So went out to a play/fringe festival and drinks afterward this evening. It was with a friend but there were also some people there who belong to a socialising club thing that we used to be members of (actually I met her through it).
One of the people there was the pharmacist at Boots, one of the two who knows me well! She clearly recognised me (I know she knows me as she greets me by name now when I go in) and I recognised her but it was a bit awkward really - we were sitting around a table talking to the same people but not really to each other! I guess it's odd for her to meet someone socially that she sees as a patient at work, and I'm just used to discussing my endless round of asthma drugs with her and accidentally admitting how many puffs of reliever I sometimes have in a day.
Anyway, she seems nice but have to say it was pretty awkward - don't know how much she remembers about individuals but I'm there a lot (which is why she knows me) and she knows a lot more about my medical history etc than most people I spend time with in the pub lol. I guess I should be glad it's asthma meds and not something more embarrassing (could be even more awkward socialising with someone who knows the ins and outs of your bowel condition).
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I know that Dr Cath is not a fan of visiting our local-ish huge shopping centre (one of the Westfield mega-malls) because it's very close to her practice area and she has a good chance of bumping into one of her patients there!
On a not-medical but related note, I'm a musician (I play keyboards for ballroom and sequence dancing all over the Midlands) and often bump into folks who go to the social dances that I regularly play for when I visit the supermarket. I dread the times when they greet me with something like, ""Hello Steve. When are you next playing at our place?"", because I usually don't have the foggiest idea who they are, never mind which venue they normally go to! My stock response is, ""Oh, I'm not sure. I only remember what I'm doing this week"", which is fine except for the time I said this to one couple only to be playing at ""their place"" on the following evening!
Ooooo philomela, awkward!!!
It must have been that do we/don't we acknowledge this moment?
Yep, and there was a moment where the person sitting next to her asked my name and introduced herself, at which point it might have made sense for her to do the same, except that would have been weird as I know her name and she knows mine (plus my address, my GP's name, my phone number etc etc etc).
Definitely could have been a lot more awkward though - remember reading about a woman who said she'd been at a party and suddenly recognised the doctor who'd delivered her baby not that long ago! She said in the hospital she hadn't cared what he could see and just wanted to get the baby out, but in a social situation it suddenly became a little embarrassing.
Patient confidentiality is a weird thing... If she had said hello to you and chatted to you she'd have been implying she knew you and your friends might have asked how she knew you and then she could have got her self in a sticky situation saying that you were her patient as you might not have wanted your friends to know. I think the best thing to do would have been to say hello so she knew you were okay to chat.
I used to find it really weird that doctors I knew would essentially pretend not to know me on ward rounds but then I realised it was for my own good and would be a bit awkward if my peers found out I knew every other doctor because of my stupid lungs. Now if it happens I just smile at them and get on with whatever I should be doing. Sometimes it's harder if a doctors treated me but only once or something and they recognize me but don't know where from so start asking questions; do I know you? or have I met you somewhere? I normally just say I don't think so!
Yeah I guess I should have done - was figuring it was awkward for her but then I also wasn't sure how to say hello and chat without exactly the same thing happening (and I didn't actually know these other people that well so really didn't want to get into it; in front of friends it might have been different).
Hoepfully she wasn't offended or anything that I didn't say hello as she'll have been aware of all this - I do recognise her and don't want to be rude but like you say could create problems! Hopefully as I don't work in a medical setting I'm less likely to run into any doctors I know.
Here's a weird one:
OH and I are about to start fertility treatment.
We were called in to our last appointment and walked into the room to find our consultant is someone we know from church! :-0
From a doctor perspective...if I see one of my patients, I will normally smile and nod, then wait for them to make the ""next move"" if they want. If they don't, no problem. Much like I don't necessarily want to talk shop outside work, I also appreciate that people may not want to interact socially with someone they've discussed their piles with.
However, I must say - to medics, and I guess, most all health professionals, bodies are just bodies. There aren't any embarrassing bits from our perspective (that's not to say that we don't appreciate that they can be embarrassing to patients). So, if you see someone who's had to look an embarrassing bit of your body, don't worry thinking that that's what they're also thinking about. To us, you're a person with a medical condition, not a medical condition belonging to a person. If you see what I mean.
As a sexual health nurse you can imagine that seeing patients outside work could potentially be most embarrassing for them.....so I don't even acknowledge people outside work unless they specifically speak to me and expect a response. As Cath says, I'm not embarrassed but can completely understand that they might be! Don't have any problem with chatting to someone without making any reference to how I know them
Thanks - I see your points. I think it could have been less awkward but I didn't quite know how to handle it as I didn't want her to feel like I might buttonhole her and start asking her 'shop' questions (which I would never do but perhaps some people might, I don't know), and I guess like Ally said she didn't want to inadvertently bring something up that I didn't want to be aired in a social situation.
I think in this case, for me it's less embarrassment than me being socially inept and finding it odd interacting socially with someone that I normally have a very particular professional relationship with. I used to feel this way about seeing teachers outside school when I was younger!
Yep it definitely happens to us teachers too! I work with pre-schoolers now and they are convinced that we live at school and will usually just stand completely silently and stare at you like you've grown an extra head - its even worse if my friend who I work with and I are out together or if I'm out with my girls and they call me Mummy!!
Bless their little cotton socks... unfortunately it doesn't carry on once they see you back at school they suddenly become their old noisy selves again!
The local cycling club which I used to ride with was good, one of the other members is a GP at the practice which I use and riding partner of my GP, I actually never found it a problem, and neither did some of the other guys who was a patient of this GP. Although we did all call him by his first name from their on in, even when seeing him at the surgery
woody, one of my friends actually calls her GP by his first name anyway - when seeing him in a professional capacity. Her reasoning is if he's allowed to call her by her first name then it's the same the other way round - fortunately from what she's told me he doesn't see this as a problem.
I'm a teacher and if any of my pupils called me by my first name i would not be pleased at all. Fortunately i don't have to interact with them outside school.
I had an auntie and uncle who were both teachers (brother and sister) and one of them had the other's child in the class - now THAT would've been weird!!
This is very true - I think it's different for a teacher as your pupils are generally schoolchildren (I found it really weird when I left school and one of my 6th form teachers who'd taught me in very small classes quite reasonably said 'please call me Amanda now' - took me a while to get used to it!)
I think with a doctor, if the patient is also an adult, it's not unreasonable for the patient to use first names if they do. Though I'm never sure in reality: my GP uses my first name and uses his own first name when he signs off in emails (we do emails for questions so I don't have to keep coming in just to ask him something) so it would probably be reasonable of me to use his first name in appts but for some reason I find it weird and end up not calling him anything to his face (which isn't unusual as you can talk to someone without using their name).
My cons is always Prof J_ and likes to keep things more formal though he did use my first name after a bit (which weirdly is also his daughter's name - not going to say on here but it's a relatively unusual one).
i know what you mean about the turning point when you stop calling a teacher mr / miss etc and use their first name - i'm now very good friends with my former flute teacher but when it first sort of morphed from pupil-teacher to friends it took me AGES to be able to call her Angela and even longer to be comfortable doing it.
Now i'm a peripatetic (travelling) teacher my former head of 6th form is a deputy head in one of my schools and i see her semi-regularly around the school but i'm still not sure i'd feel comfortable calling her by her first name even though we're sort-of colleagues :-s
When i left 6th form i did write a poem to my music teachers and i used their first names in the poem - i gave each of them a copy and neither mentioned it
My kids are in their 30s and all their friends call me by my first name. Just the other month I met a girl who'd been at school with the older one and addressed me as with my surname. Mrs xxxx. I said don't be silly, call me Moira but she said no, if its ok I'll just call you by your proper name. Met my husband a day or so later and again it was Mr Mxxx. Seems a bit strange but then I found it very difficult to call our older, by 30 yrs,neighbour, Isabel instead of Mrs Clark.
So maybe I can see where she's coming from.
Philomela, I have had similar but in reverse and not so awkward. Met a pharmacist, housemate of friends on a night out where we were all having a good chat and a bit of a singsong (being St Patricks Day I think) over a few drinks. I didn't think much more til saw someone familiar at work after. Moment of vague recognition on both parts. Then it became surreal as they do regular shifts at my usual pharmacy.
Tend to bump into staff from my GP practice more. One lives opposite - do not see them for some procedures, far too embarrrassing even as health prof. I do bump into GPs, practice manager and others around occasionally.
As a health professional, agree as work in a particular area. I would not mention it first, people may not want the reminder. There is patient confidentiality too. Rarely bump into patients outside as work in a town rather than city and they come from a large geographical area. No large shopping centres nearby, Peaksteve & Cath. Often don't have the foggiest idea either as I remember names far better than faces.
Woody-som , tend to generally use first name basis esp at work. Doctors find it easier for patients to pronounce their first rather than surnames. We generally check what patients prefer to be called and more often than not it can be a totally different first name. Found it very awkward when I was called by title and surname by a GP same age as me, far too formal and felt so old. That won't happen again ;)!
Whilst walking down the street on a Sunday a car pulls up beside me and it turns out to be my cons on his way back from the gym! We had a very awkward conversation about my lack of breathing, especially as I was with my bf who before I introduced my cons thought he was a fellow student (he is young ish for a cons!)
I address most doctors on my resp team by their first names ... I know them that well! Bit awkward when I meet them in a med student/colleague situation as I feel I should address them as dr rather than by first name :s
I am a health professional working in Gynaecology, I saw a relative in the waiting room the other day and had to just ignore her as she might not have wanted me to know she was ever there, and obviously after that occasion I never mentioned to her or anyone that I'd seen her. Felt guilty for ignoring her, but better that than embarrass her.
Also bumped into an ex patient at school drop off, who cheerily said hi, then you could see the penny drop as to where she knew me from!! Needless to say, we never spoke again!
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