter (sanctuary are always overflowing) and I cannot commit to having an animal on a full-time basis as I will be travelling back to my parents' house for the holidays etc.
I have lived on my own and prefer this to having a flatmate(s) and can only HOPE that I will settle once term begins.
Anyway, sorry for the rant! Hope all are well!