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YMOPs of the world unite

Pronounced eye-mop and standing for Young Mad Old People. I formerly declare the founding of the above soceity. I dunno about you lot but I am really looking forward to being old to wearing purple, a tea cosy for hat, doing potty things and getting away with them. In short I want to grow old disgracefully (in the niecest possible way). I have been studying the art of being old discracefully and have decided it will take much practice to perfect I have therefore decided to set up a society dedicated to encouraging random acts of madness (especially if normally assocaited with the eldery) to reward and applude them. In short to turn out the finest pottiest set of OAP's possible in mumble mumble years time. So who is with me!

YMOPs forever :)


34 Replies

have you chosen which phrase you will shout when you are demented yet?

common ones seem to be:

""cup of tea""

""help me""


and theres always one that shouts ""whisky"" or similar, usually in a male ward, usually with various bits hanging out.

I reckon I'll pick either ""diet coke"" or ""chocolate"", cos I don't like cups of tea!


up with YMOPs - waving purple sign wildliy knocking over passers by.


cream eggs all the year round


Oh Owl no I have not but I will. I will study what real people of a more senior age group shout and come up with something. Got plenty of people here who qualify :)



Hmm yes a plaintive ""creme egg please"" is a worthy candidate.



so you still costafied then bex?


brad pitt please!! Wouldnt mind him visiting anytime.... swoon!


Owl, oh gods yes, I don't seem to have perfected the art of the quick admission.



I have a strange liking for corned beef although not reached spam yet. Do i qualify???


Speedy hunny, I have you down as honoury guest speaker for next month :)

And Den you can stop hiding you are the month after :)



oh well, hope you improve at that one soon! in the meantime, get practising your shouting, or at least think up some ideas!

what about ""gin"" or ""vodka""?

or something really random. Like ""tree"".

at least being in a female ward the oldies are likely to be vaguely civilised - it is the men that pee on each other/expose themselves etc!

Take care



The purple hat is MINE!!

(and it's got a daisy in)

I think I shall shout ""Jam"". Or perhaps ""Go away, it's a virus"".


Hawking up and spitting the result over the cotside appear to be the prefered thing here...

Ok so who can the talk entitled cardigans knitted from IV/O2/neb lines in one easy lesson :)



'doing potty things and getting away with them'

Bex you do that already!!!!


TKS my dear glad you popped up I was hoping you could do a talk entitled ""How I corrupted Bex"" in May :)



No comment!! ;)


ooo, excellent idea.

I am practicing selective deafness. And selective forgetfullness. like forgetting to do a PF if i know it is going to c**p. and forgetting where i put my mobile if i have a call i dont want to answer


I think i would like to shout DRINK like the old vicar in Father Ted!!!

when i was nursing the favorite was toilet and then pinch you when you tried to help them up!!! Or one lady who told you step by step exactly what you had to do everytime you dressed, undressed her.

I will just sit in bed and refuse to budge at all!!! and shout my orders constantlY!!! expecting everything to be done immediately!!!!!!!!!! And then say loudly when i was a nurse we did it this way!!!


By the way is there a fee for joining or do you have to go theu an inniatation ceremony??????


well excuse me miss mad-as-toast your older than me so therefore you have taught me some pretty potty things :-p


Thanks Bex would love to do a talk!!!! I want a shopping trolley on 4 wheels to shove in the way of any unwary shopper must be red tartan. My son just read a book called Grannies where they set out to cause as much disruption as possible and get points for it one got lots for holding up 35 people at the post office for ages. Am not hiding chest throwing wobbly with cold so not great but think things are bit beter today. Hope you are to hunny



Warning - When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple

By Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple

With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick the flowers in other people's gardens

And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go

Or only bread and pickles for a week

And hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

And pay our rent and not swear in the street

And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.


I'm meant to be old to wear purple? Oh dear!

Forget the blue rinses, when I'm old I'm going to go for full on bright coloured hair! I never had the guts when I was a student & now I don't feel it would be the best career move. I saw a lady in, I'm guessing, her late sixties the other day who had bright blue hair & it looked fantastic! You get such a stong colour on white.

I shall be saying ""That's mine!"" everytime I see anybody with cholcolate!


I'm getting plenty of training from my patients at work ready for a few years time. A common one is using the nurse call button either to change the TV channel or talk to someone on the telephone. How about going 'off legs' and then when nobody's looing shooting out to the toilet on your own. Want any other hints - just ask. I learn a few more nearly every day. Nasal specs in your ear works well too for continuous oxygen.


I have a purple hat too!!!

Definatedly ''Drink!' as in Father Ted too!

I can french knit my s/c line and I enjoy going tound toy departments pressing and setting off all the musical toys then inocently walking away.

My mother has been a member of the GODs (Growing old Disgracefully) long before she was 60!

Ange - how about an O2 mask as a hair dryer as modeled by an OAP with it parked on her head or a bald head cooler as modeled by a folically challenged male once! LOL!


Can I join? I may only be 32, but I often feel a heck of a lot older.

There used to be an elerdly lady who got the same bus as I got home from school. Whatever she was wearing, it was always one colour, and she always dyed her hair to match, whatever the colour!

Although I haven't done much research yet, and haven't had a long, hard think, I might yell out ""Chocolate! I need chocolate! Emergency! Chocolate needed NOW!""



Becky you are very welcome. Oh you can do Junes talk ""YMOPS go camping"" or some such about your mammoth expedition last year, with tips about regional variations on madness :)


ps oh we can set up the projector to show pictures too if you want :)

PPS Deek you got a projectioners wig in that box?


top post bex

the happening place to be! in all our purpleness and 'do you remember when.......'



Can I join too?

I've been practising in-your- face- stubborness for ....hmmmmm...... most of my life now!

Think I MUST qualify for a red hat award. And purple IS my second most favourite colour, after red of course.



Mia you are over qualified and you know it :) :) ;) So on what and when are doing your talk?





Pourquoi les denouements, - ou et quand? Peut etre je n’ai pas les abilities pour describer…?

Aussi, est ce que tu n’avez pas beaucoup plus mots pour describer… Y M O P's? …

….Je ne le pense pas. ( I don’t think so!)

En Anglais…maintenant. Je sera reponde.

(Everyone PLEASE forgive my dreadful French grammar! Am practising for a future holiday)

And why do I feel this post is turning into a French/Saunders cyber sketch? Answers on a tres petit cyber postcard sil vous plait. And I don’t want any of those ‘ouvrez les fenetres’ ones either!

So what am I going to do my YMOP talk about?

About not being serious, - humour will ALWAYS get you out of difficult situations, and positive thinking will ALWAYS lighten a load, both real and….um….real.

About listening to others.

About thinking out of the box. (Ooops a bit of a clichéd management-speak idea/ology)

About negotiating…everything.

About not accepting the last word if you don’t agree with it.

(Getting too serious now!)

One of my favourite childhood books is Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie. This is my reverse age, YMOP mantra – quote - from said book:-

‘With a blow of their fists they made windows and large yellow leaves were the blinds. But roses -------- ?

“Roses,” cried Peter sternly.

Quickly they made-believe to grow the loveliest roses up the walls.

The YMOP venue aka when?


‘Never never land’

All around us, all encompassing.

Please challenge.



If you lot start using foreign lingos I swaer I will reply in Klingon and leave you all bamboozled.

Mia I will put you down for August then shall I? Do I need to book a translator :)

So ist meeting of the YMOPS will be in 2 weeks time in Never Nevfer land.

Speedy I think you are 1st up, better get working on your talk and keep it clean hunny no dribbling jam down your front :D



Mia you have given me an idea i will insist to all nursing staff i am chinese. I will only use my chinese skills and insist on a translator and only eat traditional chinese fare!!!!!!


LOL Bowmei. Don’t think many of those hospital peeps would know a word, or have any cultural knowledge of Chinese. Good idea!

(I have banned all electronic Mandarin/ Cantonese translators from my lectures It’s the only way to get Chinese students to learn English.)

So you might starve to death, but rice is such a safe, staple, none allergenic or maybe none intolerant starchy carbohydrate?

Ni chi-le fan mei you? (Please forgive my Mandarin grammar)

Hospital dieticians please note!

But better still everyone would benefit from the cultural behaviour of many Chinese I know – both business and studenty embryonic business folks -who all, but ALL, share one common belief.

And that is, that getting through a brick wall is open to many shades – brick coloured - of negotiation.

Bex it’s March not August! Wendy ALWAYS does her spring cleaning in the Spring.

Spring equinox and all that… you should know.

Some Klingon now methinks.



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