I'm gettin out of the bad living conditions!!

After three years living in one room with mike, I'm going back to my mums to live. As things are, we havnt split up (though the relationship is quite on the rocks, but were working at it) its just I cant live here anymore and if we still are together in a years time, THEN we can get a flat.

Thing is its not a silver lining, the whole situation has been exceptionally stressful and kinda hurting. i was wondering if anyone could give me some advice on things, i know i should follow my heart but its as lost as i am atm

3 Replies

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  • Sorry things aren't good. Maybe a breather away from the stress is a good idea but make sure you stay in regular contact. Things may look very different once you are able to llok at it from a different angle. The most important thing is that you keep talking. Once the communication line is closed you won't get anywhere. Try writing your feelings down on paper for him to read and get him to do the same for you. It is hard to read what someone else has written about you but make sure you both start and finish with the positive. Always try to balance a negative with a positive. Hard but it is worth te challenge - you may even find that there is a lot more positive than negatives in your relationship.

    This is just a suggestion, I am no expert but have been married for 22 years and through that time have gone through difficult accomodation situations, several housemoves, financial difficulties, 3 births and a child bereavement and health issues, so maybe you could say I have some experience behind me.

    You can pm me if you think I can be of any help. Hope you manage to sort things out for the best.

    Ange xx

  • Hi Wendy

    why are you moving out? If you are having problems and haven't actually split up wouldn't it be best to stay put and try and work things out? If you move back home the space between you might make things worse, on the other hand it might make you appreciate each other more. It really depends on what the problems between you are about, I can't really give you any advice as I don't know the full story but maybe try talking to your parents or someone who you trust or if you want you can pm me

    lejaya x

  • I have many reasons why I have to do this. The main three are

    1. His family home is THE reason my asthma returned as it smoky, covered in animal hair and as his mum is ill (not her fault by any means) the house is very dusty and in need of repairs to the plumbing so our bedroom is damp and often cold with a barely working radiator

    2. Between us, we are only able to go in to one room, this is because of remarks from his sister and to a lesser extent his brother. This has meant that we have had no space. The other one is always there and it is very frustrating if you just want to do your own thing and has been the main cause of our fights.

    3. I think over time, we have taken each other for granted. We need to appreaciate what the other one does, from kind gestures like making each other a drink to big things like me doing all the washing and cleaning in our room.

    I'm not saying that the time away will solve everything, but its as Angela said, we need to get a new angle on this if theres any chance of it budding.

    sorry for the essay, its been on my mind for weeks and ive been getting very upset about everything

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