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Difference of opinions.

Laughaminute profile image
6 Replies

Recently on this board I've noticed several times that as soon as anyone posts an opinion different to the majority on any individual thread they are immediately flamed as being unsympathetic or at worst rude or patronising.

I thought the point of these boards is to be able to ask questions, gain advice and opinions and express yourself.

We are all individual, and whilst we may all share an interest in asthma in its many forms, I doubt that we will ever all agree on everything that is written on this board.

I'd like to think most people are able to take the advice and opinions offered and use to their advantage without the need to immediately get upset if someone's reply doesn't agree with your own feelings.

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Laughaminute profile image
Laughaminute
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6 Replies
Annista profile image
Annista

Hi Fedup.

Thank you for bringing this up - I'm guessing that you are hoping for a sensible discucssion on the subject so I'll start.

You are right in what you say, but I think that I should mention that one of the problems we all have is what our medication does to us. I'm not normally known for being bad tempered or taking offence but I know that when I'm awash with preventers and relievers and pred I'm sooooooooooo easily annoyed or upset.

As you say, we all have differing thoughts and opinions and should be able to ask questions and have a discussion without over-reacting. But we're only human and mostly full of chemicals so these things can easily flare up and the main thing is to act like an adult - have your say if you must, make your apologies if you should - and then let it go and not bear grudges.

Of course, some posts are deliberately rude or offensive and they deserve to be brought to the attention of the moderators.

The difficulty is telling the difference!

Laughaminute profile image
Laughaminute

Thankyou Annista for your reply.

You are so right about the effects of medications, I'm on a long term high dose of pred,and can be fine one day and then have the most awful pred rage the next!

I do agree, the posts deliberately written to cause offence or upset should be dealt with.

I think it's sad that it seems some are not able to offer help, advice a different course of action etc without others being intolerant.

We should be able to take what we want from these boards and then get on with our lives, without all the over reacting.

Ive learnt valuable information from these boards, and been given advice etc, some of which I've used and some I've chosen to ignore, but do we really need to get so upset over members comments?!!

its tricky. ignoring posts which are just rude (which can be dealt with by reporting), i think it is partly pred making a lot of people feel a bit over annoyed/sensitive, and partly because a lot of the time when people post on here it is when they are feeling unwell, and that can make you feel vulnerable and over-sensitive. And i do think that therefore it is kinder to really think through what you are saying when you make a comment (more so than you might do under normal circumstances) especially one which might not be what the person wants to hear. That said - it is not your fault if someone is feeling over sensitive, and i know that some pretty good advice is not on any level what i want to hear (i DO NOT want to think that that msg thingy in chinese takeaways could be triggering attacks) but that doesnt mean it isnt beneficial to me to be told it (but i really like chinese takeaway!!! shows how messed up my brains priorities are)

i agree that these boards can be really useful, and you do have to ignore some stuff that is not relevant (i think the only way to make all the posts relvant is if we all post our entire medical history on here - people are bound to make suggestions of things that have already been tried/ are not relevant for some reason) I think its a shame when people say offensive things, as it tends to stunt the discussion somewhat, and i think usually the same thing can be said without causing offense!

I have to say though - i generally find these boards really great, and most of the people on here and lovely and its a great place to try and get your head around everything thats going on :-)

I'll just add a quick note here from my side of the fence.

Moderating this kind of is it/isn't it post, where offence may be taken where none was intended, is a nightmare. Most of the time we let things ride unless they are obviously an attack on another member.

Sometimes we do notice posts moving in a direction we're not happy about, and in those cases (as happened at the end of last month) one of us will post a general message about it. If this message is ignored then we will act. We also take a look at each members recent posts to see if there's a pattern in their posting that suggests a warning may be in order.

I don't post here often, and avoid getting involved in the day-to-day conversations on the forum so that I can look on any incident as an outsider.

Completely agree Fedup!

yaf_user681_30355 profile image
yaf_user681_30355

I absolutely agree we are entitled to different opinions. The only time I have a problem is when it is against an individual and gets personal.

None of us truly know one another on here, the written word can only give us a '2D' impression of our personalities and lives and we all come on here for different reasons, whether it be for advice, support or just company. Also, some of us our bound to be more 'chatty' than others and I think this can be a trigger of annoyance. If I am getting bored or annoyed with something I stop reading it, that is in my control, I don't think I have the right to stop that person being who they are.

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