partners

my husband is killing me with kindness!! i know he loves me, but he wants to keep me wrapped in bubble wrap. he has gone from being my partner to being my nurse and it is driving me mad. he says i am selfish if i take a risk (like walking about) i have two kids one 12 and one 17, i want my husband back and although i have tried to talk to him, live is for living and all that, our relationship as far as husband and wife is concerned is none existant (can't spell either). i am now waiting an appointmen t from brompton. help what can i say to him to make a difference i know he is frightened, i tend to make a joke of everything as that is my way of dealing with it, then don't have to think about asthma (only day and night). sorry to go on, he does work full time so at least i can sneak about during the day!!

take care all lisa xx

7 Replies

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  • I hope you dont mind me replying to this as Hops partner?

    Its very hard to see the one you love suffering you just feel so helpless.

    I know i dont wrap Kirsten up and stop her doing things as she just ignores me and does them regardless! but what i do try and do is reason with her and let he know im there for her whatever her decision.

    Making jokes of things can be a way of hiding your feelings i certainly make regualr jokes about how long Hops actuall been in/out of costa and isnt she getting withdrawlsfrom the place, i know this does bug her but she realises that its how i cope with her frquent admissions.

    Me and hop have an agreement that i wont do stuff for her unless she asks or its obvious that she needs help, you do need your own space and its cerrtainly not selfish trying to do things within reasonand occasionally take calculated risks as well(i do hate it when she does though)

    If i was you i would sit down and try again to talk with your other half and let him know how you are feeling, but make sure you tell him that you are grateful that he cares but its a bit OTT and u need some breathing space. sorry to ramble hope this helps a little from the other side! Good luck at the Brompton

  • partners

    thanks very much for your supportive comments, i do try and understand that he cares and it must be difficult for al my family as there is nothing physically they can do. your reply was great and i am going to get him to read it and see if we can try and sort out something

    than you luv lisa

  • I really feel for you it is so hard for our partners. I am fortunate cause mine is horizontal his most famous comment being 'let me know when I should get worried' but sometimes I wish he would notice more. He would not dream of telling me what to do but interjects the odd is this sensible!

    He relies on me to ask when I need help which works for us too although the kids often tell me to sit down and take over!

    I really hope Brompton can help I have just starteed the trail to get in fot their tests and then I am hoping things can be improved.

    Talking the only way top find a balance in this

    Love Den

  • My husband is fantastic about my asthma, though I do worry about the pressure which is puts on him. He is so good when I am admitted, and makes sure the A&E doctors know which drugs work best. He has spent many a time in HDU watching me struggle and I hate it that he sees me like this. I worry that he might get fed up of it one day. I know I'm fed up the asthma situation. He does act as my ""voice of reason"" sometimes though!!! It's good to have someone to tell you that you should be going to hospital. We know we should be there, but somehow, when faced with the choice between hospital and home, logical thinking dissappears!!

  • hi

    everyone for your positive comments, my hubby has been much better lately, especially as i have not. i think with me it was about losing control over situations, howevere things are improving between us even if my asthma is rubbish at the moment, still you can't have it all ways. i also worry about the pressure families must feel, as they are mostly helpless.

    take care all love lisa xx

  • my bf molly coddles at times, but i ignore him and do what i want to do, hes great during attacks and always carrys a medicine card with him, just in case.

  • Hey,

    My fiancee was really freaked at first but after i beat his worries outta him (metaphorically speaking) he talked them through and now hes a real angel about it. At times he can still get a bit over protective at which point i tell him i won't be beaten by it and secondly remind him that hes a nurse and should know that asthmatics aren't supposed to just roll over and sit in a corner doing nothing. Maybe you should take him to see your nurse at your gp's so he can talk through his worries too, and maybe she'll be able to help him understand better.

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