Fluffy is so down - please cheer me up! xxx

Hi everyone.

I know it's been a while since I dropped by to say Hi so here I am! I hope everyone is ok and feeling well. To everyone who isn't or hasn't been well of late I send you big fluffy hugs and kisses and wish you all well. Big kisses too - XXX

As some of my friends here know, sometimes I get a bit down and lately I've been battling my mood. I've had my heart broken recently by someone I never thought capable and I'm not dealing with it very well. It's made me feel very hurt and let down and brought my stress levels right up again. In turn it's made my asthma bad and I had a big attack which put me in hopsital for 12 days. I'm home now but the house is empty and I'm lonely. I know it sounds sad but it's true. I'm bloated and ugly with Pred and I feel generally crap and worthless. I hate feeling like this and wish I could snap out of it but I don't seem able to. I went out with a friend last night but i felt like everyone was looking at me and thinking I was some grotesque fat monster when I know deep down they weren't.

I feel bad about myself and I'm not sure why. I have a terrible habit of putting 100% into a relationship of any sort, be it family, friends or love and am constantly let down. I feel so hurt and fed up. I know my appearance has knocked my confidence but I'm helpless to do much about that as we all the dreaded Pred effects! I just want to find someone who cares about me and wants to be with me and it seems impossible. I've been to my doctor but all I'm offered is antidepressants and I don't want them. I want to feel attractive and sexy like I used to do and not like some fat miserable woman no one wants to be around. I know everyone will say looksa ren't important but the truth is that clearly they are as even when I'm PredPorky and cheerful I'm unlucky in love. I'm so frustrated I could cry - in fact I am now.

I'm so sorry to vanish for months and then turn up full of misery but I really don't know what to do and I desperately need a hug.

Much love to all, Fluffy. xxx

16 Replies

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  • Fluffy, sorry you're having such a rough time at the moment emotionally and that you have such a low image of yourself. I had a pretty poor self-image on and off for years until I made the effort to lose a lot of weight but that was years ago when my asthma was easily forgotten about. Recently, when I started to get really low again I decided to try and lose the weight I had put on through comfort eating and and courses of pred again. I went to my doctor and he sent me on a GP referral fitness scheme where you could go to the gym and have a personal trainer who keeps a close eye on you the whole session. I haven't lost any weight yet but my body is definitely more trim and my asthma has improved as a result. I still have frequent splats but recover from them a lot quicker. I also feel a lot better about myself, meet others who are having smilar difficulties with fitness so we all encourage each other to keep going. It's worth a try.

  • Fluffy huge hugs been there recently and know how you feel even now went shopping with cousin yesterday to get b'day pressie for me for in week or so and everything she suggested i wasn't interested in normally will try stuff but all she got was whats point size want don't fit so not worth trying so not even in mood for shopping. exercise wise its pain cause can cope with 12 min on treadmill on slow and varing gradients and then gentle hill on bike for 3 min buyt then pay later with chest and pf. life isn't fair tat mo for us so inviting you to my imajinary feel bette party where we look great in all moirrors everything we want to do we can and all clothes we fancy fit in size we want to wear but most of all there is a special room wjhere if you need a hug puts you in a chair and sends out hugs by the dozen till you feel better.

    Hope that helps if you just don't think i need nearest looney bin.

    hughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughug

  • Hi Fluffy, don't know you but sorry to hear you're so lonely and sad. Been there, done that and know exactly how you feel. So big hugs coming your way

    ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( FLUFFY ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) )

    Now Fluffy, one of the sexiest and most glamorous women I know is a VERY big lady. But she always looks absolutely gorgeous, beautiful hair and makeup, high heels, fishnets, sexy clothes (and I mean short skirts and tight tops!) But because she has such confidence in herself, she looks GREAT. You've had a bad knock and, as you say, your confidence is right down. I recommend some serious pampering. New hairstyle, makeup advice, massage and body brushing, new clothes, a complete makeover. It doesn't have to cost a lot. Tell friends how bad you feel and get them to spoil you too. Once you feel good about yourself, other people will respond positively to that. If you're depressed, and you sound it, take the antidepressants Fluffy, I think they're a godsend when life is really giving you grief. But perhaps ask for some counselling too - you sound like you have issues about why you choose the wrong men etc which you really need to talk over.

    Just for this evening tho, have a lovely bubble bath, open a bottle of wine, put ""I Will Survive"" on if you have it, sing along at the top of your voice, and promise yourself that tomorrow is the start of the new you, who refuses to take crap from anyone, someone who is a lovely caring person (I can tell that from your first paragraph, bothering about other people first) and who deserves to be loved. If you don't see that in yourself Fluffy, other people won't either.

    You've had a bad time and are probably suffering from pred mood swings, but bad times pass and lead to good times again

    Go girl!

    Polly xxxxxxxxxxx

  • hey fluffy sending mega hugs your way in cyberspace!

    Now, as the the size and sexiness - think of all those glam but larger women on the telly - Dawn French, Ruby Wax etc - I'm sure you can think of more than me, cos I don't even have a telly! So don't tell me big ain't beautiful, I'm not having it!

    And as for feeling bleah on pred, that is completely understandable. I find that I go round the twist on pred, and have to be on antidepressants when I am on it, but not when I'm not - so I'm on them most of the time this year but hey ho. Sometimes we need the chemicals in our brains fixed cos the pred makes them go haywire, so they can be quite helpful, but I agree not the only way forward.

    If you are feeling that some of the talking therapies might help, there is a good online psychology type website that one of my friends was recommended while waiting to see the psychologist (cos the waiting list is huge) - if you are interested pm me and I will look out the link for you.

    Anyway, big hugs for now and hope you are feeling a wee bit better soon.

    Love sarah

  • HUGE HUGS Fluffy ((((((((((((((((((((((Fluffy)))))))))))))))))))))

  • loads of hugs fluffy

    ))))))))))))))hugs(((((((((((((

  • Oh, fluffy, sending HUGE fluffy hugs to you XXXXXX

    I am sorry you are feeling so down and peed off with everything at the mo.

    Years ago, I felt fat & pred loaded & hiddeous but I did manage without any anti depressants - I was so determined and so against taking them but I did feel better in the end - I talked to people and had good supporting consultant.

    My main reason for feeling happier was gaining control of my asthma - It took years though doing it my determined way.

    But please do what you are happy doing even if it does mean taking anti Ds. (Everyone is different)

    Talking of fat sexy women - Jo Brand??

    If you are confident / happy and big, you can be beautiful!

    Huggs & Love

    Kate

    XXX

  • Fluffy

    sending big hugs

    I know exactly how yu feel re your size and pred, as Owl suggested sometimes meds are needed to help sort out the mes pred causes and i know that without them I would have been in very serious problems a number of times.

    Have you tried writing down how you feel and then ripping it up ,I find it very therapeutic it really helps you to let rip without doing anything bad??!!

    Please feel free to pm me if you wanta chat anytime hun

    ((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  • Overwhelmed...

    Thank you all sooooooo much!

    I'm overwhelmed as always by the kindness here. You are all wonderful people and when i saw how many replies I had I burst into tears - but happy ones this time! I've been feeling very isolated and alone of late and the only people who truly know how it feels to be in my position are right here on this forum and to say that means the world to me is an understatement.

    I truly do feel better for all your lovely messages of support and thank you for them. I find my asthma and all the things that go with it hard sometimes - as I know we all do - and I seem to pootle along just fine until one day i seem to crack with no warning and head on my downward spiral again. I have to hit rock bottom before I start to bounce back and I think today was probably the peak of it.

    Thank you all for not making me feel bad for feeling this way and for helping me feel less alone. I can't describe how much better it makes me feel. I send you all my warmest thanks and hugest fluffy hugs.

    To anyone feeling the way I am right now - please speak out. This forum is a light at the end of what can sometimes seem like a very long and lonely dark tunnel. A few kind words can make so much difference.

    Stay well everyone.

    Much love and thanks, Fluffy. xxx

  • feeling down

    I see that all your messages of support have come from females, so let a male wish you well and we have something in common, I have also just had 14 days in hospital.

    As I had a Respiratory Arrest in the street, and was lucky to be within running distance of a medical centre, it was the Doctors who did the running!!

    Got my heart started after two and a half minutes, and then to intensive care for three days, and the rest in the other pcu ward.

    So you see I can say, after the consultant has informed me that I had a near death experience, and my release letter says life threatning acute asthma, I appreciate life very much indeed.

    So you are a woman first, a female second.

    A man sees a woman, female is just a gender.

    Work on the woman inside you, if you feel attractive inside let yourself feel it, let the world see the inner woman.

    Only the inner woman is allowed to be seen by the world, smile to yourself.

    Talk to others as you would like to be talked to, smile at them in a positive way.

    There is no such woman as a fat woman, there is a larger woman, well larger woman can be as attractive as a thinner woman.

    You are alive,things happen, men let down woman, women let down men.

    We all have our fears, phobias, etc. but it is spring, open the curtains in the morning, feel good, you are alive!!!! and attractive!!!!

  • Dear Fluffy, I don't know you, but I hope you don't mind me sending you a huge telepathic hug. My heart goes out to you. You're very courageous writing down your feelings like that, far braver than I am. I think there's a lot of us, especially those on long term pred, myself included, who can relate to your story. Don't feel like you are on your own. PM me if you want - I hate to think of you crying alone.

    Lots of love, hugs and baaaas to the horrible pred,

    Sheep

    xxxxxxx

  • Stephen - will you marry me?

    Thanks. x

  • hi everyone.

    I thought I'd treat myself to a little bit of a glam-up today and gave someone £5.50 to rip my scary eyebrows off my face. Hmmmmm, backfired a bit that one as I may have nice eyebrows now but the red outline isn't so good.

    I also had my hair cut and I'm lucky that I have evry thick dark brown hair that all my friends envy so I did feel good when I left the hairdressers as it was all shiny and bouncy which was nice. Then bought lots and lots of sexy new undies and feel much foxier than I did yesterday. New perfume too and I'm going out this weekend with some friends and am determined not to hide myself away this time. I'm taking your advice and working on feeling better about myself. One day at a time and so far so good.

    Still got bad Pred munchies but who doesn't? Maybe I'll find a nice man to take me for a curry and feed me Minstrels afterwards - am I being too hopeful? My friend Jenny calls me The Vicar Of Dibley all the time because of my physical and personality-likeness to Dawn French so I guess I should be flattered.

    Thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to send messages, PM's and texts of support. You truly don't know what it means to me to know people care. Thank you all so so so much.

    I'd also like to send special thanks to Stephenf who wrote such a nice message below. A male persective is alsways welcome and I wish you a speedy recovery from your recent bad spell which could so easily have cost you your life. To take the time to say something kind to someone else when you have had such a hard time recently is an amazing thing to do and I'm grateful. Please take care of yourself.

    To everyone else, friends old and new, I love you all soooooooooooo much and hope you are all well today.

    Massive fluffy hugs all round - I needed one yesterday and was lucky enough to get lots. Today let someone else have some as I'm sure many are needy.

    Much love, Fluffy. xxx

  • HUGS

    yeah, i love to treat myself when im feeling down, apart from when im at the bottom of the hole, where nothing can pull me out.

  • HUGS

    yeah, i love to treat myself when im feeling down, apart from when im at the bottom of the hole, where nothing can pull me out.

  • well done fluffy for dusting yourself off and getting out there, it's so easy when you're down to hide yourself away and weep, but it doesn't help much does it? but it's very hard when you're really down, it takes enormous effort to face the world, so well done

    I always think, if your hair looks good, it makes such a difference. You're lucky to have such lovely hair

    keep smiling fluffy and if you feel another wobble coming on don't keep it all inside you, talk about it

    polly

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