Asthma UK community forum

What to do with the children?! Please help!

I escaped from costa over the weekend, yippee!!

But my hubby has had to go overseas for a couple of weeks, leaving me with our three children alone. Whilst being awake most of the night again was having random thoughts, one of which was what can I do if I need hospital again whilst he is away?

We live hundreds of miles from family, and to be honest none of them would put themselves out to come and help, they seem oblivoius to how bad my brittle asthma is.

I know my neighbour would look after them for a couple of hours, but she wouldn't be able to have them longer. All my friends have their own kids or are away.

So was wondering are there any other options? Other than not going to costa when I need to?!

I really want to try to sort something out, as I can feel my lungs building up to something again, don't want to be in emergency situation and then also have the kids to worry about.

3 Replies

First of all don't get stressed out as this is only going to make the situation much more difficult. Second I think you need to see your GP about the situation because this is very much a family problem that needs to be addressed now. A long time a go another friend of mine had similar issues with child care, and lack of family support when she was ill. Hospital was a regular occurrence often as an emergency. So together we approached our local social services department, and found her daughter lovely foster parents. The foster parents were wonderful, took wonderful care of her daughter and always were available at a drop of a hat. Your children need to know that when Mummy is poorly they have a safe place, because I am sure they feel concerned too about what happens to them when Mummy is poorly.

I would also get in touch with your family again and try and see if they can support you,and explain what you might have to do if their support is not available. Not because you are trying to make them feel guilty, but because you need to show how difficult your health problems are making providing for your children's wellbeing in an emergency situation.

No one wants to worry about what will happen to the children if they are ill and cannot cope, but I urge everyone, to talk this over with their partners and family, as it can happen to anyone , and it is far better to have an action plan in place rather than leave it all hanging in the balance.

I hope you don't get really unwell and need to return to hospital, but if you do wish you a quick recovery.


Thank you so much for your reply.

I hadnt even thought to speak to my GP, and she is one of the rare ones, fantastic and on my side!

I will try to talk to my family again, but they are great at saying they will help out, but have never lifted a finger when Ive really needed it.

My mum just says keep taking the tablets! If only it was that easy!! Wouldnt mind if it was a tablet, more like 7 different tablet, 2 inhalers and, nebuliser every 4 hours, and thats on a good day!

I really hate it when the children see me having an acute attack, thankfully they are usually at school when its happened, allthough on one occasion I was struggling and was so worried about them seeing the 1st responder, local medic and ambulance turn up ( I live in the sticks so get local medic!!), dont know what I worried for, the boys thought it was fantastic to have 5 paramedics in the house,they didnt even notice mum going blue in the corner!

I will definately speak with my GP, am just waiting for her to call me back!

Thanks again for your advice, very useful.


Hi ellie,

Does your mum have a real picture of what your asthma is like and what it entails med wise for you? My mum had no idea until she came with me to hospital during an attack as I'd always kind of played down to others what its really like.

After she saw an attack (not one of my worst by a long stretch), she has been much more supportive.

If like me you've played it down, now might be the time for an honest chat.

Take care.



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