The last 4 months were rough for me in term of asthma. 3 big attacks, intubated every time and the last one went wrong. I wasn't sedated enough, they use the ""normal"" dose of sedative and I need a bigger dose so I was awake and I felt everything. I stay a bit traumatized by this experience.
When I have an attack, I have many hours, sometimes many days, to react before it gets to the point that I need to be intubated. The problem is that I'm a poor sensor according to one of the pneumologist I saw. According to my psychologist, I'm not just a poor sensor, I have psychic dissociation mechanisms in case I feel I'm in danger or in distress. When those mechanisms are ""ON"", I don't feel emotions, distress, pain or, when I can feel it, it's kind of a numbed version of it. These mechanisms kicked in when I have hard times with my breathing.
Because all my feelings are numbed or just absent, when breathing become hard I perceived it as an discomfort. If I tried to use a scale like 0 to 10, 0 = breathing very easy and 10 = breathing is too hard, I can't graduate from 1 to 9. For me, it's the same feeling. I know when I'm at 10 because I feel too tired to breathe.
I tried to explain this many times to my pneumologist, but she doesn't understand how far it goes.
I tried to find someone in a similar situation in regard to the (lack of) perception of breathing or someone who have clues to help me evaluate my breathing.